Counting Crows - Holiday in Spain

[specks2mmm]

i know i said that i was done.

and i probably shouldnt have listened to this song.

the melody, the tone, the lyrics make me think of you and make me want to cry.

for some reason ive been thinking about you a lot. i have been thinking about how school is ending. high school is ending. i am a graduating senior. and all i can do is think back to a graduating senior i knew three years ago.

what would you think of me now? of the person i've become? am i who you thought i was? would i still be worthy? was i ever? would you be disappointed? proud?

do i even want to know?

i know i do. but why does it matter? why does your opinion matter so much? you, you who have been such a small part in my life--and the largest part of all.

what makes you so great, so important, anyways?

i wish i could stop being so sad.

i wish it could just stop.

i dont know how i feel, that someone who is staying behind in the high school, will always associate the two of us together--for a reason that i do not know.

so many memories are coming back. like, overwhelming me, i cant think in the present right now.

i dont know what i need to get to the next level. ive been rotting here all year. and i cant stay at this level anymore. i need to move on, but how or when i cant say.

i hope you think of me from time to time...

"drive this little girl insane..."