Collateral Damage, for Jennifer (Pt. 4)
4 May, 2039
“How could you have let this happen, Potter? You just threw away seven months of work!”
Jenkins angrily slapped a copy of the previous day’s Daily Prophet onto his desk, complete with the front-page article that Albus had already seen. It gushed on and on about the scandalous break-up between society’s favourite young couple. Most of it was provided by a cleaning lady at the hotel who had heard some of their argument as she was passing by, plus some of the eyewitnesses form the ill-fated exit from the Victory Day ball at the Bletchleys’.
Rubbing his face in his hands, Jenkins groaned. “How long do you think it’ll take before they figure out that there is no real Melinda Macmillan? These people aren’t that bloody stupid.”
“Don’t you think I know that!” Albus snapped, nearly forgetting that he would have normally preferred being flayed than to speak to his supervisor like that. “There’s nothing I can do about it. He’s gone, and now I’m stuck.”
If possible, Jenkins was even more frustrated. “Do you at least have something?”
The dire mood lifted somewhat as Albus related what Hornby had told him about things changing and whatever drivel had come along with it. While it had been interesting and pertinent at the time, Albus couldn’t bring himself to give a damn. All he could think of was what Scorpius had said. He had truly not believed that it wasn’t something he’d done wrong. He just wouldn’t see that Albus was the villain, the bastard, the liar, the-
“Wait a minute!” Finally remembering Scorpius’s offhand remark about the Knights, Albus said, “Scorpius said something about the Knights! He was banging on about… some things, and he said something about them planning a Ministry takeover.” He couldn’t believe that he’d forgotten something so vital, but if any of it was true, perhaps it wasn’t too late to stop it.
Instead of looking excited or at least happy to have such a crucial piece of news, Jenkins blanched. “Are you sure that’s what you heard? Are you completely sure?”
When Albus nodded, Jenkins started muttering to himself. This went on for nearly five minutes before the latter said, “Lay low for a while, but if you can, try to find out some more. We may just salvage this whole thing yet.”
21 June, 2039
Albus found himself yet again in the familiar routine of applying a beastly amount of make-up and putting on yet another air-restricting dress for the sake of his job. To his surprise, two weeks before, he had received an invitation to the Montagues’ Solstice party to celebrate the coming of summer. It was a completely ridiculous reason to hold an event, but he suspected it was more about parents having one last bit of fun before their kids came back from Hogwarts.
Really, Albus just suspected it was going to end up being people trying to get him and Scorpius near one another for some entertainment. As much as this made him not want to go, he knew he had to. He’d already done enough damage by not being careful, so he would have to tread lightly this time around.
He was running very late, mostly because he didn’t have the advantage of someone to pick him up an hour early for every engagement. Also, he couldn’t be bothered to care what anyone thought about Melinda anymore. He still hated her. If he never had to swallow another Polyjuice pill, it would be too soon.
Finally, when Albus arrived, it was just as he suspected. There were not-so-discreet whispers from all around the room, and most of the ones he could make out were speculative of why ‘she’ and Scorpius had split. They’d had almost two months to postulate, but neither of them had given anyone an answer. It was Albus’s fervent wish that they not get one, either. The last thing he needed was to be called to Jenkins’s office and fired on the spot. Plus, that would necessitate a rather uncomfortable run-in with Scorpius. No matter how much time had passed, he still wasn’t ready to see that look of disdain again anytime soon.
Within five minutes, ‘Melinda’ had already been monopolised on the dance floor by anyone and everyone looking to pump ‘her’ for information about the gossip columns’ current favourite subject. It gave Albus satisfaction to thwart their efforts, since it really wasn’t any of their business anyway. That had become the normal conversation until one of the last of the night, and that was with Greengrass.
“I see you talked to Hornby. I’m sure Jenkins was happy with that little nugget.”
Gobsmacked, Albus froze on the spot. “I… I have no idea what you mean, Mr Greengrass. Who is Jenkins?”
Bowing showily as if the dance was completed normally, Greengrass said under his breath, “Outside. Five minutes. Rose garden.”
Nodding, Albus could only stare in confusion as Greengrass melted away in the crowd. What the hell was he talking about, and how much did he know about Jenkins? How did he know? There really was no other option than to comply.
As instructed, Albus was in the rose garden five minutes later. The second they were within five feet of one another, Greengrass cast a Silencing Charm around them. He looked around for anyone watching and said, “Disillusion yourself. We can’t be seen.”
Still in the dark, Albus did as he was told. This man apparently needed to say something damned important, and it seemed to be crucial that no one else hear it. And he was tired of being ordered around. “What the hell are you on about, anyway?”
“I know you’re working for the Ministry, and I’m pretty sure I know who you are, as well.”
Albus’s breath seized in his chest. “I have no idea what you mean. Why would I be working for the Ministry?”
“You can stop with the ruse, Potter. Both of us know there is no Melinda Macmillan.”
There was definitely something off about this whole thing, and Albus wanted to know what it was. “Are you really Richard Greengrass?”
“Of course, you fool! Don’t you ever pay attention?” At Albus’s silence, he harrumphed. “I’ve been working with the Ministry for years, providing information on the Knights, and you’ve read my reports for the past five years under the name ‘Michael Millegan’. Why do you think I told you to talk to Hornby?”
Recognising the name, thus confirming Greengrass’s veracity, Albus said, “I just thought you were a dotty old man that hated his grandson’s girlfriend enough to send her to a lecherous old bastard. Not that I blame you, though.”
“That’s why I wanted to talk to you, Potter. I’m worried about my grandson.”
With a sigh, Albus said, “Yeah, I know I broke his heart. Don’t think for a second that I don’t already feel like shit for that, but there was no other way.”
Another grunt of annoyance told Albus that it wasn’t what Greengrass had meant. “Not that. You’ve got bigger problems.”
“How so?” Albus couldn’t think of anything at the moment worse than wrecking both his and Scorpius’s life.
“They’re after you.”
They’re after you. Albus was sure that this could only mean one thing. The Knights had somehow worked out who he was. How they did that was beyond him, but Greengrass wouldn’t have risked his cover if there weren’t any true danger. “How?”
“A month ago, when Hornby and Lucius Malfoy were arrested for conspiracy, even though they were released because of lack of evidence, that tipped them off that there was someone on the inside. The first thing they did was look at anyone new in town, and who should burst onto the social scene than the perfect little pure-blood girl. It didn’t take them long to make the connection.”
“Shit,” Albus said. His invitation hadn’t been a plot for gossip; it had been a trap, and who knew when they were going to strike. “I need to get out of here.” But then he remembered what Greengrass had said about why he wanted to talk. “What does this have to do with Scorpius?”
Greengrass’s tone said under no uncertain terms that he thought Albus was far too slow on the uptake. “Scorpius’s disagreement with the Knights’ values and views is well documented. And then when they make the connection between him and their suspected mole, what does your ever-so-keen mind tell you about what they’re going to think next?”
“They think he’s in on it.” Albus didn’t need an answer to know that he’d finally caught on to what he was being told. Had it not been such a ridiculously dangerous situation, he would have laughed at the fact that he was capable of hurting Scorpius even after they hadn’t seen one another in nearly two months. “What do you want me to do about it? He won’t even talk to me.”
“Merlin, Potter. For someone with your genetics and resume, you are a complete idiot. You need to take him somewhere and hide, and don’t take ‘no’ for an answer!”
Of course, Greengrass was right. Albus needed to disappear. Scorpius needed to disappear. It would only make sense for them to do so together. All he needed was some way to do it without being caught and without being noticed. “I need help.”
“Well, that’s bloody obvious.” Lowering his Disillusionment Charm, Greengrass said, “Don’t go to the Ministry, because they have someone on the inside, and you can’t be sure who that is. You stay here, and stay invisible. I’ll have him come out here. Body-bind him, turn him into a cat - whatever you have to do - but get him out of here!” He started to walk away but mouthed over his shoulder, “Trust no one.” With that, he was gone.
Albus racked his brain for the kindest of detention spells, but fieldwork had never been his speciality. It looked like it was going to be a Body-bind and a Silencing Charm. When the time came, it went off without a hitch. As soon as they were off the grounds, Albus Apparated both of them to the first place he could think of where no one would look for either of them, and that was at his own flat, which had not been lived in for months. It smelt of disuse and slightly of mould, but he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to notice it once Scorpius was released.
With a flick of his wand, Albus cast a non-verbal ‘Finite Incantatem’, allowing Scorpius to start the rant that had no doubt been burning to get out. He did not disappoint.
“What in the name of Merlin is this about?! Where am I, and… what’s that smell?” His nose crinkled at the dingy air.
Jabbing his finger at the sofa, Albus said, “Sit down and shut up! I’m going to tell you everything, but let me bloody talk.”
Not used to hearing such forcefulness from the normally amenable ‘Melinda’, Scorpius complied, glaring at ‘her’ the whole time. “Fine. I’ll listen to your lies again, but these ones had better be less ridiculous than the last.”
Not likely, Albus thought dryly. “Now, this is going to sound bizarre, but I promise you that this is the absolute truth.” When Scorpius raised a brow but didn’t speak, he knew that his new charge would finally shut up long enough to confess. “My name isn’t Melinda Macmillan. I’m an undercover Magical Law Enforcement officer, trying find out what the Knights of Walpurgis are up to.”
Scorpius scoffed. “That would be my luck, wouldn’t it? What, am I going to Azkaban now because I’m a Malfoy?”
