Things WILL get better.....
Well things are really tuff still but I know they will look up. Although Derek is ALL I ever think about...I mean seriously. He's all I think about, talk about, and dream about. I just wish things would work out between us. He's all I ever wanted in a guy but at the time I just wasn't ready and I thought that I was doing the right thing but I guess not...because I've only hurt us both. In time things will be okay...and things will work themselves out even if we don't get together. I just want closure...it's like righ tnow I'm ripping my heart apart because it's like I want to try to heal and get over him but I don't want to because I know how much I love him and how I will never love like that again and there's a small chance of us getting back together. I just don't know what to do. It's like I told Kathy life sucks and then we die so what the hell is the point...and that's really how I feel. If my life is going to suck this much without him then what's the point of living it. Don't get me wron I'm not going to kill myself or anything but I know that there will ALWAYS be a hole in my heart that belongs to him and I will never be complete without him. But oh well...anyway I'm gonna go watch a movie or somehting and just think....I'll talk to you all later.