Phil
I was hugging the poor guy so close people must have thought I was trying to meld our two bodies together. I immediately backed off, except a little too far off because my ass smacked the lady behind me and pushed her face right into the whipped cream on top of her gigantic mug of mocha. Horrified, I turned around to help the frothy woman, and leaned forward to pick up a napkin off of her table.
“No, don’t worry about it,” the lady snapped, blowing away some of the whipped topping as she spoke.
“Oh, no, I got it.”
She and I grabbed the top napkin in the basket at the same time and pulled.
“Really, it’s ok.”
The woman tugged at the napkin and I tugged back, so embarrassed by my clumsiness in front of Phil that I needed to show him how much of a gentleman I could be about the situation. However, the stupid bitch wouldn’t let go. The napkin suddenly ripped in half and my elbow went backwards with impressive force. It connected with Phil’s crotch, and a high-pitched wail seemed to emanate from his entire being. Shocked, I whipped around to help the poor guy out, but my head slammed into his, which was at my level because of his doubling over in pain. For the second time that day, my head screamed with pain. My complete mortification over what I had done overshadowed my pain, however, and I moved past it.
“No, don’t worry about it,” the lady snapped, blowing away some of the whipped topping as she spoke.
“Oh, no, I got it.”
She and I grabbed the top napkin in the basket at the same time and pulled.
“Really, it’s ok.”
The woman tugged at the napkin and I tugged back, so embarrassed by my clumsiness in front of Phil that I needed to show him how much of a gentleman I could be about the situation. However, the stupid bitch wouldn’t let go. The napkin suddenly ripped in half and my elbow went backwards with impressive force. It connected with Phil’s crotch, and a high-pitched wail seemed to emanate from his entire being. Shocked, I whipped around to help the poor guy out, but my head slammed into his, which was at my level because of his doubling over in pain. For the second time that day, my head screamed with pain. My complete mortification over what I had done overshadowed my pain, however, and I moved past it.