a list for today:
- de profundis is oscar wilde, destroyed by love and in prison. absolutely essential for everyone to read this at some point.
- things that i have to do: band practice, write about an artwork, write about the two sophie scholl movies, write some crappy poems or something for creative writing, clean the house, try to clean under my fingernails.
- a lot of coffee
- find a person to spoon that doesn't want to do it with you
- find out what happened to marcia
- this is actually turning entirely into a list of things to do
- making really bad art for the time being is not the worst thing in the world
- yale might save my life
- i might save my own life? i might never save it, never recover, seems likely. but i won't die yet, i will keep myself busy or try to just keep doing nice things for other people so that my life is maybe redeemable.
- never ever ever ever ever kill the best most pure part of yourself because you think its kid stuff, the only thing you learn is sorrow.
- the moral of the story is: alana fitzgerald is not, and never will be, a tough guy.
- i feel exactly as shitty as i did one month ago and two months ago. next month i won't be here, maybe i will be better for it.
- i am doing something better than last month or the month before, though, which is getting involved in things that make me happy instead of hiding in my studio all the time alone and never seeing anyone.
- i have been wearing the same pants pretty much every day for over a year and the crotch is finally ripping out, which is very unpleasant. it isn't easy to find jeans.
- i would like a cat maybe. i want to take care of someone.
- i am going to pierce my ear soon i think and maybe my nose again and have two nose holes next to one another.
- what i really want right now is to walk into the ocean and wash everything off.
- there is a website that describes all these famous peoples' famous deaths.
- fucking bike!
- things that i have to do: band practice, write about an artwork, write about the two sophie scholl movies, write some crappy poems or something for creative writing, clean the house, try to clean under my fingernails.
- a lot of coffee
- find a person to spoon that doesn't want to do it with you
- find out what happened to marcia
- this is actually turning entirely into a list of things to do
- making really bad art for the time being is not the worst thing in the world
- yale might save my life
- i might save my own life? i might never save it, never recover, seems likely. but i won't die yet, i will keep myself busy or try to just keep doing nice things for other people so that my life is maybe redeemable.
- never ever ever ever ever kill the best most pure part of yourself because you think its kid stuff, the only thing you learn is sorrow.
- the moral of the story is: alana fitzgerald is not, and never will be, a tough guy.
- i feel exactly as shitty as i did one month ago and two months ago. next month i won't be here, maybe i will be better for it.
- i am doing something better than last month or the month before, though, which is getting involved in things that make me happy instead of hiding in my studio all the time alone and never seeing anyone.
- i have been wearing the same pants pretty much every day for over a year and the crotch is finally ripping out, which is very unpleasant. it isn't easy to find jeans.
- i would like a cat maybe. i want to take care of someone.
- i am going to pierce my ear soon i think and maybe my nose again and have two nose holes next to one another.
- what i really want right now is to walk into the ocean and wash everything off.
- there is a website that describes all these famous peoples' famous deaths.
- fucking bike!