“No,” Albus said quickly, annoyed with Scorpius for blaming himself for everything under the sun once again. “You’re here because your life is in danger.”
“Lovely. And just why is that?”
“Because of me,” Albus said, his insides shrivelling at saying it aloud. “The Knights are after you because they figured out that I was passing along information.” Borrowing Greengrass’s words, he said, “Your disagreement with the Knights’ views and values is well-documented. It didn’t take them long to equate your different point of view with you being an accomplice to their new-found mole.”
Pushing himself off the sofa, Scorpius began briskly pacing, nearly pulling his hair by the roots with his fingers. “And here I thought not being one of them would keep me out of trouble. Fat lot of good that did.” He stopped, staring at the ceiling as if he was trying to make it all make sense in his head. Finally, he asked, “Then who are you really?”
Albus was not looking forward to this. Scorpius could have any number of reactions, from disgust to hatred to misery. “My name is Albus Potter.”
“Albus Potter,” Scorpius said contemplatively. “Say, aren’t you…” His eyes bulged as he made the mental connection to a name he hadn’t heard in almost fifteen years. “Please tell me you’re joking, because there is no way you’re that Albus Potter. He’s about four inches taller, and he definitely doesn’t have tits like yours.”
Well, derision was better than most of the alternatives in terms of reaction. He could work with that. “I’ll be changing back in about an hour.” Albus popped his spare Polyjuice pill from his bracelet and held it up for Scorpius to see. “This is the newest innovation in reconnaissance. It’s Polyjuice potion, but it’s refined to last longer and can be turned into powder and therefore into a pill.”
Scorpius took the pill and stared at it. “You mean…this is Melinda? This is all she was? A chunk of dried potion?” He looked saddened by the idea. “She didn’t even exist.”
“She existed, Scorpius. Melinda has always been me. Sure, basic information is different, but everything she was, everything she was to you, is still alive. I know it’s hard to accept, but-“
“Hard to accept?” From the ashes of melancholy arose ire, which made Albus wince. “You’re trying to tell me that it’s hard to accept? I had sex with a man! You tricked me, Potter. You violated me!” Scorpius scrubbed his face with his hands, seemingly desperate to erase some invisible stain. “This can’t even be happening.”
Considering the emotional blow that it was to both of them, Albus was actually happy that Scorpius was angry. He could deal with that. “Look, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but I had no other options.”
Eyes darkening, Scorpius glared at Albus. “So I’m just collateral damage then? Some pawn in your twisted little game with an organisation that I have nothing to do with?”
“Not anymore!” Albus retorted, desperate to make his case. “Yes, Melinda was a lie, but everything else was real. It literally made me sick sometimes, knowing what I was doing to you. You’ll probably never believe it, but it’s the truth. I’d swear to it on Veritaserum if you asked me to.”
“Are you saying…”
Albus took a deep breath, hoping he had the bollocks to just get it out. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying. I don’t know how or why, but somewhere in this whole mess of shit, I fell in love with you. It wasn’t her, and it never was. When I said it to you that night, I meant it, and may lightning strike me dead right now if I lied.” Almost challengingly, Albus spread his arms wide, as if daring the heavens to call him a liar.
Scorpius flopped back onto the couch, trying not to look at Albus. “But you’re not gay. You dated girls back in school, and weren’t you seeing that ugly wench Wendy Smith about a year ago?”
“She wasn’t ugly,” Albus said defensively. “She was just… different. Plus, she was definitely not as ugly as Amanda Porter.” Ignoring Scorpius’s glare, he continued. “And no, I wasn’t gay. I don’t even think I am now. I react the same way to beautiful women as you do. I just… I don’t want them, I want you.” Something else occurred to him. “Wait a minute. How do you know so much about me? I barely knew your name from school. I don’t think I’d even talked to you before.”
Shaking his head like he was addressing an idiot, Scorpius said, “You’re a Potter. Everyone who wants to be anyone knows your business better than you do. How the hell do you not know that by now?”
“Then I suppose that makes us even.”
“No, it certainly does not. You know everything about me, not just what the society pages say.”
Was that an invitation, or was that simply an observation? Albus decided to test the waters. “Ashley Crane.”
“What?” Scorpius was genuinely baffled.
“Ashley Crane was my first. It was the end of our seventh-year, and N.E.W.T.s had just finished. She was hot, and I really wanted to lose my virginity before James, because he was always bragging that he was better with the ladies because he played Quidditch. Not only did I beat him to it, he had to settle for Helen Markle just to catch up. Now we’re even.” Albus couldn’t believe that he had just confessed to all of that. It was definitely not a point of pride so much as a character defining moment - or lack of character.
Casting Albus a sideways glance, Scorpius said, “Ashley Crane? Yeah, she was hot.” Looking back down at his hands, Scorpius asked, “What do you want from me? What is it that I’m supposed to do?”
Flopping down next to Scorpius, Albus said, “I don’t know. It’s not like I have the right to, anyway. You’re too good for someone like me.”
“Probably.”
The atmosphere was very tense between them. Scorpius was uncomfortable with their proximity, and Albus was starting to feel the effects of wearing uncomfortable clothing for an extended period. At last, he snapped. “I fucking hate this!”
“How do you think I feel?” Scorpius said, misinterpreting Albus’s frustration.
“Not that. This-“ Albus reached down back of his dress to un-do the hooks of his bra, “-damned thing is driving me spare.” He managed to work it free without exposing himself, subsequently chucking the offensive item across the room. “I hate being a girl. I want to eat whatever I want, scratch my bollocks when I feel like, and drink sodding beer instead of that damned poof juice!”
The cast-off garment captivated Scorpius. He stared at it for quite some time, and after a while, a tear slipped down his cheek. “This really is all happening, isn’t it?”
Albus felt his annoyance with his undergarments disappear. Scorpius looked so bereft, like he had just seen someone he loved die. And, in a way, he had. Albus vowed to himself that no matter what, he would never, ever become Melinda again, even if it got him sacked. There was just too much caught up in that person that he had to try to shut out of his mind, because it was rapidly becoming obvious that Scorpius would never love him like he loved her. “Yeah,” he said finally. “I know you’ll probably never believe it, but being with you made it worth it.”
Again, there was a period of silence. Scorpius stared at the floor, while Albus lolled his head back, glaring daggers at the ceiling. There was so much that Albus wanted to say, but he didn’t really host the illusion that Scorpius wanted to hear it. But that didn’t mean that watching the person he loved brood in abject misery didn’t tear his heart from his chest.
Quietly, Albus got up and wandered into his bedroom to change before he transformed back into himself. The only thing he had that would stay on the slender female curves was a pair of pyjama bottoms and an undershirt. He would need his glasses, as well, but his regular pair was at the hotel. All he had was a more ‘stylish’ pair, which Lily had given him for his thirtieth birthday in an effort to smarten him up. Considering how much he actually cared about rot like that, they had never even been worn.
His reflection amused him. The over-sized clothing made him look like he was about to make the walk of shame after an overnight shag. Hopefully, though, it would be the last time he would see that hated brown hair and the loathsome brown eyes that weren’t his. If Scorpius never loved him back, then so be it, but it was preferable to living in this shell of deceit, no matter how happy it had made him to have that little bit of time.
Almost without warning, pain gripped Albus. He knew it was his true form coming back. Normally, he slept through the process and didn’t really feel it, apart from a slew of weird dreams, but this time, he didn’t have that option. It felt like his bones were being disconnected at the joints and his skin was too slow to accommodate. As much as he tried not to, he cried out.
In the far reaches of his consciousness, he heard the door open and an arm wrapping around his shoulders to keep him from hitting the floor. That arm guided Albus to the edge of the bed, where he laid down, eyes squeezed shut, as his body became his own again. He had expected Scorpius to leave after that, but he had stayed, hand on Albus’s shoulder.
When the tide of agony ebbed, Albus opened his eyes. Once again, everything was a blur without his glasses. He ran his hands down his face, feeling a day’s worth of stubble. Heartened, he went further down, finding that his chest was no longer inflated and that, even lower, his proper genitalia was normal once more. He sighed in relief. The pain was gone, and so was Melinda. This was who he would be for the rest of his life, and he was happy to be there.
He felt Scorpius put his glasses into his hand, and he blindly shoved them onto his face. Now that his vision was clear, Albus looked over to his probably uncomfortable companion and gave him a weak smile. “Thanks.”
Instead of the robotically polite ‘You’re welcome’ Albus had expected, Scorpius said, “I believe you, Potter. I think you’re being honest when you said how you feel. I don’t even think I’m angry about being lied to anymore, because I know why you did it. I would probably have done the same in your place. It’s just that… I don’t know if I can feel the same about you.”
“I know,” Albus said. “I’m not going to ask you - and I wouldn’t have the right anyway - but I just wanted you to know that not a second went by that your feelings being hurt didn’t bother me. I hope you know that.”
Scorpius nodded, then looked down at his hands, which were clenched in his lap. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I loved her. I’ve never loved anyone before, and I think I’ll miss her every day, or at least until I’m too old and barmy to remember.”
Albus knew how that felt all too well. He touched Scorpius’s forearm, who flinched at the contact but didn’t pull away. “I did that to you, and I’m sorry. Really, I am.”
After a while, Scorpius asked, “Potter, tell me something. When did you know? What made you decide?”
