Fall Asleep In Your Branches, for Shar

[jenny_b09]

Title: Fall Asleep In Your Branches
For: Shar/Hermione Jean Granger
Characters/Pairings: Remus/OC, Sirius, Peter, James, peripheral James/Lily
Rating: 3rd/5th Years
Warnings (if any): Just a tiny bit of language.
A/N: Spooky Swap has always been my favorite of all the exchanges in SPEW, so I'm super stoked about getting to write for it. I'd like to thank/blame my beta, A, for making this story so long, and for brainstorming with me when I needed it. Also, thanks to The National for lending lyrics from "Conversation 16" to the title of this story as well as a few of the lines of dialogue.

"You wouldn't believe the shitty thoughts I think," Remus said quietly. He didn't need to say it loudly. The protests of Sirius, James, and Peter died away immediately. They'd been trying to boost his confidence again. But, really, that wasn't the problem. Remus knew he was attractive enough, smart enough, kind enough to get a girlfriend. He'd heard girls whisper about him. He was just logical. It was all well and good that they wanted to be supportive friends, but he'd gone over this in his head enough.

Sirius was the first to recover the ability to wag his tongue. "Remus, come on, look at us! We don't care that you're a werewolf-"

"Look," Remus cut in, "I understand, but the thing is that it just doesn't make any sense to do the whole romantic thing, because I'm a werewolf once a month. I get that you three don't get that, that you're stupid enough to become Animagi and risk your lives running around in the forest with me, but I'm not going to put a girl through my Lycanthropy."

"Technically, we couldn't be stupid and be Animagi," James countered. "It's pretty difficult, you know."

Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, taking in a deep breath. "Yes, it's quite a paradox."

There was another pregnant pause, but it only lasted a moment.

"Moony-" Peter started.

"I need to go study for Ancient Runes," Remus said. He was exhausted from the full moon only a few days before, still trying to recover his strength, and he didn't want to talk about this anymore. He crossed their shared room in a few strides, shouldered his bag, and left without another word to the sound of Sirius retching and heaving, gasping out the words 'ancient runes' among his theatrics.

Remus did go to the library, but not for Ancient Runes. Ancient Runes actually came pretty easily to him. His mind seemed to just absorb and remember all of that, but his friends didn't know this. It's actually one of the reasons he took the subject. It was simple to make excuses to study for a subject his friends didn't take when they were planning pranks that he more than knew would land them in weeks of detention, and he knew it was futile to try and stop such plans from rolling forward.

Remus nodded at Madam Pince and then entered the Restricted Section. He'd had to go there for research a few times in fifth year, and he'd brought his signed notes to show the librarian in order to get let in. Then she stopped asking for the notes, and at that point, Remus knew he no longer needed a note and had been routinely visiting the Restricted Section ever since. There were rarely more than one or two other students among these shelves, and within the first four years Remus had spent at Hogwarts, he'd already exhausted the reading material on magical creatures in the rest of the library. Remus knew most people would probably doubt such a claim, but it was the honest truth. Before Sirius, James, and Peter had known he was a werewolf, Remus had spent as much time as he could in the library, hoping the absence from his friends would keep them from being quite so suspicious when he disappeared at the full moon, and it had worked for a while.

He still spent his time in the library pouring over any page about magical creatures. Well, other magical creatures. He didn't care for reading about werewolves, but reading about all of the other magical creatures in the world helped him to feel more human. There were worse fates for humans turned creature, after all, like the constant craving for human blood. At least his difficulties only came once a month, and he wasn't so conscious of those bestial desires.

Remus turned down the aisle for magical creatures, nodding as he passed Damocles Belby, the Ravenclaw Prefect. Remus took note of the book Damocles had in his hands, and was glad to see it was one he'd already studied. Remus was a fairly patient person, but he did get irritated when a book he'd wanted was not on the shelf. He moved down the row to the S's. Remus scratched his chin as he debated between Superstitions and the Magical Reality of the Non-Human and Supremely Sinister Spirits and Creatures. He heard someone humming nearby and sighed. It wasn't that difficult to be quiet in the library. Remus reached for Supremely Sinister Spirits and Creatures, pulling the black leather-bound tome off the shelf. He flipped through a few of the pages. The book was relatively new compared to many of the books in the library, especially in the Restricted Section.

