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[sparklexmotion]

Welcome back. I'm just going to jump right into this months thought. As a Christian woman, I believe that it is important for me to "train" to be a great wife. That might sound a lot lamer than I actually intended it to, but basically, I am preparing myself to fully stand behind my husband. It might be extremely unfeminist of me to not want to be

Comments

[sheisyrmarrow]

marriages fall apart for all sorts of reasons. i'm sure it is true to say that your potential husband would feel hurt if you tried to "outdo" him, but i think any wife could easily feel the same when her husband's goals/successes exceed her own- i don't think males corner the market on resentment! on another note, i think that maybe expecting the husband to be the breadwinner can cause the husband to feel pressured, or like he has to attain some goal that might be unrealistic for him. i think men can also feel respected and needed for things other than their breadwinning, too. i think that something that christian women would do well to consider is the fact that being a good christian wife DOES mean supporting your husband in all ways, of course, but certainly doesn't mean allowing your husband to think he is "supreme" because of that- husbands are called to love their wives as christ loved the church (a.k.a. the body of believers)- and christ gave up EVERYTHING for the church. also, touching on feminism, i don't think what feminism really calls for, at least reasonable feminism, is putting women at the top and men at the bottom. feminism, in it's truest sense, means equality, really- in my opinion, scripture does that, too. (Galatians 3:26-29, "You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.")

this is semi-unrelated, but from a christian perspective, what does it even mean to have "intense career goals", i wonder (it's a thought that's been rolling around in my head these days)? i think all christians should work toward their callings and work with what God has gifted them with, but that doesn't necessarily mean a successful career by any means, i wouldn't say- blessings, as i don't have to tell you, come in all kinds of ways, and the truest blessings are rarely monetary, and our earthly comfort is certainly never promised. having intense career goals, i would say, can be pretty darn dangerous, simply because of the risk factor of your job cutting into your family/friends/priorities/spiritual life. (not that is HAS to, or even always does, but regardless, the temptation is msot definitely there). in addition, i think it's important for christians to honestly evaluate why they choose a profession/vocation/ANYTHING they involve themselves in, and what their motives actually are: if it is truly serving God and fulfilling a purpose, then that would be ideal; but so often it becomes about money/status/etc.

just some thoughts =)

[sparklexmotion]

Nicole, I enjoy your thoughts but I think you took my entry the wrong way. I am not by any means sacrificing myself NOW for a husdband that I don't even have. I'm not saying that women should "forget college" because they don't need it. I also think that women CAN be the breadwinner and should be if their husband is going to support that and not feel un-needed. I'm reading this book now and it's amazing to the inner lives of men and what they're really feeling. It's definitely preparing me for relationships on all levels and it's Christianity based.

And yes, I do not think that anyone should downplay his or her desires, blessings, talents, or gifts from God, etc. I just feel that two people with "set in stone" goals are not going to be able to make a relationship work. Look at hollywood and the number of divorces that come when one partner suddenly becomes more famous. Or how about families that are forced to move for one persons career, uprooting the others. I, for one, am saying that if it comes down to it, I am going to support my husband. Yes, I can make career and life goals on my own, but I am not going to base my life affirmation on attaining them. Because for me, a healthy marriage and sense of faith are more important.