It was hard for Albus to think about, but considering everything, Scorpius deserved to know. “I knew I wanted to shag you the moment we sat on the couch, but I realised I loved you when you looked down at me with that look in your eye, like I was the only person in the world who mattered. It was then when I knew that my reaction to you wasn’t just some freak side effect of having a woman’s body to contend with.” He almost didn’t dare ask, but Albus wanted to know. “You?”
Upon consideration, he almost wished he hadn’t said anything, but Scorpius was surprisingly willing to share. “I think it was when I was shopping for the necklace. I was trying to pick the one that would look the least ugly next to how beautiful Melinda was, but then when I thought about it, I knew that I didn’t care about that. She could have worn gorgeous gowns or stupidly inappropriate Halloween dresses or even oversized pyjamas, and I wouldn’t have felt any differently about her. She could have looked like a Hippogriff’s arse end and it wouldn’t have mattered to me by that point.
“So I chose the emerald, because there was something about the colour green that reminded me of her. It just seemed right, thus making my decision far simpler.”
It would have been delusional at that point for Albus to think that the preference for green was in any way a reference to his eye colour. He knew that, but deep down, he really wanted Scorpius to like him in some way, even if he would never actually love him. “It was really nice. I was afraid I would lose it or ruin it, so I put it in my vault. When all of this is over, I’ll give it back.”
Shaking his head, Scorpius said, “No. I'd really rather never see it again. Do whatever you want; give it to your sister, that madwoman you call a cousin, or whatever. I don't care.”
“Yes, you do,” Albus said. He knew Scorpius well enough to know that he was indeed attached to that necklace, but he didn't want to show it. “What do you really want me to do with it?”
Scorpius regarded Albus carefully, as if gauging a potential reaction. And for good reason. “I want you to keep it. I wanted Melinda to have it, and since she isn't real - except she is, because she's you - I want her to have it. So I suppose that means you should have it.”
“Okay. I'll take care of it, and that's a promise.” Albus looked away, because it was right about then that Scorpius would be embarrassed that he'd asked such a thing. To shift the dynamics a bit, he said, “You're keeping the broom, I hope.”
“Of course. Unless you want it back.”
Albus shook his head. “I can barely fly on an old broom. Something like that would probably get me killed. Besides, I knew you played and thought you would like it.”
An awkward quiet rose between them. There was a myriad of issues between them, and they were doing their level best to skirt around them. Albus was desperate to know that Scorpius felt something for him that wasn't disgust or annoyance, but he kept on bringing up things that couldn't possibly be relevant at the moment.
This time, it was Scorpius who ended the stand-off. “This is ridiculous. We're sitting here, acting like we don't even know one another. If we're going to be stuck here, it can't go on like this.” He squinted and leant toward Albus. “Your eyes are green.”
“So I noticed,” Albus said, wondering where this was going.
Seemingly in thought, Scorpius asked, “Favourite colour?”
“Green.”
“How many N.E.W.T.s?”
“Five.”
“Butterbeer or pumpkin juice?”
“Neither. I prefer water.”
“What is your family like?”
Now this question was far more complex. Albus considered it a minute before he responded. “They are a collection of rabble-rousing gingers who get together every holiday, only to spend most of it bickering over stupid things. I think my Aunt Hermione is the most normal of the bunch, and my Uncle Percy reminds me so much of Professor Vector that it's positively terrifying.”
“No, I mean your immediate family. What is it like to have a mum and dad that aren't completely mental? Did you ever wish that you didn't have to go home for holidays.”
“Sometimes. The summer my dad's godson Teddy got killed, I wanted to go back to Hogwarts because I refused to acknowledge that it happened. My parents fought a lot that year, and both of them were really different after that. That's also when my brother and I stopped getting on so well.”
Scorpius stared at the floor. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up.”
“No, it’s all right,” Albus said. “What's done is done. After a much-needed dust-up, we're okay now. Dad'll probably never be the same, but he can talk about Teddy now, whereas after it happened, he would get all dark and moody when someone mentioned anything that might have even sounded like Teddy's name.”
Appeased, Scorpius said, “They still sound nice, though, your family. I wish I'd had family that could forgive and forget. My father and grandfather will always think that they're superior because they're Malfoys and pure-blooded, and I'm not even going to start on my mother. Your family fights because they care, but mine... they don't even talk.”
“I guess so,” Albus said. Scorpius had never mentioned any of that before, but he was glad that he knew. It meant that he was opening up to the idea of being cordial with Albus and not just coolly civil, which was definitely a step in the right direction.
For hours after, they discussed any and every menial thing that they could think of, always steering far away from talking about their prior relationship. Albus found himself telling Scorpius things that he could scarcely bear to admit to himself. It felt good for him to become as familiar to Scorpius as Melinda had been, and after a while, he was even more so. The wall had broken, so perhaps down the line, they could be more.
But for the time being, Albus was happy. They were safe, and they were okay. Not great... just okay.
23 June, 2039
They couldn’t stay locked up in there forever. At some point, either Albus or Scorpius had to venture out, if not for food then for a chance to get away from the stale air in the neglected flat. Great issue had been taken as to who would get to leave first, but Albus had won that argument.
“Please tell me you’re still going to be here when I get back,” Albus said, dubious about leaving Scorpius alone. He could very well do a runner the moment Albus left.
Annoyed, Scorpius said, “I said I wouldn’t. Besides, where would I go when there are dozens of ex-Death Eaters trying to get me? Maybe I’ll just go for a little stroll through Diagon Alley. Merlin, Potter, how stupid do you think I am?”
“Oh, don’t turn this back on me!” Albus snapped. “You were the one bitching not an hour ago about not having a change of clothes. You know you can’t go back to your flat, especially not for something so utterly unimportant.”
Rolling his eyes, Scorpius said, “Well, maybe if you dressed like a civilised human being and not a homeless person, I could borrow some of yours.”
“Merlin’s twisted knickers, are you on about that again?” Truthfully, Albus didn’t mind bickering with Scorpius. It gave him something to think about other than the fact that they were in danger should they ever stray from those walls. “Just please don’t do anything foolish.”
Hoping that Scorpius would turn out to be far more reasonable than he was letting on, Albus Apparated to the Ministry. He needed to fill in Jenkins on what had happened in the past few days, plus arrange a more hospitable safe house for Scorpius. If they were both left penned up, they’d likely tear each other apart out of sheer boredom if nothing else.
Without waiting to announce his arrival, Albus stalked into Jenkins’s office. He could not quite prepare himself for what he saw there. In conference was no less than three confirmed or suspected Knights, laughing and joking with Jenkins like old friends. When they noticed Albus, the room became quiet.
Slowly, the pieces all began falling into place. There had been an operative inside the Ministry who held a high position. Even after all the information Albus provided, only a couple token arrests with no consequences were made. Now that he thought about it, it was all so ridiculously clear, and he’d missed it. “So it’s you then. You’re the mole.” The door was closed behind Albus by a non-verbal spell, and one of the Knights cast a Silencing Charm around the room. That gave him all the answer he needed.
“You never were very quick on the uptake, Potter.” Jenkins’s voice was ripe with disdain. “Why do you think I gave you this job in the first place?”
Albus was frozen. The whole truth hit him like a ton of bricks. Harry had said something about Jenkins putting someone on the case, hence ending the Auror Department’s involvement in Knight activity. Scorpius had mentioned that a Ministry take-over had always been the plan. Greengrass had told him to trust no-one and just hide. “You can’t seriously think this will work, can you? You want to snuff out the Minister and blame it on a couple of known radicals based on the information that I gave you, thereby giving you the right to avenge our beloved leader. The people will be looking for a hero, and they’ll happen to have you handy, there to give them back their security.”
Actually, the plan was brilliant, only Scorpius and Greengrass, who gave him information he wasn’t supposed to have, had unintentionally foiled it. Now that he had bearded the proverbial lion in its den, he was fairly certain that he had a slim chance of leaving the room unharmed. Playing things by ear had never been a strong suit of his, which is probably why he had been the rather unfortunate crux of the Knights’ scheme.
“So,” Albus said weakly, “I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me what happens now.” If he could get them to admit to anything, he would have at least a slim chance of getting a message to Scorpius to run for his life. If he had to die for that to happen, then that was how it would be. No matter how much of a joke Jenkins had made of his career in law enforcement, Albus had still vowed to protect the innocent with every last breath in his body. That resolve had never been tested to that point, but he was almost surprised that he had the bollocks to see it through.
“Oh, I’m definitely going to enjoy killing you,” Jenkins sneered. “All of your insipid drooling about the Malfoy boy, as if I wouldn’t notice you were half in love with him. Perhaps a lovers’ quarrel double-homicide would be the correct course of action.”
“Don’t touch him!” Albus growled. Even if they tore him to pieces, he would be damned if they would harm one hair on Scorpius’s head. He’d take them all on if he had to.
Jenkins laughed cruelly. “My point exactly. You are just too easy, Potter. Too easy.”
There was no way Albus was going to let them get away with anything. Closing his eyes, focussing on his sweetest and fondest memories, he clenched his hand around his wand, ready to cast the most important spell of his life. Remarkably clear-headed, he aimed his wand north-east in the direction of his flat and bellowed, “EXPECTO PATRONUM!”
A luminescent frog leaped out from a cloud of silver smoke and disappeared through the door. It would tell Scorpius what he knew and to run for it, and he would do his best to make sure that he got a chance to do so. Once the spell had been cast, Albus turned back to the four furious Knights, all of whom were armed and willing to kill him.