The humming stopped, but only to make way for the soft singing now, though it somehow annoyed him less to hear. Remus looked up from his book to see it was none other than Eva Quinn, another seventh year, the Slytherin Prefect, and arguably the most beautiful girl in their year. She smiled warmly at Remus and nodded at the open chair next to her at the small study table.

Remus hadn't actually spoken much to Eva, but they were in the same Ancient Runes class together, and both Prefects, so he went and joined her at the table.

"Sorry if you heard me singing. Sometimes I just can't help myself. It's a bad habit," she said, smiling apologetically.

Remus found himself laughing softly. "Oh, don't worry. I wasn't really bothered."

"Like I said, bad habit I can't help," she said with a giggle, shaking her head at herself. She tucked a long lock of her dark, wavy hair behind her ear before picking up her quill. "I'm actually glad you're here, though, Remus. There's a translation I'm trying to sort out from what Professor Gallagher assigned yesterday, and I don't know if I've gotten it quite right. Would you mind taking a look at it?"

"Sure, Eva." He leaned forward to look at the roll of parchment Eva had been working on. Remus was by no means gifted in Ancient Runes, but he did manage well enough. Though he was fairly certain Eva was one of the more gifted students in their class. If she had questions over a part of their assignment, he was a little worried. His brow furrowed as he compared Eva's translation to the runes in their textbook. "I think these look right. At least I think you've managed to capture the intended meaning here."

"Good. I think I just needed a second opinion, really. Sometimes I second-guess my translations," Eva said, and Remus was a little surprised at her close proximity. She'd leaned forward to look over it as well, and she didn't move away even now that he'd turned his head. He was more surprised that he didn't move away himself, either. Instead he found himself folding his arms and resting them against the table, the way he'd seen James do when he studied with Lily. This was strange, and yet it felt somewhat natural at the same time.

"Are you ready for the exam next week?" he asked.

"I think so, with some revision."

"Think we can get him to talk through the exam hour again?"

The two laughed. Earlier in the year, their class had goaded their new professor into a theatric retelling of his discovery of some ruins in Guatemala, until it was too late in the period to take the exam.

Madam Pince appeared then to poke her head around a corner and shush their laughter.

The two ducked their heads and tried to quiet immediately, but their shoulders still shook with laughter. Once they heard the librarian cluck her disapproval and then shuffle away, they began talking again. The conversation came easily, and Remus wondered why he hadn't taken the chance to associate with her before. There was the tradition of animosity between Gryffindor and Slytherin, but it wasn't even that so much as they just ran in different circles in classes and even among the other Prefects. About ten minutes later, Pince walked past their table again to glare at them, even more disapproving of their quiet whisperings because this was the Restricted Section. Eva went to her parchment, and Remus opened up Supremely Sinister Spirits and Creatures.

Once she was out of sight again, Eva pushed her chair back and nodded toward the far stacks of books. Without a thought, Remus nodded and followed right behind her. He'd seen other people disappear into the far alcoves of the library, of course, but he'd never been one of those people before. Eva seemed to be bringing out a flirtatious and open side of himself that he didn't know he had. He fell into step naturally beside her, and their whispered conversation resumed.

But then Remus noticed as they stepped between the rows of books, from shadow to light to shadow and light again, something about Eva's skin changed. It was only for a moment, and the first time he assumed it was just his eyes, but after the third flickering of her skin, he pulled to a dead stop and caught her arm as well. "What are you?"

Her brow furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

She probably would have fooled every single other student in the castle, but it takes an expert liar to know one. She was hiding her identity.

"You're not human," he said evenly. "I saw your skin change in the light."

She bit down on her lip for half a second, studying him. "Then you're not human either. Humans don't see anything different about me."

Eva reached up to touch his face, but he pulled back. Her gesture made everything in his mind slip into place, pieces of things he'd read before, her singing, the easy - no charming - conversation, and why he was behaving so against his grain. "You're a siren."

