Title: auld lang syne (1/2)
Author:
sparkles_mouseFandom: Castle
Characters: Castle/Beckett
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Castle smiles, ruffling Ava's hair. She grunts softly but her little hands wrap around his back as if grounding herself to him, staying safe and warm. On the other end of the phone, Kate laughs, but there's something there; longing or regret and his eyes close. "You're not going to be home by midnight, are you"
The lights are dim upstairs, the elongated shadow of his body guiding him down the hall to the last bedroom on the left. There's a thump on the other end and he can't help but smile, pressing his ear against the door. The sheets and blankets rustle; a stuffed animal - maybe two - fall onto the floor. He counts to five in his head before pushing open the door and stepping into the quiet, leaving behind the music and laughter from the party below.
The room is nearly black with the exception of the stars and consolations reflected onto the ceiling from the light machine in the corner of the room; the one that rests just beyond his daughter's bedside, casting a tinted glow across her soft teal comforter. She had refused the night light for the past couple of years now, but had agreed on the night sky, counting the stars when she couldn't sleep, learning the names of the constellations and repeating them over and over again after he told them to her. They lost meaning soon enough until she had surprised him one morning, inserting Hydra and Libra and Mensa into a conversation about hopping from one to another in her dreams, making the sky an even bigger place for the heavens. It was a tale weaved of creation and imagination and Kate had laughed as the excitement in their daughter bubbled to the surface, smile hidden behind the rim of her coffee cup because while she looked all Beckett, her personality was Castle to a tee.
Castle watches his little girl in bed now, covers half off of her, dark braided hair sticking out on her pillow. He knows she's still awake despite her pretending otherwise; her breaths are too light, she squirms a little too much. She's smart enough to know that she sleeps half out of the covers even in winter, but the positioning is wrong. He steps out of his shoes, feet sinking into the plush rug as he climbs onto the bed. He brushes his hand over her back, soothing her. She sighs, but doesn't settle; she'll play this game for hours if he lets her and really, there's only one thing left for him to do -
He drops his hands to her ribs, a peel of giggles vibrating in the room as he tickles her. She squirms and kicks and she sounds so much like Kate when she laughs, uninhibited and light and so beautiful that his heart clenches.
"Daddy," she gasps, "daddy, stop!"
His hands drop and she looks up, her braid half undone, her cheeks rosy. He can make out one of the constellations in the shadowed irises of her eyes - Scorpius, he thinks - so dark, so full of life. She works at catching her breath, little inhales that don't diminish the smile.
"I thought I put you to bed hours ago, AJ."
She lifts a shoulder in a shrug, blowing the hair out of her face. She's grown so much in the past year, become her own little person. Part him, part Kate, some parts all AJ that neither of them know where it comes from. She climbs onto his stomach, her knobby knees digging into his sides. "I tried, daddy. But look." She pulls a tiara out from under her bedspread, all pink and feathery, lit up in sparkles with the words Happy New Year. "Gram gave me this and said I could wear it when the balls fall down."
"Oh she did, huh?" He kisses her forehead. "Midnight is too late for you, baby. If you go to sleep now, we can wake up early and I'll make you pancakes and eggs and mommy will make you her famous French toast." Her nose twitches, considering. "But," he draws out, "if you stay up, you're gonna be so tired in the morning that you're gonna want to sleep until it's time to go out with Gram and Grandpa."
"I don't know, daddy. Grandpa said we can go to that really fun place, the one with all the food in the rows where we do it alone without waiters and they have, oh daddy, they have so many different kinds of pancakes and Grandpa lets me taste all of them!"
Yeah, he is so not going to win this one.
His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out, smiling at Kate's photo on the screen. He turns it around and holds it up in front of his daughter's face. The smile lights from within her and she reaches for the phone. "Mommy! I wanna answer! Please?"
Kate is going to kill him. But the way AJ is looking at him, the way her eyes sparkle at the knowledge that her mother is on the other end; well, he's a sucker. For both his wife and his daughter. He hands the iPhone over and she presses her thumb over the answer button.
"Hi mommy!"
He doesn't hear what Kate's saying, just the smooth cadence of her words, the voice she uses solely for AJ. It had surprised him the first time he heard it; he always knew she'd be an incredible mother but it was on their daughter's first night home - the cold chill of winter lost inside the warmth of the loft - that he heard the change in her tone, the soothing whisper when she spoke as if being a mother was what she was always meant to do.