His Shield Charm was barely cast in time to deflect two Stunners and two other curses that he didn’t recognise. They seemed willing to let him live for the moment, even if it wasn’t for any other reason than to set up their false double murder. Even if he was outnumbered and categorically doomed, though, Albus wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of taking him down without a fight.
All of his efforts were concentrated on pure defence, but Albus knew he was eventually going to lose. What kept his resolve up was the thought that every second of their time that he wasted was one more second of a head start that Scorpius would have to escape these maniacs. Even as the raw frequency of his shield weakened it each time he cast it, he wasn’t going to give up until they started using the one curse that couldn’t be stopped.
Nearly exhausted, Albus was too slow in protecting himself, allowing a purple jet of light to hit him square in the chest. Pain the likes of which he had never experienced buffeted every last nerve in his body like fire ravaging a forest. His cries of agony were drowned out in his own ears by the roar of the fire that was cascading through him. He felt like his very bones were ready to melt under the intensity.
But just as soon as it started, it started to ease. The sounds in the room began to trickle back into his brain, and he could sense a newcomer to the room. Everything was still very hazy, but Albus felt himself being dragged away by someone who was swearing profusely. Though it was impossible, the voice reminded him of Scorpius, who was likely far away from London. The idea of it gave him peace of mind, which allowed the darkness that had been lurking around the perimeter of his mind to win over and he could finally sleep.
Albus had no idea how long he was out, but when he started to regain consciousness, he wished he hadn’t. His body hurt everywhere. Even his hair hurt. This distracted him for a while before he figured out that there were no more curses flying around him. Then he vaguely recalled someone pulling him away from the fight. He hoped that his benefactor was still around.
In an ill-advised effort to see where the hell he was, Albus sat bolt upright. The room started spinning, and he felt like vomiting. A bucket was placed under his chin so he could empty the contents of his stomach somewhere besides all over himself. When he was finished, he was pushed back down onto his pillows and-
Pillows? Where the hell was he? This time, he was far more careful, slowly opening his eyes. His glasses were gone, so he couldn’t see properly, but he could recognise that platinum blond hair anywhere. “W-why are you here? It’s not safe.”
Scorpius chucked. “We’re about as safe as we can get. We’re at your parents’ house.”
As the fog lifted, Albus jerked his head toward Scorpius. “But… what happened?” Somehow, his plan to give Scorpius time to get away had been dangerously uprooted.
“When I got your Patronus, I knew what you were trying to do. There was no way I was leaving you to die there. I sent an owl to your dad, giving him a place to meet up with us, should either of us get out of this stupid fiasco alive. I managed to catch them by surprise and Disarm all but one of them, and after that, it was actually fairly easy to get away. I managed to get you to your father, and we’ve been here ever since.” As if he realised something that he’d forgotten, Scorpius reached into his pocket and placed Albus’s glasses - the ones he preferred - onto his face. “Better?”
“Please don’t say you went back to the hotel.”
“I didn’t go by myself, if that’s what you’re asking. Between when your mum threw me out for thinking I was one of your attackers to when your dad finally convinced her that I wasn’t one of the Knights, I had some spare time. Your other ones were broken.”
Albus smiled at the mental image of his mother railing at Scorpius. “Sorry ‘bout that.”
Shaking his head, Scorpius said, “No need to apologise. She loves you and had every right not to trust me. Considering my grandfather and even my own mother were implicated in Jenkins’s confession, it’s a natural assumption.”
“Wait, what?” Albus was shocked. What purpose could Jenkins selling out his cohorts possibly serve? It would earn him no friends in Azkaban.
The corner of his mouth twitching, Scorpius clarified. “Oh, your father may or may not have slipped and splashed some Veritaserum Jenkins’s way. It was quite informative, and he’s off with his Aurors, rounding up every last one of them.”
“But that’s illegal!” Albus was in disbelief that his father would have such blatant disregard for the law.
“I would have done a hell of a lot worse if I’d got a hold of them first.” Scorpius’s eyes darkened. “If you could have seen the look in his eyes…”
Almost in awe of Scorpius, Albus asked the question that had been in his mind since he had been told what happened. “Why did you come back for me? All you had to do was run, and you would have been shot of me for good. No more uncomfortable reminders of everything, no more putting up with the idea that a bloke is stupidly in love with you…why?”
“Oh, I considered it,” Scorpius admitted, “but only for a few seconds. When I thought about you, that you would let yourself be slaughtered just so I might be able to get away, I knew that I would never be able to live with myself if anything happened to you. It didn’t take long to figure out where you were, and the rest you know.”
Rubbing his throbbing temples, Albus asked, “What the hell curse was that anyway?”
Scorpius glowered. “Your dad said it was a Burning Curse. He’d seen it once before, and I think it was the memory of it that set him off.”
That sounded very much like Harry, which made Albus smile to himself. “Thank you for coming back. Even though I’m right pissed that you did, thank you.”
“Potter…” Scorpius said before amending, “Albus, I think I need to tell you something.”
Worried that someone else had been hurt, Albus was anxious to know what this ‘something’ was. “Is everyone okay?”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. You’re injured enough for everyone. I was talking about something else.” Scorpius closed his eyes, as if collecting his thoughts privately before proceeding. “There was a point while you were out that it wasn’t certain whether you were going to make it.”
Albus had no idea where this was going. “Okay,” he said tentatively, hoping to spur on something a bit more enlightening.
“That gave me time to think about a lot of things. First, there was the fact that I’m probably damaged beyond words for any serious relationship. Then there’s the fact that my mother and grandfather are traitors, and I’ll be lucky if I have an inheritance now. But the one that struck me the most was how much the idea of you dying made me sick inside.”
“Are you saying…” Albus didn’t dare hope that Scorpius had somehow had a change of heart, not to mention sexuality.
“What I’m saying, Potter, is that I care about you. I don’t know what that means at the moment, because we have the most fucked up thing going on between us and it’s more complicated than I know how to deal with. But I suppose what I mean is that I don’t think I could go the rest of my life without knowing whether it was you I fell in love with or if it was really Melinda. I would like the opportunity to find that out.”
His jaw hanging slack, Albus stuttered, “Sure... I mean, if you want to, but don't feel like you have to for-“ He never finished his sentence as Scorpius cut him off with a searing kiss. It caught him off guard, but it didn't take long to remember that hint of peppermint and a flavour that belonged solely to Scorpius. It felt just as good and right as it had when he was under the effects of the Polyjuice pills.
Finally tearing his lips away, Scorpius was breathless. “You taste the same. How is that possible?”
Shrugging, Albus said, “No idea. I suppose I should let the boys in Intel know that the pills aren't effective on everything.”
Scorpius nodded absently, seemingly in deep contemplation. Albus would have given anything to know what was going on inside his head at that moment. He wanted so badly for Scorpius to declare that he was still interested, but it would have been the height of delusion to expect it to actually happen. That was probably why Albus nearly flinched when his lips were again occupied.
If possible, this kiss was even sweeter than the first, because there was no sense of hesitation or doubt. Albus felt himself melting back into the pillows as Scorpius leant in closer for just that much more added contact.
A throat clearing in the background interrupted an otherwise perfect moment. They both turned to see James, who was trying his best not to smirk. “Mum told me you'd been cursed or something. I came by to see how you were doing. I guess I should have asked who you were doing first.”
Albus glared, “Go to hell, James. It's none of your business.”
James looked ready to retort, but Scorpius stood up. “I should probably talk to your father sometime soon to see if he needs me for any more information. I'll leave you two alone.” As he left, he passed by James, whispering just loud enough for Albus to hear, “Helen Markle.”
Turning red, James glowered as Scorpius walked away looking like the cat that had swallowed the canary. His little brother, however, had nowhere to hide. “What the hell is wrong with you? Malfoy? Really?!”
“As I said, James, it's none of your business who I'm snogging. Now, if you could be so kind as to act like an adult when he's around, I'd really appreciate it.” Albus hated the defensive tone in his voice, but the last person who had room to judge him for anything was James.
“Weren't you dating Wendy Smith? You know... the ugly one. Bit of a downgrade after the Ashley Crane feat. Then again, Malfoy's kind of pretty for a bloke, so maybe you're not so-“
“For the love of Merlin, she wasn't ugly! Besides, she was really good at... other things. And isn't it some sort of character flaw to judge people by how they look?” If anyone could be an authority on the subject, Albus was definitely it.
Scoffing, James said, “No, it's not, and - wait a minute! Since when did you start being gay?”
“I'm not, as far as I can tell. I just... like him. I like a nice pair of tits as well as you do. Just not when they're on me.” At James's confusion, he gave a brief synopsis of his months’ long assignment.
“So, he fell for you as a girl, and now that you're a guy again, he still fancies you? Maybe a Malfoy can really change his spots.”
Albus wasn't very strong at the moment, but he had enough in him to punch his brother in the arm. “I don't suppose it would kill you to be happy for me, would it?”
“Murder, little brother. It would be murder.” James ruffled Albus's hair and darted away before the fist that was careening toward his face could make contact. “I'll leave you two alone. Get well soon so Mum can go back to yelling at the wireless instead of wearing a hole in the kitchen floor with her maniacal pacing.”
As James left the room, Albus laid back, thinking about everything that had happened, starting with that day in Diagon Alley and really veering into the realm of the bizarre at the Halloween Masque. When he had been given the assignment, he had known it would be difficult, but he had no idea how much it would really change his life.
And he believed it was for the better, but when Scorpius came back in and gave him a lazy smile, he knew it for sure.