Eva let out a small huff of exasperation and then tugged him down the aisle and to the very back corner of the Restricted Section. "You could have the courtesy to keep your voice a bit lower. And I'm only part siren."

"That explains why you can exist out of water."

"Well, my ancestors had to adapt, as well. Sea travel isn't as common as it once was."

Remus nodded. His head was spinning in a lot of different directions. First, he was standing only inches away from another outsider. Second, sirens were supposed to be dangerous. Third, she'd managed to keep her identity a secret for the whole of her career at Hogwarts much as he had, and guys weren't dropping dead around her. Fourth, just how much adaptation had happened with the siren race? Fifth, since he wasn't fully human, how would their interactions play out? He'd read that interactions between supernatural creatures were different than their interactions with humans, but this was the first time he'd ever come across someone else who wasn't all human. Well, aside from the horrible experience with Fenrir when his own private horror had started. Sixth, she was really close. Had she been that close a moment ago?

"So what are you, Remus?"

He swallowed. Eva was entirely too close now, and yet not close enough. She tugged gently on the front of his robes, and he inched even closer. His eyes were drawn to her lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss her. She tilted her head ever so slightly, and Remus knew what that meant. His heart was racing, and everything that wasn't her began to swim out of focus.

Then someone rounded the corner, and reality came rushing back around them, and Eva and Remus stepped away from each other. It was Damocles Belby again. "Er, sorry. I'll just..." And with that he turned back the other way.

Remus leaned against the wall and let his head fall back, taking deep breaths for a few seconds to clear his head. The realization of the situation was more than sobering. "I can't believe I almost just-"

"I know, I'm so sorry," Eva cut in, words tumbling quickly out of her mouth. "I mean, I wanted to kiss you, of course, but not like that, with all the siren stuff. But you caught me off guard, and I..." She sighed and then spoke more slowly. "I genuinely like you, Remus. I admit I lured you over tonight with a little bit of siren song, but that was because I couldn't figure out how else to get your attention, and the library is the only place you ever seem to be alone. But I've never met someone else who was different like me, and just the shock of you realizing I'm part siren, and the burning curiosity to find out what you are, the siren part of me just took over. I'm sorry for getting carried away."

Remus just studied her face, his mind considering just two things. Everything he'd read about sirens claimed that a siren's kiss could draw every desire and every secret from a man. He'd been so close to revealing his secret to her. But then there was the admission that she actually liked him, had even gone so far as to seek him out. She'd probably used some of her siren charm to loosen him up when they'd been merely talking, but Remus didn't think he resented that.

"Remus, please say something."

She'd said it herself - she was different, too. If any girl could understand him, maybe it would be her. "You genuinely like me? Do you mean...?"

She bit her lip, but didn't break her gaze. "Yes, I mean that."

Remus nodded. "How long have you been coming to the library to - er - to see me?" He could feel the heat rising up his neck.

"Long enough," she admitted with a laugh. "Do you have any idea how oblivious you are when you study? Look," she continued, "let's take back the last five minutes and say that I didn't try to steal a kiss from you, okay?"

"Okay."

"Though you still know I'm part siren."

"Yes."

"And?"

Remus knew full well Eva wanted his admission as well, but he could not give it. But he did take her by the shoulders and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. "Eva, you should just know that I don't tell anyone that secret. I never have."

Remus and Eva Quinn only crossed paths on Mondays and Wednesdays when they were either in Ancient Runes or the Monday evening Prefect meetings. The episode with in the library happened on Thursday night, and Remus supposed he could've possibly tried to seek her out, but he wasn't quite sure how to go about it without being a stalker. So Remus hadn't seen Eva all weekend until she walked into the Great Hall late Sunday morning. He himself was eating with Peter, Sirius, James, and Lily, as always. Remus just happened to look around when Eva looked his way, they smiled at each other, and she paused on her way to the Slytherin table. Remus inclined his head to the empty spot next to him, and Eva raised an eyebrow as if to ask if he was sure. Remus only smiled wider, and Eva made her way over.

