Please read.
Please read these, I need input on them. If you won't want to read most of them, at least read the poems. I want people to comment on them. I need the criticizism. Please.
These are Quotes, Poems, etc. of how I feel/felt about certain people in the past 2 years. Also, there are a few things in here that remind me of myself. I am putting them in here to show people the REAL ME. I have always been scared to show people the real me or all of me. But now I am doing it. Judge all you want, leave comments all you want. Negative or positive. They are worth it.
You walked in the door and the feeling came rushing back... You touched me and I fell again... I keep trying to push these feelings out but your face comes to mind and the way you held me and I can't help but feel for you... and it makes me so mad because you don't know what you do to me and if you did im sure you wouldn't feel the same... So for now I guess I'll just keep trying to keep you out but every time I see you everything I've been able to push out comes rushing back in... I would choose not to see you but I can't we are too good of friends to begin with and I know I never had you but now would be a good time to step in.
The whole big brother, little sister thing was cute for a while but now I want more.. I want more than just friends... I want you... all of you... I don't want to be just the little sister of your best friend who you see as your own... I want that whole holding hands, kisses at random, lets be together forever kind of love... I know it would be different and hard to figure out but we can just work through and you don't have to worry about breaking up and ruining your relationship with my brother nor me... Cause I want to be with you forever and even if it doesn't work out I won't have any grudges or regrets because I will have been able to have at least tried it with you and I won't have to wonder if it would have ever worked with us.. Just please... let's try this.
Dear Boy,
Please know that I might be too shy to kiss you at first, but please don’t be afraid to kiss me. I won’t slap you or push you away. I'm sure your kisses will be perfect. If I cry, please know it isn’t because of you, just hold me close, and I’ll heal quickly. And if it is because of you, I’ll heal just the same.
Please tell me if anything I do bothers you, or something just doesn’t sit right. I would like you to be honest with me, always. I will try my best to be kind and love you dearly for all that you are, without expecting too much from you. Thank you for listening; this is all that I ask.
"Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will."
I'm feeling nervous trying to be so perfect, because I know you're worth it.
Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight, I need help believing you're with me tonight. My wildest dreams could not forsee, lying beside you with you wanting me.
I think love is... when you can lay there with someone, for hours, just talking and be bored. Someone that loves every imperfection about you that you absolutely hate... when you find true safety in their arms and would kill anyone for hurting them.
You know you've been hurt too many times when you open your eyes and all you can see is tears.
You watch her walk down the hall, big smile, laughing, seems so happy. You would never guess that she goes home and cries herself to sleep every night.
All those feelings, those yesterday's feelings will all be lost in time.
I can't care to worry I'm feeling so lonely, breaking apart all this love in my heart.
'I love you' means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you, just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you're down, not just when you're fun to be with. 'I love you' means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, hoping that you feel the same way for me.
I want a guy who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me. Who would let me sleep on their chest. Who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say and do at the right times.Who would let me gossip to him and would just smile and agree with everything I said. Who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.Who would take me to the park and put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. Who would make out with me in the pouring rain. Who would run his fingers through my hair even if it was dirty. Wh would never be afraid to say 'i love you' in front of his friends. Who would argue of silly things with me then make up. Who would tell me I'm beautiful, but not too often. But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never lie to me or break my heart.
It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still wants to.
I needed someone, no one was there... I asked for help, no one answered... I begged for forgiveness, no one cared... I screamed for attention, no one took notice... I cried for you, no one dried my tears...
People always tell me to get over him, but maybe I don't want to because that would be like giving up. He has been the one I've wanted for a while. He has been in all my thoughts and dreams, and people have always said never to give up on your dreams.
I wanna be the girl you see walking and you turn to your friends and say "yeah, she's my girl"
I love walking in the rain... cuz then no one knows I'm crying.
So you love me? You just don't want me?
Te amo con todo mi corazon...