“How could you have let this happen, Potter? You just threw away seven months of work!”
Jenkins angrily slapped a copy of the previous day’s Daily Prophet onto his desk, complete with the front-page article that Albus had already seen. It gushed on and on about the scandalous break-up between society’s favourite young couple. Most of it was provided by a cleaning lady at the hotel who had heard some of their argument as she was passing by, plus some of the eyewitnesses form the ill-fated exit from the Victory Day ball at the Bletchleys’.
Rubbing his face in his hands, Jenkins groaned. “How long do you think it’ll take before they figure out that there is no real Melinda Macmillan? These people aren’t that bloody stupid.”
“Don’t you think I know that!” Albus snapped, nearly forgetting that he would have normally preferred being flayed than to speak to his supervisor like that. “There’s nothing I can do about it. He’s gone, and now I’m stuck.”
If possible, Jenkins was even more frustrated. “Do you at least have something?”
The dire mood lifted somewhat as Albus related what Hornby had told him about things changing and whatever drivel had come along with it. While it had been interesting and pertinent at the time, Albus couldn’t bring himself to give a damn. All he could think of was what Scorpius had said. He had truly not believed that it wasn’t something he’d done wrong. He just wouldn’t see that Albus was the villain, the bastard, the liar, the-
“Wait a minute!” Finally remembering Scorpius’s offhand remark about the Knights, Albus said, “Scorpius said something about the Knights! He was banging on about… some things, and he said something about them planning a Ministry takeover.” He couldn’t believe that he’d forgotten something so vital, but if any of it was true, perhaps it wasn’t too late to stop it.
Instead of looking excited or at least happy to have such a crucial piece of news, Jenkins blanched. “Are you sure that’s what you heard? Are you completely sure?”
When Albus nodded, Jenkins started muttering to himself. This went on for nearly five minutes before the latter said, “Lay low for a while, but if you can, try to find out some more. We may just salvage this whole thing yet.”
21 June, 2039
Albus found himself yet again in the familiar routine of applying a beastly amount of make-up and putting on yet another air-restricting dress for the sake of his job. To his surprise, two weeks before, he had received an invitation to the Montagues’ Solstice party to celebrate the coming of summer. It was a completely ridiculous reason to hold an event, but he suspected it was more about parents having one last bit of fun before their kids came back from Hogwarts.
Really, Albus just suspected it was going to end up being people trying to get him and Scorpius near one another for some entertainment. As much as this made him not want to go, he knew he had to. He’d already done enough damage by not being careful, so he would have to tread lightly this time around.
He was running very late, mostly because he didn’t have the advantage of someone to pick him up an hour early for every engagement. Also, he couldn’t be bothered to care what anyone thought about Melinda anymore. He still hated her. If he never had to swallow another Polyjuice pill, it would be too soon.
Finally, when Albus arrived, it was just as he suspected. There were not-so-discreet whispers from all around the room, and most of the ones he could make out were speculative of why ‘she’ and Scorpius had split. They’d had almost two months to postulate, but neither of them had given anyone an answer. It was Albus’s fervent wish that they not get one, either. The last thing he needed was to be called to Jenkins’s office and fired on the spot. Plus, that would necessitate a rather uncomfortable run-in with Scorpius. No matter how much time had passed, he still wasn’t ready to see that look of disdain again anytime soon.
Within five minutes, ‘Melinda’ had already been monopolised on the dance floor by anyone and everyone looking to pump ‘her’ for information about the gossip columns’ current favourite subject. It gave Albus satisfaction to thwart their efforts, since it really wasn’t any of their business anyway. That had become the normal conversation until one of the last of the night, and that was with Greengrass.
“I see you talked to Hornby. I’m sure Jenkins was happy with that little nugget.”
Gobsmacked, Albus froze on the spot. “I… I have no idea what you mean, Mr Greengrass. Who is Jenkins?”
Bowing showily as if the dance was completed normally, Greengrass said under his breath, “Outside. Five minutes. Rose garden.”
Nodding, Albus could only stare in confusion as Greengrass melted away in the crowd. What the hell was he talking about, and how much did he know about Jenkins? How did he know? There really was no other option than to comply.
As instructed, Albus was in the rose garden five minutes later. The second they were within five feet of one another, Greengrass cast a Silencing Charm around them. He looked around for anyone watching and said, “Disillusion yourself. We can’t be seen.”
Still in the dark, Albus did as he was told. This man apparently needed to say something damned important, and it seemed to be crucial that no one else hear it. And he was tired of being ordered around. “What the hell are you on about, anyway?”
“I know you’re working for the Ministry, and I’m pretty sure I know who you are, as well.”
Albus’s breath seized in his chest. “I have no idea what you mean. Why would I be working for the Ministry?”
“You can stop with the ruse, Potter. Both of us know there is no Melinda Macmillan.”
There was definitely something off about this whole thing, and Albus wanted to know what it was. “Are you really Richard Greengrass?”
“Of course, you fool! Don’t you ever pay attention?” At Albus’s silence, he harrumphed. “I’ve been working with the Ministry for years, providing information on the Knights, and you’ve read my reports for the past five years under the name ‘Michael Millegan’. Why do you think I told you to talk to Hornby?”
Recognising the name, thus confirming Greengrass’s veracity, Albus said, “I just thought you were a dotty old man that hated his grandson’s girlfriend enough to send her to a lecherous old bastard. Not that I blame you, though.”
“That’s why I wanted to talk to you, Potter. I’m worried about my grandson.”
With a sigh, Albus said, “Yeah, I know I broke his heart. Don’t think for a second that I don’t already feel like shit for that, but there was no other way.”
Another grunt of annoyance told Albus that it wasn’t what Greengrass had meant. “Not that. You’ve got bigger problems.”
“How so?” Albus couldn’t think of anything at the moment worse than wrecking both his and Scorpius’s life.
“They’re after you.”
They’re after you. Albus was sure that this could only mean one thing. The Knights had somehow worked out who he was. How they did that was beyond him, but Greengrass wouldn’t have risked his cover if there weren’t any true danger. “How?”
“A month ago, when Hornby and Lucius Malfoy were arrested for conspiracy, even though they were released because of lack of evidence, that tipped them off that there was someone on the inside. The first thing they did was look at anyone new in town, and who should burst onto the social scene than the perfect little pure-blood girl. It didn’t take them long to make the connection.”
“Shit,” Albus said. His invitation hadn’t been a plot for gossip; it had been a trap, and who knew when they were going to strike. “I need to get out of here.” But then he remembered what Greengrass had said about why he wanted to talk. “What does this have to do with Scorpius?”
Greengrass’s tone said under no uncertain terms that he thought Albus was far too slow on the uptake. “Scorpius’s disagreement with the Knights’ values and views is well documented. And then when they make the connection between him and their suspected mole, what does your ever-so-keen mind tell you about what they’re going to think next?”
“They think he’s in on it.” Albus didn’t need an answer to know that he’d finally caught on to what he was being told. Had it not been such a ridiculously dangerous situation, he would have laughed at the fact that he was capable of hurting Scorpius even after they hadn’t seen one another in nearly two months. “What do you want me to do about it? He won’t even talk to me.”
“Merlin, Potter. For someone with your genetics and resume, you are a complete idiot. You need to take him somewhere and hide, and don’t take ‘no’ for an answer!”
Of course, Greengrass was right. Albus needed to disappear. Scorpius needed to disappear. It would only make sense for them to do so together. All he needed was some way to do it without being caught and without being noticed. “I need help.”
“Well, that’s bloody obvious.” Lowering his Disillusionment Charm, Greengrass said, “Don’t go to the Ministry, because they have someone on the inside, and you can’t be sure who that is. You stay here, and stay invisible. I’ll have him come out here. Body-bind him, turn him into a cat - whatever you have to do - but get him out of here!” He started to walk away but mouthed over his shoulder, “Trust no one.” With that, he was gone.
Albus racked his brain for the kindest of detention spells, but fieldwork had never been his speciality. It looked like it was going to be a Body-bind and a Silencing Charm. When the time came, it went off without a hitch. As soon as they were off the grounds, Albus Apparated both of them to the first place he could think of where no one would look for either of them, and that was at his own flat, which had not been lived in for months. It smelt of disuse and slightly of mould, but he had a feeling that he wasn’t going to notice it once Scorpius was released.
With a flick of his wand, Albus cast a non-verbal ‘Finite Incantatem’, allowing Scorpius to start the rant that had no doubt been burning to get out. He did not disappoint.
“What in the name of Merlin is this about?! Where am I, and… what’s that smell?” His nose crinkled at the dingy air.
Jabbing his finger at the sofa, Albus said, “Sit down and shut up! I’m going to tell you everything, but let me bloody talk.”
Not used to hearing such forcefulness from the normally amenable ‘Melinda’, Scorpius complied, glaring at ‘her’ the whole time. “Fine. I’ll listen to your lies again, but these ones had better be less ridiculous than the last.”
Not likely, Albus thought dryly. “Now, this is going to sound bizarre, but I promise you that this is the absolute truth.” When Scorpius raised a brow but didn’t speak, he knew that his new charge would finally shut up long enough to confess. “My name isn’t Melinda Macmillan. I’m an undercover Magical Law Enforcement officer, trying find out what the Knights of Walpurgis are up to.”
Scorpius scoffed. “That would be my luck, wouldn’t it? What, am I going to Azkaban now because I’m a Malfoy?”