"Remus, who are you...?" Lily turned to look and see who Remus had been smiling at, and then grinned. "Oh!"

James looked up from his plate piled high with brunch, "Lily, what are you-?"

Lily elbowed him to be quiet just as Eva arrived.

"Hi," Remus said.

"Hi," she replied.

"Are you going to eat with us?" Lily almost trilled.

"I thought I might."

"Please do. I need another girl when I'm stuck with these four!"

"Here, let me pour you some pumpkin juice," Remus offered as Eva sat down.

"Thanks, Remus," she said, pushing her hair over her shoulder.

Lily almost assaulted Eva with friendly conversation, so happy to have another girl join them who could actually carry on an intelligent conversation. Remus joined in the conversation of course, and James did too once he'd shoveled enough food into his mouth. Even Peter put in a word or two.

Remus didn't have to look at Sirius to know the dog was glaring at him almost the entire time.

Well, he could just go on glaring. Remus didn't need his approval.

The options for romantic things to do were pretty limited at Hogwarts, but one of the many benefits of taking up cartography was that Remus knew about all sorts of hidden away places in the castle that even some of the ghosts didn't know about, let alone the professors or Dumbledore. Tonight Remus had brought Eva to an abandoned room on the seventh floor that was only accessible by catching a moving staircase at the right time and then finding the hollow wall and whispering the correct password to open up the hidden door in said wall that opened up to a small wooden staircase. The room had a massive picture window that looked out over the lake. Remus had brought along a small satchel with food from the kitchens, and after transfiguring an abandoned table into a comfy couch, the resulting setup was actually quite nice.

Knowing that Eva wasn't purely human, just like him, had just made things so easy between them. Something about telling her just what a hideous, terrible monster he was still didn't feel like something he could do, but the simple fact that she knew he wasn't human, and could understand it herself, made talking to her so easy. What's more the silences were comfortable, too. They felt natural. He never got silence with the Marauders.

After finishing the sandwiches, fruits, and cake the house elves in the kitchens had happily given him, he and Eva had both reclined back on the couch to look out across the grounds and the lake and watch the sun set in that soothing silence that fell now and again between them. But Remus soon found he couldn't help looking at Eva, studying her every feature in the radiant light from the setting sun. The way the light caught on her olive skin, looking like warm honey, the way it contrasted with her dark hair was stunning.

Eva turned her head then, her hazel eyes locking with his. "You're staring at me."

"Sorry, I was just thinking I'd eat your brains. Still hungry."

Eva rolled her eyes and smirked. "You're not a zombie, Remus."

"But still evil."

"Maybe ridiculous, but not evil."

"Ridiculous?" Remus scoffed.

Eva laughed. "Ridiculous in a good way. Well, in a mostly good way, as you still won't kiss me."

Remus began to frown, but Eva moved closer and tucked herself under his arm. "I understand, but it's been a few weeks, I'm hoping you'll get over it soon. But let's not spoil the evening."

"Okay," Remus said. He let his arm fall around her shoulders, and his other hand reached for one of hers, and their fingers twined together.

"You do know you won't be able to hide the truth from me forever though, right?"

"Can't you just be content not knowing the specifics?"

"Well, wouldn't you like to kiss your girlfriend?"

Remus turned to look into her face again, his mind spinning a little, and his stomach spinning a lot at those words. "Is that what you are?"

She actually blushed, part siren that she was, with all the boys that flirted and vied for her attention, she blushed in that moment, shrinking away a little. "Unless you don't-"

"No, I do," he said quickly, pulling her close, "I was just surprised, but I'd like that."

"Well then, I suppose that's at least one thing settled between us." Eva let her head fall onto his shoulder and snuggled in more closely.

Remus kissed the top of her head tenderly and squeezed her hand.

"I can't wait until Saturday!" Sirius said, throwing his schoolbag on the floor and falling back on his bed.

"What's Saturday?" Peter asked, exchanging a look with Remus.

"Hogsmeade weekend!" Sirius exclaimed, aghast that they could've forgotten, throwing his hands in the air.

Remus exchanged another look with Peter before stating the obvious. "But you go to Hogsmeade all the time."

