Understanding
There comes a time when anyone I'm close to becomes annoyed or hurt by me talking about a point of conflict until I am right.
Or at least that is what they perceive.
I want a certain (maybe exact) response, not to show that I am right - although that may be a result - but to feel validated that the other person understands what I am saying.
I have a need to feel understood.
Two things shift the focus from wanting to be understood over to wanting to feel right.
1.) No attempt at trying to understand what I'm saying. This could be due to any number of things. Emotional maturity. Not caring. Naivety. Things along those lines.
2.) Understanding what I'm saying, but blatantly disregarding the action of validating that understanding with words or actions. Basically acting like a child. Very similar to 1, but arguably worse.
Now if you ask me why I feel the need to be understood...well...a lot of times I feel alone in the way I think or perceive the world. I don't necessarily believe how I think is the best or greatest way - and even if I do - I try to hold an open forum for discussion.
But out of this I need the other person to provide a valid argument - valid meaning something of substance and not just words to say words or some not well thought out response.
Maybe that not well thought out response is the best a person can do. I dunno. Maybe I just expect more from the people I choose to keep company with.
When the other person stops wanting to communicate, I should learn to walk away.
Or at least that is what they perceive.
I want a certain (maybe exact) response, not to show that I am right - although that may be a result - but to feel validated that the other person understands what I am saying.
I have a need to feel understood.
Two things shift the focus from wanting to be understood over to wanting to feel right.
1.) No attempt at trying to understand what I'm saying. This could be due to any number of things. Emotional maturity. Not caring. Naivety. Things along those lines.
2.) Understanding what I'm saying, but blatantly disregarding the action of validating that understanding with words or actions. Basically acting like a child. Very similar to 1, but arguably worse.
Now if you ask me why I feel the need to be understood...well...a lot of times I feel alone in the way I think or perceive the world. I don't necessarily believe how I think is the best or greatest way - and even if I do - I try to hold an open forum for discussion.
But out of this I need the other person to provide a valid argument - valid meaning something of substance and not just words to say words or some not well thought out response.
Maybe that not well thought out response is the best a person can do. I dunno. Maybe I just expect more from the people I choose to keep company with.
When the other person stops wanting to communicate, I should learn to walk away.