He looks down at AJ, the band around her hair loose and stretched and he pulls it out. It untangles in his hands, long and wild, and she reaches up, wrapping a strand around her finger, twirling and twirling while she laughs at something Kate says on the other line. He's never seen her do that before and it's so Beckett like that he wants to wrap it up and put it away, take it out years down the line when his youngest has gone to college and-
"Yeah, daddy's still here." He snaps his attention back to the conversation at hand. "K. I love you too. Mwa."
She hands off the phone to him without a word, resting her head on his chest.
"Hey."
"You know Ava's going to be a terror in the morning, right?"
Castle smiles, ruffling the girl's hair. She grunts softly but her little hands wrap around his back as if grounding herself to him, staying safe and warm. "Then it's a good thing she's with our parents all day." On the other end, Kate laughs, but there's something there; longing or regret and his eyes close. "You're not going to be home by midnight, are you?"
"There was an accident on I-80, traffic is backed up. I probably won't be home until two or three, depending on how fast it clears. I'm sorry, Castle."
"Hey, it's okay. We knew there was a chance you wouldn't be here."
"Everything going okay?"
"Your father brought a date."
"He told me he was going to. She works at the courthouse. What did your mom think of her?"
Castle lifts his knees, Ava's body curling up into a ball on top of him. The toes of her pink footie pajamas hit his thighs and he wraps an arm around her. "Said she was stuffy, uninteresting and your father deserves someone who wouldn't make even the Pope pass out from boredom at dinner."
Kate snorts out a laugh. "From what I remember Martha said the same thing about my dad that first disastrous dinner we had as a couple. You know if I said any of that to him about a woman he wouldn't listen. But the moment your mother says it-"
"Yes, it is still one of life's greatest mysteries that they became such good friends." He knows he needs to get off the phone. Kate's driving with Ryan beside her, Ava's still awake, his guests are still downstairs. But all he can do is listen to her, the soft sounds of her breathing, the hum of traffic and ambulances on her end of the line. "I miss you."
"Me too. Both of you. Think you can wait up for me?"
"Beckett," Ryan whines, and it comes through the phone clear and uncomfortable. "Come on. I don't want to hear you and Castle discuss whatever it is you and Castle discuss in places where it's not appropriate."
Castle laughs. "Tell Honeymilk that I haven't forgotten New Year's three years ago. Pretty sure Sean was conceived on my office couch." He shivers dramatically. "Sometimes I still see the images. I really should have invested in brain bleach after that party."
"Daddy?" Ava lifts her head. "What's conceived? What did Seany do to the couch?"
Kate chokes out a laugh. "Oh good luck with that one, Castle."
"Sean didn't do anything to the couch, baby," he says, rubbing his hand over Ava's back.
"But what's the other word mean?"
"It has a lot of different meanings. We'll pick five new words and learn them this week, okay?"
"Oh yes! Okay." She rests her head back down, content and happy.
"She is definitely your daughter," he mutters. "Needs an answer for everything."
"Like you don't?"
"Touché."
"I have to go. I'll be home as soon as I can. Love you."
"Love you too."
He ends the call, brushing his lips over Ava's forehead. "Okay, you spoke to mom, AJ. Bedtime."
She pops back up, hitting his knees awkwardly and she scrambles into a sitting position. She pushes the hair away from her face, brown eyes set and determined and his lips lift, because he knows that look, fell in love with that look over a decade ago. "But daddy, I'm not sleepy. I think I'll be able to sleep if I can see the people at the party. Cause I wanna tell Patty about the story in my head. The bones one."
He smiles at the nickname she had given to James Patterson a year ago during one of Castle's poker games; the older writer had smiled, thrown in his hand and spent the next round in the living room with Ava, concocting stories about space and stars, magic and mystery. He had become her favorite aside from the boys and maybe Castle's a sucker, but he doesn't want to take that away from her. He loves how much she loves stories, how she loves being around the people that care the most about her. Her face is lit with so much excitement and anticipation and it's not like he has a date for New Year's anymore since his wife is stuck in the car somewhere between Pennsylvania and New Jersey.