"But it's different when everyone else in school gets to go, gives the town a totally different feel." Their dormitory door opened, and James came in. "Right, James?"

"Yeah."

Remus shook his head. "You don't even know what we're talking about, how can you agree?"

"No, you're talking about Hogsmeade, aren't you?"

"But how'd you already know that?" Peter asked.

James grinned. "I'm Head Boy."

The four friends laughed, settling in for a bit of time to relax before they went down to dinner.

"Speaking of Hogsmeade, Remus," James said, "Lily wanted me to ask you if Eva Quinn's coming with us."

Sometimes Remus wondered if Sirius really could shoot daggers out of his eyes when he glared at someone. This was a subject Remus had managed to divert conversation away from for a few weeks, primarily because he knew almost exactly what Sirius was going to say. Remus ignored Sirius's scrutiny as he answered James. "I'm pretty sure she will, yes."

"Good, Lily will-"

"No," Sirius interrupted, "this is not good! She's a Slytherin!"

Here we go, Remus thought. "And?"

"And what? That doesn't need further explanation! I can't believe you're getting involved with her!"

"Can we not do this?"

James tried to offer some support. "Lily thinks Eva's pretty nice, she likes her."

Sirius's stony glare turned to James. "Remember who else Lily used to like? She only likes Eva because she's a Prefect. Lily doesn't even know Eva."

"And neither do you," Remus countered.

"I know she's a Slytherin, and that's really all I need to know."

"Sirius, you of all people should understand what it's like to be judged because of a label given to you. House of Black." Sirius didn't reply to that, but his face wasn't any less hostile. "Look, do you want me to have a girlfriend or not? Because she's it, okay?"

"Oh, she's it then, is she? Have you told her about your time of the month?" Sirius challenged.

"Of course I haven't."

"Because if she really is going to be your girlfriend, you have to tell her. So you just think long and hard whether you'd trust a Sly - her with that secret. Ask yourself what she's going to think when she finds out, what she'll do. And if you can't tell her, then do yourself a favor end it now."

Remus wasn't really angry with Sirius. It was annoying that he was so prejudiced against Eva just because of her house, but Remus had known for years that Sirius had absolutely inherited that trait from the Black family.

Sirius was utterly right, though, and that conversation made Remus really think over the following days about his relationship with Eva. He'd thought about it idly over the past few weeks, but he'd kept putting off the real evaluation that he knew he had to do.

Remus considered how much the siren part of Eva played into their relationship. Was she still around because she wanted to know what he was or because he wouldn't kiss her? Either way, Remus felt like she was sticking around to get what she wanted. From everything he'd ever read about sirens - and that had grown to be a great deal more of late - Sirens were motivated by their desires only, and once they got what they wanted from a man, they had no more use for him.

But to be fair, Eva was only part siren, and he knew there was some genuine fondness between them. His cynical mind just couldn't judge how much.

Which begged the question as to why Remus didn't just kiss her and get it over with. He was maybe actually falling for her. He always kept that siren part of her in mind, but true to her word, there hadn't been anymore significantly siren moments between them.

He could probably hide the truth from her for at least one full moon, which would give him at least another few weeks to really sort out his feelings and figure her out. He knew that two full moons wouldn't be possible - she was so curious and determined that she'd put things together the second time around now that she was watching him so closely.

But for now, she was his girlfriend. A girlfriend that half of him was desperate to kiss, while the other half was terrified of the reveal that would probably entail. Why did she have to be a siren? Or why, he asked for the trillionth time, did he have to be a werewolf?

Saturday had been a good day so far. Remus had been a little wary of Sirius being standoffish or cold toward Eva while their group wandered around Hogsmeade, but he'd behaved himself and been neutral most of the day. The rest of the group had welcomed Eva quite naturally, and Remus knew Lily was glad to have another girl around.

As the afternoon drew to a close Remus suggested to Eva that they split off from his friends and make the walk back to the castle alone. As they said goodbye to the group, Sirius had even smiled and nodded. The smile had been only a little developed past grimace, but it was progress.

