we all get it in the end!
i became re-enchanted yesterday.
drank a lot of tea.
bleeding again.
subconscious ships! there is another one! floating away and staying at the same time.
maybe god is telling me to build an ark.
now in my paintings there are:
ships (this is recurring and always unintentional)
witches with small pickles instead of noses
campfire
branches
a lot of lines
a swirling vortex
a strawberry patch
i want to think of painting as relational somehow. a social activity. the learning of mythologies is based upon human interaction rather than visual culture...there's more to this and i talked about it a lot but im not going to say it all now. another time.
i also thought a lot about how i really really really want my parents to stop watching t.v and how i want everyone to stop watching t.v.
there's just so little time as it is to make things with my hands and i need that.
and theres this one where in the quiet secret space of your heart you know there was something and that it will never leave you no matter how far away you go or how old you get or how small they crush your bones.
and sometimes you say okay the world, you win this one. i fought the law and the law won. i did it all wrong and this is how the world is now and it's just something you accept. and sigh and its okay because you really really mean that you wish for happiness in yourself and in everyone and there's nothing you can do or would want to do.
i stayed up too late last night worrying about my health and about the new dimension we're in.
and then today i decided that it was going to be one of those days where i give up on life so that i can go back to it with renewed love.
i am thinking about time and space and about how when spaces don't change it's hard to remember that time passes and that things are different and that you are not in a warped other dimension that may have perhaps been part of some past nightmare. it really is time for me to get out of new york soon...it's closing in a little.
i watched Jules and Jim with Kevin today which is kind of a good movie and appropriately "weird".
but nothing is weird.
the good thing is that i remembered that i'm not afraid of anything.
drank a lot of tea.
bleeding again.
subconscious ships! there is another one! floating away and staying at the same time.
maybe god is telling me to build an ark.
now in my paintings there are:
ships (this is recurring and always unintentional)
witches with small pickles instead of noses
campfire
branches
a lot of lines
a swirling vortex
a strawberry patch
i want to think of painting as relational somehow. a social activity. the learning of mythologies is based upon human interaction rather than visual culture...there's more to this and i talked about it a lot but im not going to say it all now. another time.
i also thought a lot about how i really really really want my parents to stop watching t.v and how i want everyone to stop watching t.v.
there's just so little time as it is to make things with my hands and i need that.
and theres this one where in the quiet secret space of your heart you know there was something and that it will never leave you no matter how far away you go or how old you get or how small they crush your bones.
and sometimes you say okay the world, you win this one. i fought the law and the law won. i did it all wrong and this is how the world is now and it's just something you accept. and sigh and its okay because you really really mean that you wish for happiness in yourself and in everyone and there's nothing you can do or would want to do.
i stayed up too late last night worrying about my health and about the new dimension we're in.
and then today i decided that it was going to be one of those days where i give up on life so that i can go back to it with renewed love.
i am thinking about time and space and about how when spaces don't change it's hard to remember that time passes and that things are different and that you are not in a warped other dimension that may have perhaps been part of some past nightmare. it really is time for me to get out of new york soon...it's closing in a little.
i watched Jules and Jim with Kevin today which is kind of a good movie and appropriately "weird".
but nothing is weird.
the good thing is that i remembered that i'm not afraid of anything.