Eyes of a Fallen Angel
Contractions, painful or not, are not an amusing or even interesting part of pregnancy. They are nothing but stress factors. Anything to make you think that you're either going into labor or something is going wrong. Which one? Won't be able to tell until you head to the hospital or your water breaks.
I've decided that Monday I'm talking to my doctor and asking him to put me on maternity leave. Then Tuesday I'm talking to my personnel people and manager and discussing the longest amount of time I can go on maternity leave. Tell them that the job is stressing me into contractions and bleeding. That I'm not loosing a baby to Walmart. I will not cause myself more stress worried about when I've got to be at work, how people will react to my inability to help them with their heavier items. I will no longer worry about when I'm getting my breaks and lunches. I won't worry about the swelling in my limbs. I won't worry about trying to stand up at the the end of my shift. I won't. I won't. I won't.
I feel like I'm in this on my own too. Thats the worst part. Drew is here for me as much as he can be, but he always has to act so stoic. It drives me insane. I want to talk about the baby. He wants to talk about the Penguins game on Friday and how they're doing in their division. I don't want to think of it as this, but I'm afraid he isn't ready for a kid...that all the things I thought in the beginning will be coming true.
Meh.
To bed.
I've decided that Monday I'm talking to my doctor and asking him to put me on maternity leave. Then Tuesday I'm talking to my personnel people and manager and discussing the longest amount of time I can go on maternity leave. Tell them that the job is stressing me into contractions and bleeding. That I'm not loosing a baby to Walmart. I will not cause myself more stress worried about when I've got to be at work, how people will react to my inability to help them with their heavier items. I will no longer worry about when I'm getting my breaks and lunches. I won't worry about the swelling in my limbs. I won't worry about trying to stand up at the the end of my shift. I won't. I won't. I won't.
I feel like I'm in this on my own too. Thats the worst part. Drew is here for me as much as he can be, but he always has to act so stoic. It drives me insane. I want to talk about the baby. He wants to talk about the Penguins game on Friday and how they're doing in their division. I don't want to think of it as this, but I'm afraid he isn't ready for a kid...that all the things I thought in the beginning will be coming true.
Meh.
To bed.