fuck it all
im seriously tired of who i am. I'm tired of the way i act, the things i do, the things i say, I'm just so fucking sick of it. I try to change myself but for some reason it just seems so hard to do. Tonight I realized that most of my friends havent given or dont give me that much respect and I finally realized why. I'm a dumbass, annoying, whiny, aggervating dumb fuck. And yes, i also know that the main reason why i cant get a gf is because i try to hard and i think about it too much. Well sorry kids, i seriosuly try everything in my path to not think about it but my heart is just set on it and i cant take it away. My heart is set to wanting and needing to be in a relationship and to feel and love the greatness of it all. Yes there are its ups and downs but thats just how it is. End of story. I think the only way i'm going to be able to change my ways is if I just chill for a little while, just go to work and come home everyday. And on my days off I might go downtown for a bit but just by myself. I need to try and rediscover myself and change the being inside of me I truly hate. and if any of my friends think its fucked up, retarded, or any of that shit, then i guess i'll find out who my true friends are.