HOLY CRAP.
So since the beginning of the season I've been hoping Dean's amulet would come back to him, and he'd happily wear it again, and things would carry on as normal (and it would probably never be mentioned again). For me it's the little details that matter the most, sometimes, and the amulet is one of those details that I find so important.
I had a feeling he'd get it back tonight. The flashback with littleSam (the fireworks thing? personal cannon confirmed, by the way, as well as Sam having a dog / liking dogs, and Mary giving Dean pie / him being a crazily affectionate child... and Ash's upset over Ellen and Jo was sort of hinting at it, also; they were just seriously throwing my personal cannon out there left and right tonight!) made me pretty sure it was coming, somehow. I don't know, it just did.
And then? They rip my heart out and literally throw it away. I mean, I have no words for that, right there. I get the sentiment, I think - Dean's tired of everything, he thinks there's nothing left, blah blah, and I can see him not wearing it, since it also now serves as a reminder that God has abandoned them (which still might be a fluke or otherwise unimportant, yo!), and Cas would probably be like ARGH (he really needs a hug, also. And someone to make sure he stays away from alcohol and drugs and things), and etc. And, okay, even if he weren't going to keep it - doing that in front of Sam like that? Completely uncalled for.
I don't even know how to deal with that. The more I think about it (and the more innerSam pays attention to it) the worse it is. I'm almost in tears right now. sjklgdfnkllkn
The rest of the episode was SERIOUSLY EPIC. Stanford! Dean's issues with it! Sam ran away and had a dog (more personal cannon!)! Mary! Creepy!Mary offering nightmare subject material for Dean in case he didn't have enough! ASH! ASH AND SAM GEEKING TOGETHER! I THINK IT MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE EVER, but OW. MY HEART. KDFJNJNJNKDLHAETJFDKLVN BGIDFK;LNJUDSKMLC VNHFKL.
I had a feeling he'd get it back tonight. The flashback with littleSam (the fireworks thing? personal cannon confirmed, by the way, as well as Sam having a dog / liking dogs, and Mary giving Dean pie / him being a crazily affectionate child... and Ash's upset over Ellen and Jo was sort of hinting at it, also; they were just seriously throwing my personal cannon out there left and right tonight!) made me pretty sure it was coming, somehow. I don't know, it just did.
And then? They rip my heart out and literally throw it away. I mean, I have no words for that, right there. I get the sentiment, I think - Dean's tired of everything, he thinks there's nothing left, blah blah, and I can see him not wearing it, since it also now serves as a reminder that God has abandoned them (which still might be a fluke or otherwise unimportant, yo!), and Cas would probably be like ARGH (he really needs a hug, also. And someone to make sure he stays away from alcohol and drugs and things), and etc. And, okay, even if he weren't going to keep it - doing that in front of Sam like that? Completely uncalled for.
I don't even know how to deal with that. The more I think about it (and the more innerSam pays attention to it) the worse it is. I'm almost in tears right now. sjklgdfnkllkn
The rest of the episode was SERIOUSLY EPIC. Stanford! Dean's issues with it! Sam ran away and had a dog (more personal cannon!)! Mary! Creepy!Mary offering nightmare subject material for Dean in case he didn't have enough! ASH! ASH AND SAM GEEKING TOGETHER! I THINK IT MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE EVER, but OW. MY HEART. KDFJNJNJNKDLHAETJFDKLVN BGIDFK;LNJUDSKMLC VNHFKL.