(no subject)
My weekend went rather shittily. Three days of 'Hey Kiah, you wanna do anything today?' 'Oh no, I can't, I have to work tonight' and then I got to work the three busiest days of the week. I wasn't supposed to work Friday, but I needed to cover for someone else. So from the very get-go I did not want to be there and that carried through the whole damn weekend.
So work this weekend left me really frazzled. It ended up being the exact amount of stress necessary to unearth a cavalcade of negative emotion that kept me feeling like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown... or like I wanted to have a breakdown, at least. STRESS, FUCK YEAH. I feel really weird now. Nothing has changed or resolved itself, but I feel better than I did yesterday, at the very least. It's kind of subsided, but it's all still there, and to the degree that I don't feel bad I feel like I should feel bad or that I'm going to feel bad. Urk.
I think the only great part of this weekend was talking to my sister. I got a lot of updates on what's going at the house, and now that I don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore it's just pure lulz (really, it was always lulz, but now that I'm not only emotionally distanced from my family it's even EASIER to laugh). Apparently my parents are going at it like it's going out of style. Also, my mother is probably a coke fiend? A fine complement to my dad's marijuana use (which I've only recently realized can explain SO much of his behavior. I wonder if coke makes you act like a neurotic wankjob...). Frankly I am looking forward to Thanksgiving with a GUSTO.
So work this weekend left me really frazzled. It ended up being the exact amount of stress necessary to unearth a cavalcade of negative emotion that kept me feeling like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown... or like I wanted to have a breakdown, at least. STRESS, FUCK YEAH. I feel really weird now. Nothing has changed or resolved itself, but I feel better than I did yesterday, at the very least. It's kind of subsided, but it's all still there, and to the degree that I don't feel bad I feel like I should feel bad or that I'm going to feel bad. Urk.
I think the only great part of this weekend was talking to my sister. I got a lot of updates on what's going at the house, and now that I don't have to deal with this bullshit anymore it's just pure lulz (really, it was always lulz, but now that I'm not only emotionally distanced from my family it's even EASIER to laugh). Apparently my parents are going at it like it's going out of style. Also, my mother is probably a coke fiend? A fine complement to my dad's marijuana use (which I've only recently realized can explain SO much of his behavior. I wonder if coke makes you act like a neurotic wankjob...). Frankly I am looking forward to Thanksgiving with a GUSTO.