Reading Jayne's journal
Eep! Jayne was awake last night while I was playing! I knew I should have been quieter! *blushes 'til his ears turn red*
But he hasn't made fun of me or anything... or looked at me weird, or even laughed. He didn't even say anything mean in his journal, which would be easier than saying it to my face. So maybe... it's not really a big deal. Maybe he doesn't think of my as a big dork after all.
But I guess he's worried that I'm worried that he doesn't really love me. Which I guess... well I'm not exactly worried about it. It's not that I don't believe him. I just don't see why he would. You know, without some other personal gain or something. I don't see how I'm useful to him. It's important to be useful however you can. But all we do is talk and have sex, and I also cook and clean. Which I guess might be good enough for him, without me actually contributing to his stuff-stealing job, or obeying his every command or anything.
Anyway, it's kinda freaky, him moving his stuff so we each take up half the space. We're like, equal. And I thought he was the leader! Well, not the leader exactly, but the... superior officer or something. If we're equal, that means I have to govern things as much as him, and I don't get to take orders to help me make decisions and organize my time and stuff. What if I suck at being equal? And what if he eventually decides I don't deserve half the space, and takes some back? That would be worse than never having the space at all.
Not that I don't appreciate it, 'cause I do. It's really sweet of him. But I don't really deserve to take his space away from him.
Oh yeah, and he also thinks it's weird that I want his shirts. Doesn't he want something of mine to keep with him whenever possible? Something that smells like me and represents something I like or that somehow shows my personality?
Would it be obsessive to rip a little bit of this one shirt and tie it around my wrist to be with me at all times? I don't think so...
But he hasn't made fun of me or anything... or looked at me weird, or even laughed. He didn't even say anything mean in his journal, which would be easier than saying it to my face. So maybe... it's not really a big deal. Maybe he doesn't think of my as a big dork after all.
But I guess he's worried that I'm worried that he doesn't really love me. Which I guess... well I'm not exactly worried about it. It's not that I don't believe him. I just don't see why he would. You know, without some other personal gain or something. I don't see how I'm useful to him. It's important to be useful however you can. But all we do is talk and have sex, and I also cook and clean. Which I guess might be good enough for him, without me actually contributing to his stuff-stealing job, or obeying his every command or anything.
Anyway, it's kinda freaky, him moving his stuff so we each take up half the space. We're like, equal. And I thought he was the leader! Well, not the leader exactly, but the... superior officer or something. If we're equal, that means I have to govern things as much as him, and I don't get to take orders to help me make decisions and organize my time and stuff. What if I suck at being equal? And what if he eventually decides I don't deserve half the space, and takes some back? That would be worse than never having the space at all.
Not that I don't appreciate it, 'cause I do. It's really sweet of him. But I don't really deserve to take his space away from him.
Oh yeah, and he also thinks it's weird that I want his shirts. Doesn't he want something of mine to keep with him whenever possible? Something that smells like me and represents something I like or that somehow shows my personality?
Would it be obsessive to rip a little bit of this one shirt and tie it around my wrist to be with me at all times? I don't think so...