Silver white winters that descend into snark
Around the internet where Portland people discuss such things alongside other non-Portlanders, I think we could save ourselves valuable time by acknowledging the following and never making comments like them ever again. These frequent comments include but may not be limited to:
The obnoxious: "You guys call [x] inches of snow bad? Around here in [place] we just call that [some diminuitive bullshit phrase]."
The Safer-Than-Thou: "Well, I can drive fine in snow, but it's the other idiots (often referred to as "Californians") all around me who think [insert descriptive text about SUVs, 4WD, etc.] will save them from ice that keep me off the roads."
The Educator: "Snow sux in PDX because [insert descriptive text about terrain/ elevation, lack of plows, no-salt-on-road laws, etc.]."
The Behind-the-Times: "ZOMG check out this video of some guy in Portland sliding his SUV around the street hitting all these parked cars!"
Feel free to comment and add your own.
I think that the following has been my favorite comment/ response so far on any message board (note the "obnoxious" part of the comment):
40BELOW: Up here in Canada, no one has tire chains - they're generally forbidden anywhere that has paved roads - and we manage to make it to work regardless. And two inches of snow registers as just slightly above a 'heavy frost.' Hell, you don't even have to clear your vehicle after that little.
It_really_does_glisten: That's Canadian snow. We're talking about American snow. Canadian snow is friendly, polite and apologetic. American snow is stupid, swaggering and obnoxious. Completely different species.
The obnoxious: "You guys call [x] inches of snow bad? Around here in [place] we just call that [some diminuitive bullshit phrase]."
The Safer-Than-Thou: "Well, I can drive fine in snow, but it's the other idiots (often referred to as "Californians") all around me who think [insert descriptive text about SUVs, 4WD, etc.] will save them from ice that keep me off the roads."
The Educator: "Snow sux in PDX because [insert descriptive text about terrain/ elevation, lack of plows, no-salt-on-road laws, etc.]."
The Behind-the-Times: "ZOMG check out this video of some guy in Portland sliding his SUV around the street hitting all these parked cars!"
Feel free to comment and add your own.
I think that the following has been my favorite comment/ response so far on any message board (note the "obnoxious" part of the comment):
40BELOW: Up here in Canada, no one has tire chains - they're generally forbidden anywhere that has paved roads - and we manage to make it to work regardless. And two inches of snow registers as just slightly above a 'heavy frost.' Hell, you don't even have to clear your vehicle after that little.
It_really_does_glisten: That's Canadian snow. We're talking about American snow. Canadian snow is friendly, polite and apologetic. American snow is stupid, swaggering and obnoxious. Completely different species.