Confused as hell!!!
Last night (till this morning lol) was rather interesting - well the morning sure didn’t feel interesting though. Discovering a new heart beat in your head is not fun! After hangin out for a while, I ended up at my friend’s party around one am. We all relaxed while two of my friends let’s say “took a mental trip” or rather they just “rolled” there. After making sure that they were “rolling along fine” lol, the rest of us busted out the sweet and magical drinks of the gods and various tobacco products. The whole night we simply smoked and drunk. However, unlike our previous parties, this one was rather low beat and quite surprisingly philosophical. What I still remember (despite the ridiculous amounts of alcohol I drunk) was that one of my friends repeated what he had told me about a few months ago - he told me that the only logical explanation for my rather bizarre situation was the I am cursed. I do not believe in curses nor magic; however, his words are making a frightening amount of sense. The weird thing is that my whole life has been like this, well actually not whole but enough years to consider a large amount. My friend’s conclusion was that I’ve been cursed almost all of my life, or maybe just in this area. lol I honestly hope that he is wrong. Another theory from one of my school buddies is that God wants me to learn something. The conclusion I drew from this is that God is punishing me, for I don’t understand what I could possibly learn from this situation - that no matter what I do I will be fucked? or is it persistence? I honestly don’t know. And the situation itself doesn’t help even a bit - I’m confused as hell. I’ll have better chances finding my house if I was blindfolded and dropped in the middle of the Sahara than figuring out this situation. Yes, my chances of not only finding my way through the Sahara WITH the blindfolds on AND swimming across the Atlantic - and successfully might I add - is greater, much much greater, than actually figuring out this situation. And to add to it, the situation itself simply makes itself more and more complicated as time passes. Well, the rest of my night kind of went by in a roll of drinks and clouds of smoke. I’d rather not indulge you with the specifics, especially of where I woke up and how. lol (don’t worry if you don’t get it, it’s an inside joke)