“No,” Albus said quickly, annoyed with Scorpius for blaming himself for everything under the sun once again. “You’re here because your life is in danger.”
“Lovely. And just why is that?”
“Because of me,” Albus said, his insides shrivelling at saying it aloud. “The Knights are after you because they figured out that I was passing along information.” Borrowing Greengrass’s words, he said, “Your disagreement with the Knights’ views and values is well-documented. It didn’t take them long to equate your different point of view with you being an accomplice to their new-found mole.”
Pushing himself off the sofa, Scorpius began briskly pacing, nearly pulling his hair by the roots with his fingers. “And here I thought not being one of them would keep me out of trouble. Fat lot of good that did.” He stopped, staring at the ceiling as if he was trying to make it all make sense in his head. Finally, he asked, “Then who are you really?”
Albus was not looking forward to this. Scorpius could have any number of reactions, from disgust to hatred to misery. “My name is Albus Potter.”
“Albus Potter,” Scorpius said contemplatively. “Say, aren’t you…” His eyes bulged as he made the mental connection to a name he hadn’t heard in almost fifteen years. “Please tell me you’re joking, because there is no way you’re that Albus Potter. He’s about four inches taller, and he definitely doesn’t have tits like yours.”
Well, derision was better than most of the alternatives in terms of reaction. He could work with that. “I’ll be changing back in about an hour.” Albus popped his spare Polyjuice pill from his bracelet and held it up for Scorpius to see. “This is the newest innovation in reconnaissance. It’s Polyjuice potion, but it’s refined to last longer and can be turned into powder and therefore into a pill.”
Scorpius took the pill and stared at it. “You mean…this is Melinda? This is all she was? A chunk of dried potion?” He looked saddened by the idea. “She didn’t even exist.”
“She existed, Scorpius. Melinda has always been me. Sure, basic information is different, but everything she was, everything she was to you, is still alive. I know it’s hard to accept, but-“
“Hard to accept?” From the ashes of melancholy arose ire, which made Albus wince. “You’re trying to tell me that it’s hard to accept? I had sex with a man! You tricked me, Potter. You violated me!” Scorpius scrubbed his face with his hands, seemingly desperate to erase some invisible stain. “This can’t even be happening.”
Considering the emotional blow that it was to both of them, Albus was actually happy that Scorpius was angry. He could deal with that. “Look, I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, but I had no other options.”
Eyes darkening, Scorpius glared at Albus. “So I’m just collateral damage then? Some pawn in your twisted little game with an organisation that I have nothing to do with?”
“Not anymore!” Albus retorted, desperate to make his case. “Yes, Melinda was a lie, but everything else was real. It literally made me sick sometimes, knowing what I was doing to you. You’ll probably never believe it, but it’s the truth. I’d swear to it on Veritaserum if you asked me to.”
“Are you saying…”
Albus took a deep breath, hoping he had the bollocks to just get it out. “Yes, that’s what I’m saying. I don’t know how or why, but somewhere in this whole mess of shit, I fell in love with you. It wasn’t her, and it never was. When I said it to you that night, I meant it, and may lightning strike me dead right now if I lied.” Almost challengingly, Albus spread his arms wide, as if daring the heavens to call him a liar.
Scorpius flopped back onto the couch, trying not to look at Albus. “But you’re not gay. You dated girls back in school, and weren’t you seeing that ugly wench Wendy Smith about a year ago?”
“She wasn’t ugly,” Albus said defensively. “She was just… different. Plus, she was definitely not as ugly as Amanda Porter.” Ignoring Scorpius’s glare, he continued. “And no, I wasn’t gay. I don’t even think I am now. I react the same way to beautiful women as you do. I just… I don’t want them, I want you.” Something else occurred to him. “Wait a minute. How do you know so much about me? I barely knew your name from school. I don’t think I’d even talked to you before.”
Shaking his head like he was addressing an idiot, Scorpius said, “You’re a Potter. Everyone who wants to be anyone knows your business better than you do. How the hell do you not know that by now?”
“Then I suppose that makes us even.”
“No, it certainly does not. You know everything about me, not just what the society pages say.”
Was that an invitation, or was that simply an observation? Albus decided to test the waters. “Ashley Crane.”
“What?” Scorpius was genuinely baffled.
“Ashley Crane was my first. It was the end of our seventh-year, and N.E.W.T.s had just finished. She was hot, and I really wanted to lose my virginity before James, because he was always bragging that he was better with the ladies because he played Quidditch. Not only did I beat him to it, he had to settle for Helen Markle just to catch up. Now we’re even.” Albus couldn’t believe that he had just confessed to all of that. It was definitely not a point of pride so much as a character defining moment - or lack of character.
Casting Albus a sideways glance, Scorpius said, “Ashley Crane? Yeah, she was hot.” Looking back down at his hands, Scorpius asked, “What do you want from me? What is it that I’m supposed to do?”
Flopping down next to Scorpius, Albus said, “I don’t know. It’s not like I have the right to, anyway. You’re too good for someone like me.”
“Probably.”
The atmosphere was very tense between them. Scorpius was uncomfortable with their proximity, and Albus was starting to feel the effects of wearing uncomfortable clothing for an extended period. At last, he snapped. “I fucking hate this!”
“How do you think I feel?” Scorpius said, misinterpreting Albus’s frustration.
“Not that. This-“ Albus reached down back of his dress to un-do the hooks of his bra, “-damned thing is driving me spare.” He managed to work it free without exposing himself, subsequently chucking the offensive item across the room. “I hate being a girl. I want to eat whatever I want, scratch my bollocks when I feel like, and drink sodding beer instead of that damned poof juice!”
The cast-off garment captivated Scorpius. He stared at it for quite some time, and after a while, a tear slipped down his cheek. “This really is all happening, isn’t it?”
Albus felt his annoyance with his undergarments disappear. Scorpius looked so bereft, like he had just seen someone he loved die. And, in a way, he had. Albus vowed to himself that no matter what, he would never, ever become Melinda again, even if it got him sacked. There was just too much caught up in that person that he had to try to shut out of his mind, because it was rapidly becoming obvious that Scorpius would never love him like he loved her. “Yeah,” he said finally. “I know you’ll probably never believe it, but being with you made it worth it.”
Again, there was a period of silence. Scorpius stared at the floor, while Albus lolled his head back, glaring daggers at the ceiling. There was so much that Albus wanted to say, but he didn’t really host the illusion that Scorpius wanted to hear it. But that didn’t mean that watching the person he loved brood in abject misery didn’t tear his heart from his chest.
Quietly, Albus got up and wandered into his bedroom to change before he transformed back into himself. The only thing he had that would stay on the slender female curves was a pair of pyjama bottoms and an undershirt. He would need his glasses, as well, but his regular pair was at the hotel. All he had was a more ‘stylish’ pair, which Lily had given him for his thirtieth birthday in an effort to smarten him up. Considering how much he actually cared about rot like that, they had never even been worn.
His reflection amused him. The over-sized clothing made him look like he was about to make the walk of shame after an overnight shag. Hopefully, though, it would be the last time he would see that hated brown hair and the loathsome brown eyes that weren’t his. If Scorpius never loved him back, then so be it, but it was preferable to living in this shell of deceit, no matter how happy it had made him to have that little bit of time.
Almost without warning, pain gripped Albus. He knew it was his true form coming back. Normally, he slept through the process and didn’t really feel it, apart from a slew of weird dreams, but this time, he didn’t have that option. It felt like his bones were being disconnected at the joints and his skin was too slow to accommodate. As much as he tried not to, he cried out.
In the far reaches of his consciousness, he heard the door open and an arm wrapping around his shoulders to keep him from hitting the floor. That arm guided Albus to the edge of the bed, where he laid down, eyes squeezed shut, as his body became his own again. He had expected Scorpius to leave after that, but he had stayed, hand on Albus’s shoulder.
When the tide of agony ebbed, Albus opened his eyes. Once again, everything was a blur without his glasses. He ran his hands down his face, feeling a day’s worth of stubble. Heartened, he went further down, finding that his chest was no longer inflated and that, even lower, his proper genitalia was normal once more. He sighed in relief. The pain was gone, and so was Melinda. This was who he would be for the rest of his life, and he was happy to be there.
He felt Scorpius put his glasses into his hand, and he blindly shoved them onto his face. Now that his vision was clear, Albus looked over to his probably uncomfortable companion and gave him a weak smile. “Thanks.”
Instead of the robotically polite ‘You’re welcome’ Albus had expected, Scorpius said, “I believe you, Potter. I think you’re being honest when you said how you feel. I don’t even think I’m angry about being lied to anymore, because I know why you did it. I would probably have done the same in your place. It’s just that… I don’t know if I can feel the same about you.”
“I know,” Albus said. “I’m not going to ask you - and I wouldn’t have the right anyway - but I just wanted you to know that not a second went by that your feelings being hurt didn’t bother me. I hope you know that.”
Scorpius nodded, then looked down at his hands, which were clenched in his lap. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, but I loved her. I’ve never loved anyone before, and I think I’ll miss her every day, or at least until I’m too old and barmy to remember.”
Albus knew how that felt all too well. He touched Scorpius’s forearm, who flinched at the contact but didn’t pull away. “I did that to you, and I’m sorry. Really, I am.”
After a while, Scorpius asked, “Potter, tell me something. When did you know? What made you decide?”
