Am writing this as a seperate entry...
...because it didn't seem to fit completely with my previous one.
This week hasn't been a good week for me so far. My period was a few days late so the PMDD symptoms have been really bad over the past few days for the first time in months. I've made no progress whatsoever on the story I was writing, have been feeling totally uninspired unfortunately.
The worst thing though that's happened this week is that I've come to realise that once again I've given too much of myself to one project and am left feeling rung out and very lonely. The online community I've been referring to lately is something I've been heavily involved in since it was first set up 11 months ago. I don't really want to get too much into it here, but to sum it up I've worked hard (along with several others) to get this thing off the ground, we've faced some opposition (basically because its a free speech site and some people didn't want free speech cutting both ways) and I've really thrown myself into it. In recent weeks though I've found myself feeling like I don't really belong there anymore. I realise that I need to back off a little, and not give so much of myself to that place anymore, but in doing so I'm left with a big hole to fill.
I just don't understand why I allow myself to keep making the same mistake. I know that I have a tendency to get obsessive about things, but still I ignore the warning signs for a long time before I allow myself to accept that things are getting to the crunch point and by then its usually too late. Everytime this happens I'm left with a big hole to fill and feeling so lonely its almost too painful to think about.
This week hasn't been a good week for me so far. My period was a few days late so the PMDD symptoms have been really bad over the past few days for the first time in months. I've made no progress whatsoever on the story I was writing, have been feeling totally uninspired unfortunately.
The worst thing though that's happened this week is that I've come to realise that once again I've given too much of myself to one project and am left feeling rung out and very lonely. The online community I've been referring to lately is something I've been heavily involved in since it was first set up 11 months ago. I don't really want to get too much into it here, but to sum it up I've worked hard (along with several others) to get this thing off the ground, we've faced some opposition (basically because its a free speech site and some people didn't want free speech cutting both ways) and I've really thrown myself into it. In recent weeks though I've found myself feeling like I don't really belong there anymore. I realise that I need to back off a little, and not give so much of myself to that place anymore, but in doing so I'm left with a big hole to fill.
I just don't understand why I allow myself to keep making the same mistake. I know that I have a tendency to get obsessive about things, but still I ignore the warning signs for a long time before I allow myself to accept that things are getting to the crunch point and by then its usually too late. Everytime this happens I'm left with a big hole to fill and feeling so lonely its almost too painful to think about.