10 DAYS
Only 10 days this year
Have changed my life forever
Picture here - Picture there
4 blurry pictures is all I have
To wait a few months to see them again
I don’t think I can
Craving for adventure and laughter
Only 10 days this year
Others see tears strolling down my face…
And wonder what’s going on
Only 10 days this year
Here in a blink, gone in another
It was only 10 days
But it seemed like forever
I wasted two months and only talked for 10 days
Only 10 days this year
Have changed my life forever
8.25.03
SHE’S ONLY A PART OF ME…
Am I being selfish?
We were together 24/7 till you came
It seems like you’re taking part of me away
I’m not complete unless all of me is there
That’s what I worry about everyday
What if you two just end up leaving me?
A part of me is happy with you while the other is crying
Wishing it never happened
Did I make a mistake?
Of telling to pick you over another?
Does that mean I’m selfish?
That part of me said we’ll always be cool
I don’t believe it though, cuz what if it doesn’t work out that way?
To me, it’s starting to seem like I said to pick you so it would seem like I had you too.
But I guess it didn’t work out that way.
While you two have each other I feel like nothing.
I’m sick of it. I don’t want to feel like nothing.
Is that selfish?
But it doesn’t matter now.
You belong together.
I can find other things to do.
Take part of me away.
I’ll Get Over It.
11.09.03
DISGUISE
So these words are for you
Every single solitary line, crafted with love and care
Red like the very best wine
Every word has been chosen carefully
Message has been disguised
A boy I know certainly has one destiny before your very own eyes
Most girls think you’re cute
I think you’re more than that to me
Really kind and caring
Eventually we ARE meant to be.
12.10.03
"LOVE"
You are all I think about when there is nothing to think about.
But then I wonder why I like you so much anyways.
So then it goes on, thinking I want you so much, but it’ll never work out.
No matter how much I wish upon that star in the sky…
I’m not happy, but I don’t think I’m jealous either.
Is this what it feels like?
I mean, to have your heart believe something to find out it was all just a lie?
I’m afraid to share my feelings, worried someone might not understand
Or just tell me I’m having puppy love.
And maybe I am. But this doesn’t feel like any kind of puppy love I’ve had before…
I don’t think you meant to do this to me, it just happened that way.
Maybe that’s how it’s mean to be.
Both of us going in different directions, living our separate ways.
Or maybe this might be a test to prove if truly are meant to be.
You said you wanted me, and I believed you.
You said you loved me, I believed that too.
I guess "love" doesn’t work for everybody
But in the end, I’ll be waiting for you…
Always.
4.27.04
I’M NOT SURE
Maybe you’re not worth it anymore.
Maybe I’m just wasting my time thinking about you.
I don’t know.
I’m not sure of anything anymore, and it’s all because of you.
Sometimes I think that this was all just a dream.
I like you a lot and I want to like you.
But I don’t think I can.
I wish there was somebody I could talk to.
I know there is somebody out there, somewhere who knows how I feel.
But I don’t have time to find them.
I need them now.
I hate this feeling.
It’s so painful and confusing.
Sometimes I wish I never would’ve met you.
I know it’s harsh, but it’s the truth.
There are so many other people in the world, why does it have to be you?
I don’t know if you’re just full of lies or I’m just looking past the truth so I won’t get hurt.
I like you.
A lot.
But I don’t think you will ever understand how much.
I don’t know.
I’m not sure of anything anymore…
And it’s all because of you.
5.8.04
LET’S JUST…
You used to be all I thought about.
You were always part of my dreams.
But I’m over that now.
Let’s just be friends.
That’s all I truly wanted us to be, and I wished for a little more.
But maybe we’re just better off this way.
Maybe you were just a waste of time, not worth is anymore… but you taught me something.
No guy is worth my tears, no matter how much I liked him.
I’m sick of hoping, wishing, and praying something might happen one day.
I’m done wondering if you ever liked me that way.
I know you are probably happy about all of this, but I hope you don’t mind if we’re still friends.
I hope it’s not awkward, me looking at you, knowing I once liked you so much.
Or you, looking at me, thinking that you somewhat a part of me.
Let’s just forget about anything and everything that happened before now.
I wish everything is good between us.
I’m over you now…
Let’s just be friends…
That’s all I truly wanted us to be…
5.5.04
TOO YOUNG
I think about it all the time.
Ya know, wondering if he is the one.
