This is so so so bad
Here I am again, staying up ridiculously late. This time I have a final paper to finish, complete with the list of a crapload of sources, copies of the sources, an MLA outline, and rough draft in a three-pronged folder. On top of that, we have to upload all these to two different websites.
I honestly cannot keep myself conscentrated. I'm trying so hard.
I've also noticed that my mind works on a week-to-week basis. I cannot remember what's happening during a week until it's Monday of that week. "Oh yeah. On Saturday is the day my family is celebrating Christmas because mom has to leave for a trip the next day." But the week before that, every week ahead of me looks uniform. Generic. "Oh. Great. Awesome. I told them I could effing work on my Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Shit."
Anyway, back to the paper. I guess you could say I sort of had it coming. I had a pretty easy semester. I just wish everything wasn't so mutha-huggin particular. I can do the folder thing. I'll print out all my freakin sources and gaiety. But two websites?? That's like 10 seperate documents I'd have to send including all the sources! I just. I just don't know how I'm going to do it all. She said in the weekly email to all of us students that we could work on the online submitting in class. This barely takes away any of my stress and worry.
I've been having to take random little breaks during this whole process just because I'm so freakin ADD these days. I've been checking LJ and watching youtube videos in hopes that it helps keep me sane during all this.
Btw, it's totally 4:35 in the morning right now.
I'm not going to get any sleep tonight either. And for some reason, I kind of like the idea. I like working during the night as opposed to the day. It just makes me feel less rushed and a tiny bit less distracted.
But this is so bad for me. This'll be the second night this week where I got no sleep, and later on, I'm going to have to make it up somehow. (Side note: Getting no sleep meant missing both marial arts and a voice lesson. Beth hates me. She does. She tries to tell me it's ok, but it's totally not. AND I HATE MYSELF. And Brock called me after school asking "where the hello-kitty" I was. I laughed. Then I slept some more.) I can't keep this up. But I sort of have to right now.
I want to go to sleep right now. I'm so tired. But I have to finish this. I have to be up early so I can print all of this crap up and then go to Wal-mart to buy the gay folder to put it all in. It's going to be a book, dammit. It's gonna be so thick.
I currently hate the world.
On another random side note, Miranda suggested me for the new team leader position. I'm taking the tests and being trained in the back in the next few weeks. \o/ It's actually happening. Now Kelli and I are both team leaders. Wow. We are so unoriginal. BUT PROMOTED AND PAID BETTER.
My neck hurts so bad.
I just want to die and not have to deal with this. Dude. I'm oddly reminded of the talk in apologetics about nothing happening after you die. It reminds me of sleeping without dreaming. I would totally be into that. Ceasing to exist. That's cool with me.
.... Shoot. I just saved my final paper over the rough draft document. Crap. How am I gonna send it in to her? GEEEEEEER EGF WEIGA IORLAH *FRUSTRATION*
No, really. I hate the world right now.
I never want to touch another can of Monster for the rest of my life, but I have a feeling I won't have much choice tomorrow. Maybe I'll actually be able to get to starbucks this time, though. That would be a billion times better.
My mind feels like this huge mosh pit of thoughts and I can't take a second to focus. I just keep coming up with more and more spontaneous, random thoughts. I can't focus. I can't stay on this. I can't stop moving long enough to....
I really want to skip ICS again. REALLY BAD.
*groans*
I want to cry. And then fall asleep. And then die. DIE.
I honestly cannot keep myself conscentrated. I'm trying so hard.
I've also noticed that my mind works on a week-to-week basis. I cannot remember what's happening during a week until it's Monday of that week. "Oh yeah. On Saturday is the day my family is celebrating Christmas because mom has to leave for a trip the next day." But the week before that, every week ahead of me looks uniform. Generic. "Oh. Great. Awesome. I told them I could effing work on my Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Shit."
Anyway, back to the paper. I guess you could say I sort of had it coming. I had a pretty easy semester. I just wish everything wasn't so mutha-huggin particular. I can do the folder thing. I'll print out all my freakin sources and gaiety. But two websites?? That's like 10 seperate documents I'd have to send including all the sources! I just. I just don't know how I'm going to do it all. She said in the weekly email to all of us students that we could work on the online submitting in class. This barely takes away any of my stress and worry.
I've been having to take random little breaks during this whole process just because I'm so freakin ADD these days. I've been checking LJ and watching youtube videos in hopes that it helps keep me sane during all this.
Btw, it's totally 4:35 in the morning right now.
I'm not going to get any sleep tonight either. And for some reason, I kind of like the idea. I like working during the night as opposed to the day. It just makes me feel less rushed and a tiny bit less distracted.
But this is so bad for me. This'll be the second night this week where I got no sleep, and later on, I'm going to have to make it up somehow. (Side note: Getting no sleep meant missing both marial arts and a voice lesson. Beth hates me. She does. She tries to tell me it's ok, but it's totally not. AND I HATE MYSELF. And Brock called me after school asking "where the hello-kitty" I was. I laughed. Then I slept some more.) I can't keep this up. But I sort of have to right now.
I want to go to sleep right now. I'm so tired. But I have to finish this. I have to be up early so I can print all of this crap up and then go to Wal-mart to buy the gay folder to put it all in. It's going to be a book, dammit. It's gonna be so thick.
I currently hate the world.
On another random side note, Miranda suggested me for the new team leader position. I'm taking the tests and being trained in the back in the next few weeks. \o/ It's actually happening. Now Kelli and I are both team leaders. Wow. We are so unoriginal. BUT PROMOTED AND PAID BETTER.
My neck hurts so bad.
I just want to die and not have to deal with this. Dude. I'm oddly reminded of the talk in apologetics about nothing happening after you die. It reminds me of sleeping without dreaming. I would totally be into that. Ceasing to exist. That's cool with me.
.... Shoot. I just saved my final paper over the rough draft document. Crap. How am I gonna send it in to her? GEEEEEEER EGF WEIGA IORLAH *FRUSTRATION*
No, really. I hate the world right now.
I never want to touch another can of Monster for the rest of my life, but I have a feeling I won't have much choice tomorrow. Maybe I'll actually be able to get to starbucks this time, though. That would be a billion times better.
My mind feels like this huge mosh pit of thoughts and I can't take a second to focus. I just keep coming up with more and more spontaneous, random thoughts. I can't focus. I can't stay on this. I can't stop moving long enough to....
I really want to skip ICS again. REALLY BAD.
*groans*
I want to cry. And then fall asleep. And then die. DIE.