"If I let you come downstairs you have to promise that when it's time to get up in the morning, you don't cry because you're tired. You don't get grumpy with Gram and Grandpa even though you're going to have a long day out with them. If I let you stay up for the celebration like a big girl, you have to act like a big girl." He holds out his hand to her. "Deal?"
She ignores his hand, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, smacking his cheek with a kiss. "Thank you, daddy," she whispers. "I promise I'll be good."
+++
Minutes to midnight, the loft is crowded with people - family, friends, and business associates - the music quiet over the fairly tipsy conversations of his guests. The TV is on and muted, Times Square festivities broadcast across the screen, an entire world of partying and white snow just beyond his windows.
Castle stands alone in the kitchen, leaning back against the fridge with a glass of champagne in hand as he takes in the room. His daughters are on the couch, full of animation and whispered secrets, a bond strong despite their age difference. Ava rests her on head on Alexis' shoulder both of them listening intently to something Alexis' boyfriend is saying and then both his girls laugh, joyous and so full of life and he's not sure he's even been more grateful. The counter on the TV signifies it's almost time and he glances at the door, expecting, wanting, needing Kate to walk in before the clock strikes.
His phone buzzes in his pocket, startling him and he takes it out.
Stop staring at the door. I won't be home in time.
It makes him smile how well she knows him and he slides his finger across the screen to unlock it. Isn't it illegal to text while driving, Detective?
He moves into the living room while he waits for her response, unmuting the television. Streamers and confetti are already being thrown out on the city streets and he should have rigged it so it fell from the ceiling tonight; he'll have to remember that for next year.
Standstill traffic but you're right, it is illegal. Maybe I'll let you read me my rights later.
Handcuffs?
Ava jumps off of Alexis, runs to give Jim a kiss and the loft is suddenly a whirlwind, people moving closer to the TV, flutes of champagne held high as the anticipation of the countdown begins. The ball shines silver and bright, lights and music and celebrities flashing from location to location. Footage from London five hours ago, Paris six. Parties and old friends everywhere despite the time.
His phone buzzes, less than a minute to go.
House to ourselves tomorrow. You're on. Almost midnight. Give our girl a kiss for me.
Shit. How does she know? She does have that annoying mother spidey-sense. Or a nanny cam. He had teased her about that before but - no, she wouldn't have done that without telling him.
What? I mean, why would I go upstairs when everyone is downstairs?
She sends back a message quickly like it's been ready to go. It's a picture of Lanie and Jenny that must have been sent to Ryan but how did - oh. In the background are his daughters, wide awake and so very recently taken.
Careful, Castle. There's a penalty for perjuring yourself. Looks like you might be the one in handcuffs.
He wants to respond when Ava jumps into his arms. He barrels back a step before lifting her into his arms, a chorus of decreasing numbers filling the room.
Eighteen. Seventeen. Sixteen.
She stares at the TV with amazement, watching the brightly lit numbers counting down on the screen. Her mouth moves, trying to keep up, her grasp around him tight as the room continues with their countdown.
Eleven. Ten. Nine.
Castle glances at the door one last time, knows Kate won't be walking in but feels the longing clench in his chest. His daughter is a vice around him and it's enough the moment he hears the excitement in her voice. He counts quietly with her, brushing his lips over her cheek.
Three. Two.
One.
Fireworks erupt outside, colorful and exuberant. Someone has turned up the stereo in the loft, Auld Lang Syne singing through the speakers, flutes of champagne clinking together, a chorus of Happy New Year's making their rounds.
Ava turns her head to look at him, resting her palms on his cheeks. "It's the new year now?"
Castle adjusts the tiara on her head, grinning. "It is. Happy New Year, AJ."
"Happy New Year!" She kisses him on the lips. "Can I wear my crown to bed?"
"Don't push it."
She huffs out a sigh, the exhaustion starting to get the better of her. "K." She rests her head in the crook of his neck. "Is mommy gonna be home soon?"
"Not soon enough for you. You'll see her in the morning when you wake up." He presses a kiss into her hair. "I love you, AJ."
"I know, daddy. Me too."
Her weight is heavy in his arms as she settles, and he lays her on one of the empty chairs in the living room. She curls up, crown falling out of her tangled hair and he snaps a picture, sending it to Kate. You wouldn't have been able to resist her either. Happy New Year, Kate.
She is pretty hard to resist. Like father like daughter. Happy New Year, Castle. See you soon.