I get so confused about it though.
What if I’m too young?
There are so many things I want to tell you.
So many things I dream of saying.
But like I said, what if I’m too young?
To say I love you to you kinda scares me.
I would love to say it and really truly mean it, but I’m not absolutely sure if I would.
All because I’m scared I’m too young to know what it really means.
I thought you only liked because you felt pity on me.
But after sometime, I hope you truly like me, and not think…
I’m too young.
People say age doesn’t matter.
I think they are all hypocrites.
Because if they knew our age, they’d go behind our backs and say shit.
Like I’m too young for you…
8.6.04
OVER AND THROUGH
A litte flirting now and then
I didn't think it'd lead to me and you
I didn't know we would have been
You probably thought the same things too
A lot of fun times here and there
I didn't know I'd start to care.
I remember the first time we talked
Everything I said, you though was gay.
I'll always remember that one day.
I also remember we came in at six from sleeping outside all night.
Before we fell asleep all we did was argue and fight.
People would get mad if we wanted just us.
But before they said, we must be a must.
We were together, but now we're apart.
I said it's cuz I wouldn't be back for a while.
You said I live too far away, 100 miles.
At first I felt really bad.
Everytime I heard your name it'd be sad.
But I'm kinda relieved we're not together now.
We don't have to deny it anymore.
I don't like to hide it.
We're done, over and through.
There's no more me and you.
Let's be friends.
11.03.04
Scars are stories, history written on the body.
Can't shout, can't scream, hurt myself to get the pain out.
Our scars have the power to remind us that the past was real...
I'll be your scratches and your cuts. So I'll break a little trust. You'll be my blood, my bruise, when I have everything to lose.
There is a certain beauty in bleeding that cannot be compared to anything else.
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds. It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me.
I've got something up my sleeve, that I don't want to show you, cuz everytime I bleed I make a food of me. These bandages cover more than scrapes, cuts, and bruises from regrets and mistakes.
Whats one cut on your wrist, one lie being told, one promise being broken, one life being taken?
These are Quotes, Poems, etc. of how I feel/felt about certain people in the past 2 years. Also, there are a few things in here that remind me of myself. I am putting them in here to show people the REAL ME. I have always been scared to show people the real me or all of me. But now I am doing it. Judge all you want, leave comments all you want. Negative or positive. They are worth it.
You walked in the door and the feeling came rushing back... You touched me and I fell again... I keep trying to push these feelings out but your face comes to mind and the way you held me and I can't help but feel for you... and it makes me so mad because you don't know what you do to me and if you did im sure you wouldn't feel the same... So for now I guess I'll just keep trying to keep you out but every time I see you everything I've been able to push out comes rushing back in... I would choose not to see you but I can't we are too good of friends to begin with and I know I never had you but now would be a good time to step in.
The whole big brother, little sister thing was cute for a while but now I want more.. I want more than just friends... I want you... all of you... I don't want to be just the little sister of your best friend who you see as your own... I want that whole holding hands, kisses at random, lets be together forever kind of love... I know it would be different and hard to figure out but we can just work through and you don't have to worry about breaking up and ruining your relationship with my brother nor me... Cause I want to be with you forever and even if it doesn't work out I won't have any grudges or regrets because I will have been able to have at least tried it with you and I won't have to wonder if it would have ever worked with us.. Just please... let's try this.
Dear Boy,
Please know that I might be too shy to kiss you at first, but please don’t be afraid to kiss me. I won’t slap you or push you away. I'm sure your kisses will be perfect. If I cry, please know it isn’t because of you, just hold me close, and I’ll heal quickly. And if it is because of you, I’ll heal just the same.
Please tell me if anything I do bothers you, or something just doesn’t sit right. I would like you to be honest with me, always. I will try my best to be kind and love you dearly for all that you are, without expecting too much from you. Thank you for listening; this is all that I ask.
"Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will."
I'm feeling nervous trying to be so perfect, because I know you're worth it.
Kiss me too fiercely, hold me too tight, I need help believing you're with me tonight. My wildest dreams could not forsee, lying beside you with you wanting me.