They took the longest way back possible, walking down the more reputable side streets before finally setting foot on the road that led back to Hogwarts. As they walked together, surrounded by trees, their branches laden with the budding green leaves of the early spring, a small rabbit dashed across the path not far ahead of them.

"I had a rabbit when I was a little girl."

"Yeah? What happened to it?"

"Well my sister and I found it in our garden, but we only had it for a few days before it ran away. But now I think my mother just banished it, because it liked to eat her flowers."

Remus laughed. "We had an old cat when I was a boy. Mum wouldn't let me have a dog since we had the cat, and I always resented the old thing for that."

"And do you still want a dog?"

"Merlin, no! Dogs are far too much trouble, at least in my experience."

It began to rain then, and they picked up their pace, trotting down the lane, fingers entwined.

After a minute of this, Eva suddenly halted. Remus stopped as well and turned to look at her.

She looked very pensive and determined. "Why won't you kiss me?"

He sighed. "You know why."

She shook her head and crossed her arms. "Nope. Not good enough anymore. What are you afraid of?"

So many things, he thought. He closed the distance between them, cupping her face in his hands. Of losing you, of scaring you, of repulsing you, of losing you. Remus leaned his forehead against hers, their eyes are closed, and he brushed his thumb over her lip.

She let out a shuddering breath. "Oh, Remus," she said, almost pleading.

And then all the quiet courage he had inside swelled and he knew he had to kiss those lips. He moved his head ever so slightly, their lips meeting tentatively at first. Then their lips began to move against each other, the weeks of waiting finally combusting between them. They clung to each other desperately, unwilling to break the kiss until finally they were out of breath. But their faces stayed close together, and their eyes remained closed while they caught their breath.

When Remus finally pulled back, he watched Eva warily.

"What?" she asked.

"Well?"

"We have a kiss like that and you want to hash out the details of what I saw right now?" she asked, her voice a bit heated. But then she saw the worry in his eyes, and she softened. "When a siren touches another person, she can feel his thoughts, to an extent. When she kisses a human, she sees everything he wants, everything he is. I mean, you obviously already knew that."

Remus nodded, hardly daring to breathe.

"When I touch you," she continued, "I only get inklings of what you're thinking, but honestly it's not much more than when I look at your face or read into what you say and do. But when I kissed you, you're human enough that I still saw everything you want."

"And?" he pressed.

"And you want desperately more than anything in this world to be normal."

"Is that all you saw?"

Eva shrugged and wiped some of the rain off her forehead. "Apparently you're different enough that I couldn't discover your secret through a kiss. Not that I needed to, since I already know."

Remus stiffened, but Eva brought her hands up to his face, pulling him close again. "You stupid, stupid boy. I found out from Peter within a few days after we had brunch in the Great Hall."

Remus drew back, his blood beginning to boil at the betrayal Eva spoke of, his hands shaking. "He told you?"

"No, no," Eva quickly explained, "He didn't have to say it at all. I caught him one day and just talked to him about you, and I touched his arm. Siren who can read the thoughts of pure humans, remember?"

Remus nodded, calmed a little.

"But don't you see? You could've told me. I understand more than anyone what it's like to hide who you are."

Remus snorted. "You? Really?"

"Yes, Remus," she almost spat back at him. "Who would ever knowingly want to be with a siren? A siren's song can only hold sway and entice for so long, and when that's gone and the man realizes what we are, he's never stayed. These past few weeks I know it's been a big battle in your own mind, whether or not we should be anything."

"But then, why didn't you just tell me you knew?"

"Because you had to decide, obviously. I wanted you to trust me with your secret, since I'd already trusted you with my heart."

Lightning lit up the sky in the distance, and as the rain continued to fall around them, Remus finally saw the whole of who they were. He was a werewolf with a secret, yes, but she was a girl who happened to be a siren and who had put up with a ridiculous boy because she actually loved him, in spite of the creature he was, in spite of how he held people at a distance.

"Remus, please say something."

His mind scrambled for what he should say in that moment. But he didn't want to say anything. "Can I kiss you again?"

Her face broke into the smile that he loved, and he scooped her up in his arms and kissed her again.