Wanna know something so sketchy?
Yeah, so I just IM'd Josh. He was online on my linked sn, and yeah, I congradulated him on Harvard, and I told him I wanted to talk to him about somethings, and that he had my other sn blocked, I gave him my # but I do not expect him to call, or respond to my msg. But hey, I tried right?
Chris is on his way back from the bank, and his Friday morning meeting, I would really like to sit down and talk to him, but I have a feeling he'll just want to leave. He's got that thing at the Chrurch he wanted to go check out, and I dunno..I've already given my stance on religion. Here's me being selfish, I want him to find happiness, and peace with himself, and if through the christian religion he finds it that's wonderful, I see nothing wrong with that, I just don't want to lose him to it, and I don't want him to force it upon me. I am trying to figure out on my own my 'true calling' of religion. Yeah.
Ofcourse, I feel better than I did last night, surprised? You shouldn't be, I have these crazy mood swings. But still I want more for Chris on a physical level than just sex. I want him to touch me, hold me. Like hold my hand when we're in the car, atleast once in a while, and kiss me, instead of me feeling like I kiss him, or ask him to kiss me. We used to lay on the couch and he'd smell my hair, that simple little gesture made me feel special. He hardly gets that close to me now. And I can't help think the feelings he claimed to have had for me then are slowly and surely dissappearing.
I just need to talk to him, instead of I dunno. Not.
Erg! I wish I knew if he read this, I doubt he does, he used to... but yeah. Just one of those things he USED to do.
Chris is on his way back from the bank, and his Friday morning meeting, I would really like to sit down and talk to him, but I have a feeling he'll just want to leave. He's got that thing at the Chrurch he wanted to go check out, and I dunno..I've already given my stance on religion. Here's me being selfish, I want him to find happiness, and peace with himself, and if through the christian religion he finds it that's wonderful, I see nothing wrong with that, I just don't want to lose him to it, and I don't want him to force it upon me. I am trying to figure out on my own my 'true calling' of religion. Yeah.
Ofcourse, I feel better than I did last night, surprised? You shouldn't be, I have these crazy mood swings. But still I want more for Chris on a physical level than just sex. I want him to touch me, hold me. Like hold my hand when we're in the car, atleast once in a while, and kiss me, instead of me feeling like I kiss him, or ask him to kiss me. We used to lay on the couch and he'd smell my hair, that simple little gesture made me feel special. He hardly gets that close to me now. And I can't help think the feelings he claimed to have had for me then are slowly and surely dissappearing.
I just need to talk to him, instead of I dunno. Not.
Erg! I wish I knew if he read this, I doubt he does, he used to... but yeah. Just one of those things he USED to do.