Horror of Horrors!
As I stated in an update a million years ago (in the Cretaceous period), I purchased my lj account solely to view crappy fanfiction in marysues and deleterius. However, having been a former writer of said crappy fanfiction, I felt it necessary to dig some of the old "writing" up from the depths of my parents basement. I have been pouring over the stuff, even typing some of it up, for the past few hours. All I can say is.... what the fuck? I wrote the most hideous and bizarre "romance" fiction that I've ever read (and considering where I hang out on a daily basis, that's saying something).
Now, like many pre-teen and teenage females, I had a metric fuckton's worth of crushes on the popular actors/singers of the time. I tended to take the characters played by the various actors and write fiction about them, which is not unusual in and of itself. Apparently I had some kind of searingly hot crush on Val Kilmer at one point in time, because I have some particularly offensive stuff written about him. I based one story on his character Chris in Real Genius ; understandable actually as he's completely adorable in that movie. I think I took a step too far when I started a fic based on his character Madmartigan in Willow... you know, the movie where he plays a character who hasn't bathed in what appears to be the past century. I didn't let this little matter of filth get in my way when waxing poetic about his eyes however.... I described them as "icy blue as the glaciers that flowed across the plains of Greenland". Excuse me while I vomit copiously now.
I'm still in the process of wading through these suckers and typing them for "posterity" (read, to laugh uproariously about for years to come), so maybe I'll have some more stunning prose to share in the next few hours. Please continue waiting with bated breath.
Now, like many pre-teen and teenage females, I had a metric fuckton's worth of crushes on the popular actors/singers of the time. I tended to take the characters played by the various actors and write fiction about them, which is not unusual in and of itself. Apparently I had some kind of searingly hot crush on Val Kilmer at one point in time, because I have some particularly offensive stuff written about him. I based one story on his character Chris in Real Genius ; understandable actually as he's completely adorable in that movie. I think I took a step too far when I started a fic based on his character Madmartigan in Willow... you know, the movie where he plays a character who hasn't bathed in what appears to be the past century. I didn't let this little matter of filth get in my way when waxing poetic about his eyes however.... I described them as "icy blue as the glaciers that flowed across the plains of Greenland". Excuse me while I vomit copiously now.
I'm still in the process of wading through these suckers and typing them for "posterity" (read, to laugh uproariously about for years to come), so maybe I'll have some more stunning prose to share in the next few hours. Please continue waiting with bated breath.