My Dilemma...
Being single isn't always as fun as I thought.. it's tons of fun, I wont lie.. but there's a lot of deep thinking involved too.
My current dilemma:
Lately I've been spending more time at work with Justin. We have a lot of fun together. We snuck off at work the other day and spent about 45 minutes sitting in the deserted Satellite gates talking. We learned that we have a lot in common. We got off work at the same time so Justin offered to walk me to my car, then I'd drive him to his. I wanted him to help me change my clock because it's damn near impossible to do! This turned into a lot of laughs because even with the 2 of us we couldn't figure it out. We ended up sitting in my car for almost 2 hours just talking and getting to know eachother. This turned into a bit of cuddling and kissing. Did I mention he has a tongue ring.. and it's incredibly HOT?! I've never kissed a guy with one before, and it was so cool. And when he took his jacket off it lifted his shirt up and I saw one of the most perfect bodies EVER... Anyway, he asked me if I'd like to go see a movie this week. I really want to go.. and here is where the dilemma comes in...
I really like Jeremy. I care a lot about him. He's sweet, funny and we have a great time together. I know he doesn't like that I talk to Justin... Justin actually asked Jeremy if he'd mind if he asked me out. I know that pissed Jeremy off. I don't want to upset Jeremy or lose what we have, even though I dont really know what that is.
I keep going over it in my head.. get to know Justin better, spend time with him as a friend.. and risk losing Jeremy. I wish I could just keep seeing Jeremy and get to know Justin and not have to worry about this! It's silly that I have to worry about this because Jeremy is the one who has made it more than clear that we're not a couple and are free to do what we want. But I think spending time with someone he works with, one of his supervisors no less, will not sit well with him.
As much as I keep telling myself "Who cares what Jeremy thinks? If he gets upset over somethign this stupid he's not worth it anyway" but I just don't feel that way in my heart. Then I think about how I'd feel if he was hanging out with one of the girls I work with... even just as friends... and I know I'd lose it. When one of the girls at work asked me if I'd mind if she gave Jeremy her number I wanted to rip her hair out, lol.
I dont even know what it is about Jeremy that I like so much. He doesn't pay as much attention to me as he used to.. probably because before he was trying to get me and now that he knows I'm hooked he doesn't have to try as hard. Everytime I think I could maybe live without seeing him he somehow changes my mind.
3 of my girl friends from work, and 5 of the ramp guys (including Jeremy) went to the bar after work the other night. It was the most fun I've had in ages. "You don't know my name" by Alicia Keys came on and Jeremy was like "This is a sick song baby" so I said "Oh ya? Are you gonna serenade me?" so he took both my hands in his, pulled me close and started singing to me. It was so cute, but I had to laugh. He spent the rest of the night holding my hands or with his arms around me, which is very unusual for him to do when our friends are around. Then yesterday at work he kept calling me on the radio and bugging me. So there's no mistaking that he cares about me, I know he does.
Now Justin is text messaging me telling me how cute I am and how he wishes he could be here to take care of me (I have a cold).
Ugh, I just dont know what to do... I'll definitely go out with Justin once and see how that goes. Who knows, I may even decide I dont like him after all. And if I do, I'll keep hanging out with him. Hopefully Jeremy won't find out. And if he does, then I hope he's okay with it. He's not my boyfriend, we're not even dating.. so there's not much that he can say really.. but I don't want his feelings for me to change either.
We're going to Edmonton together on the 28th so I just dont want there to be any tension between us. I'm actually really excited for this trip, and to spend some time alone with Jeremy. A few of us went out for breakfast at 1am after work last week and we had a great time. Jeremy drove me back to my car after and we spent over an hour in his truck... having fun ;)
I know... I shouldn't be complaining (and I'm not). It's not THAT bad to have 2 guys after you ;) I just had to write this out and get it off my mind.
My current dilemma:
Lately I've been spending more time at work with Justin. We have a lot of fun together. We snuck off at work the other day and spent about 45 minutes sitting in the deserted Satellite gates talking. We learned that we have a lot in common. We got off work at the same time so Justin offered to walk me to my car, then I'd drive him to his. I wanted him to help me change my clock because it's damn near impossible to do! This turned into a lot of laughs because even with the 2 of us we couldn't figure it out. We ended up sitting in my car for almost 2 hours just talking and getting to know eachother. This turned into a bit of cuddling and kissing. Did I mention he has a tongue ring.. and it's incredibly HOT?! I've never kissed a guy with one before, and it was so cool. And when he took his jacket off it lifted his shirt up and I saw one of the most perfect bodies EVER... Anyway, he asked me if I'd like to go see a movie this week. I really want to go.. and here is where the dilemma comes in...
I really like Jeremy. I care a lot about him. He's sweet, funny and we have a great time together. I know he doesn't like that I talk to Justin... Justin actually asked Jeremy if he'd mind if he asked me out. I know that pissed Jeremy off. I don't want to upset Jeremy or lose what we have, even though I dont really know what that is.
I keep going over it in my head.. get to know Justin better, spend time with him as a friend.. and risk losing Jeremy. I wish I could just keep seeing Jeremy and get to know Justin and not have to worry about this! It's silly that I have to worry about this because Jeremy is the one who has made it more than clear that we're not a couple and are free to do what we want. But I think spending time with someone he works with, one of his supervisors no less, will not sit well with him.
As much as I keep telling myself "Who cares what Jeremy thinks? If he gets upset over somethign this stupid he's not worth it anyway" but I just don't feel that way in my heart. Then I think about how I'd feel if he was hanging out with one of the girls I work with... even just as friends... and I know I'd lose it. When one of the girls at work asked me if I'd mind if she gave Jeremy her number I wanted to rip her hair out, lol.
I dont even know what it is about Jeremy that I like so much. He doesn't pay as much attention to me as he used to.. probably because before he was trying to get me and now that he knows I'm hooked he doesn't have to try as hard. Everytime I think I could maybe live without seeing him he somehow changes my mind.
3 of my girl friends from work, and 5 of the ramp guys (including Jeremy) went to the bar after work the other night. It was the most fun I've had in ages. "You don't know my name" by Alicia Keys came on and Jeremy was like "This is a sick song baby" so I said "Oh ya? Are you gonna serenade me?" so he took both my hands in his, pulled me close and started singing to me. It was so cute, but I had to laugh. He spent the rest of the night holding my hands or with his arms around me, which is very unusual for him to do when our friends are around. Then yesterday at work he kept calling me on the radio and bugging me. So there's no mistaking that he cares about me, I know he does.
Now Justin is text messaging me telling me how cute I am and how he wishes he could be here to take care of me (I have a cold).
Ugh, I just dont know what to do... I'll definitely go out with Justin once and see how that goes. Who knows, I may even decide I dont like him after all. And if I do, I'll keep hanging out with him. Hopefully Jeremy won't find out. And if he does, then I hope he's okay with it. He's not my boyfriend, we're not even dating.. so there's not much that he can say really.. but I don't want his feelings for me to change either.
We're going to Edmonton together on the 28th so I just dont want there to be any tension between us. I'm actually really excited for this trip, and to spend some time alone with Jeremy. A few of us went out for breakfast at 1am after work last week and we had a great time. Jeremy drove me back to my car after and we spent over an hour in his truck... having fun ;)
I know... I shouldn't be complaining (and I'm not). It's not THAT bad to have 2 guys after you ;) I just had to write this out and get it off my mind.