i seem to seriously fail at keeping this updated. not to mention my life isn't exactly the easiest to manage.

but i'm trying.

i don't think it's working too well. bother. life goes on, i suppose.

I've never really viewed myself as a jealous person, but over the last several month, I've seen just how jealous I can be. Anthony never flirts when we're out and about, but he's always flirting on SuicideGirls, with all the ladies on there, and granted that's where we met, but I honestly cannot stand how much he flirts. It makes me sick to my ( Read more... )

I'm hardly ever at home anymore, but I always have my laptop with me. Unfortunately, Anthony's intarwebz are fritzee, so sometimes always having my mac doesn't matter much. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I spend a lot of my time at Ant's, and it's so much fun and stuff, but I'm starting to wonder if that just means he'll get bored of my ( Read more... )

I'm "in a relationship" again, his name's anthony, and I really like him a lot. I've been getting to know him for the last coupla weeks, met him on the SG forums, but he's relatively local, only in San Rafael, which isn't very far at all from Petaluma. We get along very well, I just got home from spending three days straight at his house, didn't go ( Read more... )

it hurts. a lot. i got a piece of metal shoved through my lip. yay me. vertical labret.

I had the strangest dream last night/this morning, I was at this concert, in love with this guy, but I had a baby that wasn't mine at all, who looked like she was maybe 10, but was the size of a 3 year old. For some crazy reason, everyone wanted to hold her and dance with her, but I kept having to leave and change her diaper. But every time I would ( Read more... )

I suck at doing things I say I'm going to. I said I was going to forget my feelings, I couldn't do that. I said I was going to move past my feelings. Couldn't do that either.

But I love Cody, and I will wait for him. I won't plan my life around him, but I will wait for him. I will be there for him when he needs me, care for him always, and maybe, ( Read more... )

I know I said I was going to forget about my feelings for Cody, but I can't. They're feelings that just keep on popping up, so I don't know what I'm gonna do. Other then continue to be his friend, that's all I can really do right now ( Read more... )

Wow. Going behind my back, and telling him? Is this supposed to help me move on, or what-not? Fucking fuck. I'm already hurting enough without having to worry that the things I say in confidence will be repeated to the one person who probably shouldn't hear them. Since it's not like he gives me the time of day, or cares that I spend more time then ( Read more... )

My birthday is in six days, and I'm super excited. But I'm also a little confused about everything that's going on around me. I flirted hella with Ryan last night, sure it as via IM, but I dunno. Flirting is flirting, you know? It was just odd, because I didn't realize it until afterwards. I guess I'm kind of flirting retarded ( Read more... )