i hate my life...

[special_eddy]

so i dont know whats happened to me lately...ive become what i hate most....i think everything has just hit me all at once.....its not like my life has even been that bad lately...everyone is back at school...ive been going out....i just literally have to force myself to have fun or do anything anymore...i dunno...its just retarded..i go through cycles...im fine one minute...miserable the next....i have issues...and im sure some of my friends would blame it on my bf...but hes been so good lately....weve been going out...he calls me almost all the time....and despite some retarded misconception-hes not cheating on me and I trust him completely.....i think work has just been taking a toll on me and everything else....school is going to blow..having two jobs is going to blow....not having any free time will suck a midget's dick.....i may just give up this semester....it has been nice that my brobro and cuzin moved in tho...they are pretty fun and my cuzin is just a really kewl person to talk to so im kinda excited about that whole thing....

i dunno....im just worried lately...i havent been eating at all...its like i never have an appetite....ive lost 15 or more pounds the past few weeks...and its not like im trying i just dont eat anymore...and thats just completely unlike me.....i eat sometimes...but i can never finish a meal or even eat half...its wierd.....i just dont know anymore....i have no reason to not be happy with my life...once in a great while i can understand a bad night....but its a little extreme lately...im considering happy pills at this point in my life....i just dont understand what the fuck is wrong with me...i can sit here and tell my self all this stuff that there is no reason for me feeling the way i do lately....but i really just cant even pretend or fix it anymore...i need something....