Too jarring: India
I try to stay at home. Whenever I come back to India I rarely venture out. I used to think the rules and restrictions of my family's society bogged me down. I have to wear 'decent' clothing i.e. arms and legs should be covered, the neck line should be literally till the neck or higher, the fit should be loose. the body's curves should be hidden. This and such similar rules are tedious. Dressing appropriately takes too much effort. There aren't that many markets I could keep going to and hanging on the drivers' and attendants' availability is just plain irritating. Walking outside by myself is too dangerous. A sure shot invitation for sketchy men to indulge in some eve-teasing.
But today as I was walking with my mother in our driveway I realized this is not why I stay inside the house. As I joined my mother in her evening walk, I heard a dog bark. continuously. It was irritating but I did not think much of it. Then my mother told me that the people who live in the other side of the house owned a black labrador they kept in a cage.
Me, " why do they keep it in a cage?!"
Mummy, "So that it would grow up to be ferocious."
Me, " Why, that's ridiculous. That too a labrador. They should have gotten a Doberman if they wanted a ferocious dog. Then they wouldn't have to put an animal through inhumane circumstances to make it ferocious. You should tell them mumma, that its barking disturbs you at night and they should set it free."
Mummy," I really can not say anything because they are your father's subordinates. Its a political situation."
So I can not do anything. Every night I have to sit and hear an animal's agony and I can not do anything. I now understand why I have such a hard time in India. Why I hate being home. Because every corner you turn here, an injustice is being meted out. And there is nothing I can do about it.
If I go out of the house, there are swarms of beggars, some mutilated some not, begging for life. You can either give them money or understand that giving them money encourages the begging companies that mutilates people to make them more successful beggars and deprive this beggar of a day's meal. You see horses being whipped like crazy on carts. If one falls because of the load, they whip it till it gets up or dies.
While boarding the train to Jhansi from Delhi, I heard a man's piteous cries. He was begging someone to stop doing whatever they were doing. I do not even remember. Why? Because I shut out his sound from my ears. I looked away so I would not see what was happening. What could I do? I was with my family. I couldn't really go to a policeman because in all probability it was a policeman who was harassing the man. In any case if a girl who looked moderately attractive approached them they would just leer at me and try to touch me.
I am too weak to be fine here. I do not have the courage to stand up and do something. especially because there is no way I can do anything without getting myself molested/arrested, something like that.
And today, the bubble I build at home was burst too. Now every evening a dog's barks shall remind me how I do nothing for my country. How, many people and animals shall have gory fates before the elite Indian gets his/her act together and cleans out the country.
Is it weird that I don't like going home?
But today as I was walking with my mother in our driveway I realized this is not why I stay inside the house. As I joined my mother in her evening walk, I heard a dog bark. continuously. It was irritating but I did not think much of it. Then my mother told me that the people who live in the other side of the house owned a black labrador they kept in a cage.
Me, " why do they keep it in a cage?!"
Mummy, "So that it would grow up to be ferocious."
Me, " Why, that's ridiculous. That too a labrador. They should have gotten a Doberman if they wanted a ferocious dog. Then they wouldn't have to put an animal through inhumane circumstances to make it ferocious. You should tell them mumma, that its barking disturbs you at night and they should set it free."
Mummy," I really can not say anything because they are your father's subordinates. Its a political situation."
So I can not do anything. Every night I have to sit and hear an animal's agony and I can not do anything. I now understand why I have such a hard time in India. Why I hate being home. Because every corner you turn here, an injustice is being meted out. And there is nothing I can do about it.
If I go out of the house, there are swarms of beggars, some mutilated some not, begging for life. You can either give them money or understand that giving them money encourages the begging companies that mutilates people to make them more successful beggars and deprive this beggar of a day's meal. You see horses being whipped like crazy on carts. If one falls because of the load, they whip it till it gets up or dies.
While boarding the train to Jhansi from Delhi, I heard a man's piteous cries. He was begging someone to stop doing whatever they were doing. I do not even remember. Why? Because I shut out his sound from my ears. I looked away so I would not see what was happening. What could I do? I was with my family. I couldn't really go to a policeman because in all probability it was a policeman who was harassing the man. In any case if a girl who looked moderately attractive approached them they would just leer at me and try to touch me.
I am too weak to be fine here. I do not have the courage to stand up and do something. especially because there is no way I can do anything without getting myself molested/arrested, something like that.
And today, the bubble I build at home was burst too. Now every evening a dog's barks shall remind me how I do nothing for my country. How, many people and animals shall have gory fates before the elite Indian gets his/her act together and cleans out the country.
Is it weird that I don't like going home?