I think love is... when you can lay there with someone, for hours, just talking and be bored. Someone that loves every imperfection about you that you absolutely hate... when you find true safety in their arms and would kill anyone for hurting them.
You know you've been hurt too many times when you open your eyes and all you can see is tears.
You watch her walk down the hall, big smile, laughing, seems so happy. You would never guess that she goes home and cries herself to sleep every night.
All those feelings, those yesterday's feelings will all be lost in time.
I can't care to worry I'm feeling so lonely, breaking apart all this love in my heart.
'I love you' means that I accept you for the person that you are, and that I do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I do not expect perfection from you, just as you do not expect it from me. It means that I will love you and stand by you even through the worst of times. It means loving you when you're in a bad mood or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you're down, not just when you're fun to be with. 'I love you' means that I know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return only that you do not judge me for mine. It means dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly, hoping that you feel the same way for me.
I want a guy who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me. Who would let me sleep on their chest. Who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say and do at the right times.Who would let me gossip to him and would just smile and agree with everything I said. Who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.Who would take me to the park and put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. Who would make out with me in the pouring rain. Who would run his fingers through my hair even if it was dirty. Wh would never be afraid to say 'i love you' in front of his friends. Who would argue of silly things with me then make up. Who would tell me I'm beautiful, but not too often. But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never lie to me or break my heart.
It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still wants to.
I needed someone, no one was there... I asked for help, no one answered... I begged for forgiveness, no one cared... I screamed for attention, no one took notice... I cried for you, no one dried my tears...
People always tell me to get over him, but maybe I don't want to because that would be like giving up. He has been the one I've wanted for a while. He has been in all my thoughts and dreams, and people have always said never to give up on your dreams.
I wanna be the girl you see walking and you turn to your friends and say "yeah, she's my girl"
I love walking in the rain... cuz then no one knows I'm crying.
So you love me? You just don't want me?
Te amo con todo mi corazon...
10 DAYS
Only 10 days this year
Have changed my life forever
Picture here - Picture there
4 blurry pictures is all I have
To wait a few months to see them again
I don’t think I can
Craving for adventure and laughter
Only 10 days this year
Others see tears strolling down my face…
And wonder what’s going on
Only 10 days this year
Here in a blink, gone in another
It was only 10 days
But it seemed like forever
I wasted two months and only talked for 10 days
Only 10 days this year
Have changed my life forever
8.25.03
SHE’S ONLY A PART OF ME…
Am I being selfish?
We were together 24/7 till you came
It seems like you’re taking part of me away
I’m not complete unless all of me is there
That’s what I worry about everyday
What if you two just end up leaving me?
A part of me is happy with you while the other is crying
Wishing it never happened
Did I make a mistake?
Of telling to pick you over another?
Does that mean I’m selfish?
That part of me said we’ll always be cool
I don’t believe it though, cuz what if it doesn’t work out that way?
To me, it’s starting to seem like I said to pick you so it would seem like I had you too.
But I guess it didn’t work out that way.
While you two have each other I feel like nothing.
I’m sick of it. I don’t want to feel like nothing.
Is that selfish?
But it doesn’t matter now.
You belong together.
I can find other things to do.
Take part of me away.
I’ll Get Over It.
11.09.03
DISGUISE
So these words are for you
Every single solitary line, crafted with love and care
Red like the very best wine
Every word has been chosen carefully
Message has been disguised
A boy I know certainly has one destiny before your very own eyes
Most girls think you’re cute
I think you’re more than that to me
Really kind and caring
Eventually we ARE meant to be.
12.10.03
"LOVE"
You are all I think about when there is nothing to think about.
But then I wonder why I like you so much anyways.
So then it goes on, thinking I want you so much, but it’ll never work out.
No matter how much I wish upon that star in the sky…
I’m not happy, but I don’t think I’m jealous either.
Is this what it feels like?
I mean, to have your heart believe something to find out it was all just a lie?
I’m afraid to share my feelings, worried someone might not understand
Or just tell me I’m having puppy love.
And maybe I am. But this doesn’t feel like any kind of puppy love I’ve had before…
I don’t think you meant to do this to me, it just happened that way.