It was hard for Albus to think about, but considering everything, Scorpius deserved to know. “I knew I wanted to shag you the moment we sat on the couch, but I realised I loved you when you looked down at me with that look in your eye, like I was the only person in the world who mattered. It was then when I knew that my reaction to you wasn’t just some freak side effect of having a woman’s body to contend with.” He almost didn’t dare ask, but Albus wanted to know. “You?”
Upon consideration, he almost wished he hadn’t said anything, but Scorpius was surprisingly willing to share. “I think it was when I was shopping for the necklace. I was trying to pick the one that would look the least ugly next to how beautiful Melinda was, but then when I thought about it, I knew that I didn’t care about that. She could have worn gorgeous gowns or stupidly inappropriate Halloween dresses or even oversized pyjamas, and I wouldn’t have felt any differently about her. She could have looked like a Hippogriff’s arse end and it wouldn’t have mattered to me by that point.
“So I chose the emerald, because there was something about the colour green that reminded me of her. It just seemed right, thus making my decision far simpler.”
It would have been delusional at that point for Albus to think that the preference for green was in any way a reference to his eye colour. He knew that, but deep down, he really wanted Scorpius to like him in some way, even if he would never actually love him. “It was really nice. I was afraid I would lose it or ruin it, so I put it in my vault. When all of this is over, I’ll give it back.”
Shaking his head, Scorpius said, “No. I'd really rather never see it again. Do whatever you want; give it to your sister, that madwoman you call a cousin, or whatever. I don't care.”
“Yes, you do,” Albus said. He knew Scorpius well enough to know that he was indeed attached to that necklace, but he didn't want to show it. “What do you really want me to do with it?”
Scorpius regarded Albus carefully, as if gauging a potential reaction. And for good reason. “I want you to keep it. I wanted Melinda to have it, and since she isn't real - except she is, because she's you - I want her to have it. So I suppose that means you should have it.”
“Okay. I'll take care of it, and that's a promise.” Albus looked away, because it was right about then that Scorpius would be embarrassed that he'd asked such a thing. To shift the dynamics a bit, he said, “You're keeping the broom, I hope.”
“Of course. Unless you want it back.”
Albus shook his head. “I can barely fly on an old broom. Something like that would probably get me killed. Besides, I knew you played and thought you would like it.”
An awkward quiet rose between them. There was a myriad of issues between them, and they were doing their level best to skirt around them. Albus was desperate to know that Scorpius felt something for him that wasn't disgust or annoyance, but he kept on bringing up things that couldn't possibly be relevant at the moment.
This time, it was Scorpius who ended the stand-off. “This is ridiculous. We're sitting here, acting like we don't even know one another. If we're going to be stuck here, it can't go on like this.” He squinted and leant toward Albus. “Your eyes are green.”
“So I noticed,” Albus said, wondering where this was going.
Seemingly in thought, Scorpius asked, “Favourite colour?”
“Green.”
“How many N.E.W.T.s?”
“Five.”
“Butterbeer or pumpkin juice?”
“Neither. I prefer water.”
“What is your family like?”
Now this question was far more complex. Albus considered it a minute before he responded. “They are a collection of rabble-rousing gingers who get together every holiday, only to spend most of it bickering over stupid things. I think my Aunt Hermione is the most normal of the bunch, and my Uncle Percy reminds me so much of Professor Vector that it's positively terrifying.”
“No, I mean your immediate family. What is it like to have a mum and dad that aren't completely mental? Did you ever wish that you didn't have to go home for holidays.”
“Sometimes. The summer my dad's godson Teddy got killed, I wanted to go back to Hogwarts because I refused to acknowledge that it happened. My parents fought a lot that year, and both of them were really different after that. That's also when my brother and I stopped getting on so well.”
Scorpius stared at the floor. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up.”
“No, it’s all right,” Albus said. “What's done is done. After a much-needed dust-up, we're okay now. Dad'll probably never be the same, but he can talk about Teddy now, whereas after it happened, he would get all dark and moody when someone mentioned anything that might have even sounded like Teddy's name.”
Appeased, Scorpius said, “They still sound nice, though, your family. I wish I'd had family that could forgive and forget. My father and grandfather will always think that they're superior because they're Malfoys and pure-blooded, and I'm not even going to start on my mother. Your family fights because they care, but mine... they don't even talk.”
“I guess so,” Albus said. Scorpius had never mentioned any of that before, but he was glad that he knew. It meant that he was opening up to the idea of being cordial with Albus and not just coolly civil, which was definitely a step in the right direction.
For hours after, they discussed any and every menial thing that they could think of, always steering far away from talking about their prior relationship. Albus found himself telling Scorpius things that he could scarcely bear to admit to himself. It felt good for him to become as familiar to Scorpius as Melinda had been, and after a while, he was even more so. The wall had broken, so perhaps down the line, they could be more.
But for the time being, Albus was happy. They were safe, and they were okay. Not great... just okay.
23 June, 2039
They couldn’t stay locked up in there forever. At some point, either Albus or Scorpius had to venture out, if not for food then for a chance to get away from the stale air in the neglected flat. Great issue had been taken as to who would get to leave first, but Albus had won that argument.
“Please tell me you’re still going to be here when I get back,” Albus said, dubious about leaving Scorpius alone. He could very well do a runner the moment Albus left.
Annoyed, Scorpius said, “I said I wouldn’t. Besides, where would I go when there are dozens of ex-Death Eaters trying to get me? Maybe I’ll just go for a little stroll through Diagon Alley. Merlin, Potter, how stupid do you think I am?”
“Oh, don’t turn this back on me!” Albus snapped. “You were the one bitching not an hour ago about not having a change of clothes. You know you can’t go back to your flat, especially not for something so utterly unimportant.”
Rolling his eyes, Scorpius said, “Well, maybe if you dressed like a civilised human being and not a homeless person, I could borrow some of yours.”
“Merlin’s twisted knickers, are you on about that again?” Truthfully, Albus didn’t mind bickering with Scorpius. It gave him something to think about other than the fact that they were in danger should they ever stray from those walls. “Just please don’t do anything foolish.”
Hoping that Scorpius would turn out to be far more reasonable than he was letting on, Albus Apparated to the Ministry. He needed to fill in Jenkins on what had happened in the past few days, plus arrange a more hospitable safe house for Scorpius. If they were both left penned up, they’d likely tear each other apart out of sheer boredom if nothing else.
Without waiting to announce his arrival, Albus stalked into Jenkins’s office. He could not quite prepare himself for what he saw there. In conference was no less than three confirmed or suspected Knights, laughing and joking with Jenkins like old friends. When they noticed Albus, the room became quiet.
Slowly, the pieces all began falling into place. There had been an operative inside the Ministry who held a high position. Even after all the information Albus provided, only a couple token arrests with no consequences were made. Now that he thought about it, it was all so ridiculously clear, and he’d missed it. “So it’s you then. You’re the mole.” The door was closed behind Albus by a non-verbal spell, and one of the Knights cast a Silencing Charm around the room. That gave him all the answer he needed.
“You never were very quick on the uptake, Potter.” Jenkins’s voice was ripe with disdain. “Why do you think I gave you this job in the first place?”
Albus was frozen. The whole truth hit him like a ton of bricks. Harry had said something about Jenkins putting someone on the case, hence ending the Auror Department’s involvement in Knight activity. Scorpius had mentioned that a Ministry take-over had always been the plan. Greengrass had told him to trust no-one and just hide. “You can’t seriously think this will work, can you? You want to snuff out the Minister and blame it on a couple of known radicals based on the information that I gave you, thereby giving you the right to avenge our beloved leader. The people will be looking for a hero, and they’ll happen to have you handy, there to give them back their security.”
Actually, the plan was brilliant, only Scorpius and Greengrass, who gave him information he wasn’t supposed to have, had unintentionally foiled it. Now that he had bearded the proverbial lion in its den, he was fairly certain that he had a slim chance of leaving the room unharmed. Playing things by ear had never been a strong suit of his, which is probably why he had been the rather unfortunate crux of the Knights’ scheme.
“So,” Albus said weakly, “I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me what happens now.” If he could get them to admit to anything, he would have at least a slim chance of getting a message to Scorpius to run for his life. If he had to die for that to happen, then that was how it would be. No matter how much of a joke Jenkins had made of his career in law enforcement, Albus had still vowed to protect the innocent with every last breath in his body. That resolve had never been tested to that point, but he was almost surprised that he had the bollocks to see it through.
“Oh, I’m definitely going to enjoy killing you,” Jenkins sneered. “All of your insipid drooling about the Malfoy boy, as if I wouldn’t notice you were half in love with him. Perhaps a lovers’ quarrel double-homicide would be the correct course of action.”
“Don’t touch him!” Albus growled. Even if they tore him to pieces, he would be damned if they would harm one hair on Scorpius’s head. He’d take them all on if he had to.
Jenkins laughed cruelly. “My point exactly. You are just too easy, Potter. Too easy.”
There was no way Albus was going to let them get away with anything. Closing his eyes, focussing on his sweetest and fondest memories, he clenched his hand around his wand, ready to cast the most important spell of his life. Remarkably clear-headed, he aimed his wand north-east in the direction of his flat and bellowed, “EXPECTO PATRONUM!”
A luminescent frog leaped out from a cloud of silver smoke and disappeared through the door. It would tell Scorpius what he knew and to run for it, and he would do his best to make sure that he got a chance to do so. Once the spell had been cast, Albus turned back to the four furious Knights, all of whom were armed and willing to kill him.