Maybe that’s how it’s mean to be.
Both of us going in different directions, living our separate ways.
Or maybe this might be a test to prove if truly are meant to be.
You said you wanted me, and I believed you.
You said you loved me, I believed that too.
I guess "love" doesn’t work for everybody
But in the end, I’ll be waiting for you…
Always.
4.27.04
I’M NOT SURE
Maybe you’re not worth it anymore.
Maybe I’m just wasting my time thinking about you.
I don’t know.
I’m not sure of anything anymore, and it’s all because of you.
Sometimes I think that this was all just a dream.
I like you a lot and I want to like you.
But I don’t think I can.
I wish there was somebody I could talk to.
I know there is somebody out there, somewhere who knows how I feel.
But I don’t have time to find them.
I need them now.
I hate this feeling.
It’s so painful and confusing.
Sometimes I wish I never would’ve met you.
I know it’s harsh, but it’s the truth.
There are so many other people in the world, why does it have to be you?
I don’t know if you’re just full of lies or I’m just looking past the truth so I won’t get hurt.
I like you.
A lot.
But I don’t think you will ever understand how much.
I don’t know.
I’m not sure of anything anymore…
And it’s all because of you.
5.8.04
LET’S JUST…
You used to be all I thought about.
You were always part of my dreams.
But I’m over that now.
Let’s just be friends.
That’s all I truly wanted us to be, and I wished for a little more.
But maybe we’re just better off this way.
Maybe you were just a waste of time, not worth is anymore… but you taught me something.
No guy is worth my tears, no matter how much I liked him.
I’m sick of hoping, wishing, and praying something might happen one day.
I’m done wondering if you ever liked me that way.
I know you are probably happy about all of this, but I hope you don’t mind if we’re still friends.
I hope it’s not awkward, me looking at you, knowing I once liked you so much.
Or you, looking at me, thinking that you somewhat a part of me.
Let’s just forget about anything and everything that happened before now.
I wish everything is good between us.
I’m over you now…
Let’s just be friends…
That’s all I truly wanted us to be…
5.5.04
TOO YOUNG
I think about it all the time.
Ya know, wondering if he is the one.
I get so confused about it though.
What if I’m too young?
There are so many things I want to tell you.
So many things I dream of saying.
But like I said, what if I’m too young?
To say I love you to you kinda scares me.
I would love to say it and really truly mean it, but I’m not absolutely sure if I would.
All because I’m scared I’m too young to know what it really means.
I thought you only liked because you felt pity on me.
But after sometime, I hope you truly like me, and not think…
I’m too young.
People say age doesn’t matter.
I think they are all hypocrites.
Because if they knew our age, they’d go behind our backs and say shit.
Like I’m too young for you…
8.6.04
OVER AND THROUGH
A litte flirting now and then
I didn't think it'd lead to me and you
I didn't know we would have been
You probably thought the same things too
A lot of fun times here and there
I didn't know I'd start to care.
I remember the first time we talked
Everything I said, you though was gay.
I'll always remember that one day.
I also remember we came in at six from sleeping outside all night.
Before we fell asleep all we did was argue and fight.
People would get mad if we wanted just us.
But before they said, we must be a must.
We were together, but now we're apart.
I said it's cuz I wouldn't be back for a while.
You said I live too far away, 100 miles.
At first I felt really bad.
Everytime I heard your name it'd be sad.
But I'm kinda relieved we're not together now.
We don't have to deny it anymore.
I don't like to hide it.
We're done, over and through.
There's no more me and you.
Let's be friends.
11.03.04
Scars are stories, history written on the body.
Can't shout, can't scream, hurt myself to get the pain out.
Our scars have the power to remind us that the past was real...
I'll be your scratches and your cuts. So I'll break a little trust. You'll be my blood, my bruise, when I have everything to lose.
There is a certain beauty in bleeding that cannot be compared to anything else.
Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds. It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me.
I've got something up my sleeve, that I don't want to show you, cuz everytime I bleed I make a food of me. These bandages cover more than scrapes, cuts, and bruises from regrets and mistakes.
Whats one cut on your wrist, one lie being told, one promise being broken, one life being taken?