His Shield Charm was barely cast in time to deflect two Stunners and two other curses that he didn’t recognise. They seemed willing to let him live for the moment, even if it wasn’t for any other reason than to set up their false double murder. Even if he was outnumbered and categorically doomed, though, Albus wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of taking him down without a fight.
All of his efforts were concentrated on pure defence, but Albus knew he was eventually going to lose. What kept his resolve up was the thought that every second of their time that he wasted was one more second of a head start that Scorpius would have to escape these maniacs. Even as the raw frequency of his shield weakened it each time he cast it, he wasn’t going to give up until they started using the one curse that couldn’t be stopped.
Nearly exhausted, Albus was too slow in protecting himself, allowing a purple jet of light to hit him square in the chest. Pain the likes of which he had never experienced buffeted every last nerve in his body like fire ravaging a forest. His cries of agony were drowned out in his own ears by the roar of the fire that was cascading through him. He felt like his very bones were ready to melt under the intensity.
But just as soon as it started, it started to ease. The sounds in the room began to trickle back into his brain, and he could sense a newcomer to the room. Everything was still very hazy, but Albus felt himself being dragged away by someone who was swearing profusely. Though it was impossible, the voice reminded him of Scorpius, who was likely far away from London. The idea of it gave him peace of mind, which allowed the darkness that had been lurking around the perimeter of his mind to win over and he could finally sleep.
Albus had no idea how long he was out, but when he started to regain consciousness, he wished he hadn’t. His body hurt everywhere. Even his hair hurt. This distracted him for a while before he figured out that there were no more curses flying around him. Then he vaguely recalled someone pulling him away from the fight. He hoped that his benefactor was still around.
In an ill-advised effort to see where the hell he was, Albus sat bolt upright. The room started spinning, and he felt like vomiting. A bucket was placed under his chin so he could empty the contents of his stomach somewhere besides all over himself. When he was finished, he was pushed back down onto his pillows and-
Pillows? Where the hell was he? This time, he was far more careful, slowly opening his eyes. His glasses were gone, so he couldn’t see properly, but he could recognise that platinum blond hair anywhere. “W-why are you here? It’s not safe.”
Scorpius chucked. “We’re about as safe as we can get. We’re at your parents’ house.”
As the fog lifted, Albus jerked his head toward Scorpius. “But… what happened?” Somehow, his plan to give Scorpius time to get away had been dangerously uprooted.
“When I got your Patronus, I knew what you were trying to do. There was no way I was leaving you to die there. I sent an owl to your dad, giving him a place to meet up with us, should either of us get out of this stupid fiasco alive. I managed to catch them by surprise and Disarm all but one of them, and after that, it was actually fairly easy to get away. I managed to get you to your father, and we’ve been here ever since.” As if he realised something that he’d forgotten, Scorpius reached into his pocket and placed Albus’s glasses - the ones he preferred - onto his face. “Better?”
“Please don’t say you went back to the hotel.”
“I didn’t go by myself, if that’s what you’re asking. Between when your mum threw me out for thinking I was one of your attackers to when your dad finally convinced her that I wasn’t one of the Knights, I had some spare time. Your other ones were broken.”
Albus smiled at the mental image of his mother railing at Scorpius. “Sorry ‘bout that.”
Shaking his head, Scorpius said, “No need to apologise. She loves you and had every right not to trust me. Considering my grandfather and even my own mother were implicated in Jenkins’s confession, it’s a natural assumption.”
“Wait, what?” Albus was shocked. What purpose could Jenkins selling out his cohorts possibly serve? It would earn him no friends in Azkaban.
The corner of his mouth twitching, Scorpius clarified. “Oh, your father may or may not have slipped and splashed some Veritaserum Jenkins’s way. It was quite informative, and he’s off with his Aurors, rounding up every last one of them.”
“But that’s illegal!” Albus was in disbelief that his father would have such blatant disregard for the law.
“I would have done a hell of a lot worse if I’d got a hold of them first.” Scorpius’s eyes darkened. “If you could have seen the look in his eyes…”
Almost in awe of Scorpius, Albus asked the question that had been in his mind since he had been told what happened. “Why did you come back for me? All you had to do was run, and you would have been shot of me for good. No more uncomfortable reminders of everything, no more putting up with the idea that a bloke is stupidly in love with you…why?”
“Oh, I considered it,” Scorpius admitted, “but only for a few seconds. When I thought about you, that you would let yourself be slaughtered just so I might be able to get away, I knew that I would never be able to live with myself if anything happened to you. It didn’t take long to figure out where you were, and the rest you know.”
Rubbing his throbbing temples, Albus asked, “What the hell curse was that anyway?”
Scorpius glowered. “Your dad said it was a Burning Curse. He’d seen it once before, and I think it was the memory of it that set him off.”
That sounded very much like Harry, which made Albus smile to himself. “Thank you for coming back. Even though I’m right pissed that you did, thank you.”
“Potter…” Scorpius said before amending, “Albus, I think I need to tell you something.”
Worried that someone else had been hurt, Albus was anxious to know what this ‘something’ was. “Is everyone okay?”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. You’re injured enough for everyone. I was talking about something else.” Scorpius closed his eyes, as if collecting his thoughts privately before proceeding. “There was a point while you were out that it wasn’t certain whether you were going to make it.”
Albus had no idea where this was going. “Okay,” he said tentatively, hoping to spur on something a bit more enlightening.
“That gave me time to think about a lot of things. First, there was the fact that I’m probably damaged beyond words for any serious relationship. Then there’s the fact that my mother and grandfather are traitors, and I’ll be lucky if I have an inheritance now. But the one that struck me the most was how much the idea of you dying made me sick inside.”
“Are you saying…” Albus didn’t dare hope that Scorpius had somehow had a change of heart, not to mention sexuality.
“What I’m saying, Potter, is that I care about you. I don’t know what that means at the moment, because we have the most fucked up thing going on between us and it’s more complicated than I know how to deal with. But I suppose what I mean is that I don’t think I could go the rest of my life without knowing whether it was you I fell in love with or if it was really Melinda. I would like the opportunity to find that out.”
His jaw hanging slack, Albus stuttered, “Sure... I mean, if you want to, but don't feel like you have to for-“ He never finished his sentence as Scorpius cut him off with a searing kiss. It caught him off guard, but it didn't take long to remember that hint of peppermint and a flavour that belonged solely to Scorpius. It felt just as good and right as it had when he was under the effects of the Polyjuice pills.
Finally tearing his lips away, Scorpius was breathless. “You taste the same. How is that possible?”
Shrugging, Albus said, “No idea. I suppose I should let the boys in Intel know that the pills aren't effective on everything.”
Scorpius nodded absently, seemingly in deep contemplation. Albus would have given anything to know what was going on inside his head at that moment. He wanted so badly for Scorpius to declare that he was still interested, but it would have been the height of delusion to expect it to actually happen. That was probably why Albus nearly flinched when his lips were again occupied.
If possible, this kiss was even sweeter than the first, because there was no sense of hesitation or doubt. Albus felt himself melting back into the pillows as Scorpius leant in closer for just that much more added contact.
A throat clearing in the background interrupted an otherwise perfect moment. They both turned to see James, who was trying his best not to smirk. “Mum told me you'd been cursed or something. I came by to see how you were doing. I guess I should have asked who you were doing first.”
Albus glared, “Go to hell, James. It's none of your business.”
James looked ready to retort, but Scorpius stood up. “I should probably talk to your father sometime soon to see if he needs me for any more information. I'll leave you two alone.” As he left, he passed by James, whispering just loud enough for Albus to hear, “Helen Markle.”
Turning red, James glowered as Scorpius walked away looking like the cat that had swallowed the canary. His little brother, however, had nowhere to hide. “What the hell is wrong with you? Malfoy? Really?!”
“As I said, James, it's none of your business who I'm snogging. Now, if you could be so kind as to act like an adult when he's around, I'd really appreciate it.” Albus hated the defensive tone in his voice, but the last person who had room to judge him for anything was James.
“Weren't you dating Wendy Smith? You know... the ugly one. Bit of a downgrade after the Ashley Crane feat. Then again, Malfoy's kind of pretty for a bloke, so maybe you're not so-“
“For the love of Merlin, she wasn't ugly! Besides, she was really good at... other things. And isn't it some sort of character flaw to judge people by how they look?” If anyone could be an authority on the subject, Albus was definitely it.
Scoffing, James said, “No, it's not, and - wait a minute! Since when did you start being gay?”
“I'm not, as far as I can tell. I just... like him. I like a nice pair of tits as well as you do. Just not when they're on me.” At James's confusion, he gave a brief synopsis of his months’ long assignment.
“So, he fell for you as a girl, and now that you're a guy again, he still fancies you? Maybe a Malfoy can really change his spots.”
Albus wasn't very strong at the moment, but he had enough in him to punch his brother in the arm. “I don't suppose it would kill you to be happy for me, would it?”
“Murder, little brother. It would be murder.” James ruffled Albus's hair and darted away before the fist that was careening toward his face could make contact. “I'll leave you two alone. Get well soon so Mum can go back to yelling at the wireless instead of wearing a hole in the kitchen floor with her maniacal pacing.”
As James left the room, Albus laid back, thinking about everything that had happened, starting with that day in Diagon Alley and really veering into the realm of the bizarre at the Halloween Masque. When he had been given the assignment, he had known it would be difficult, but he had no idea how much it would really change his life.
And he believed it was for the better, but when Scorpius came back in and gave him a lazy smile, he knew it for sure.