The Big Fight
[sounds of fake explosions and plastic clacking noises, as if someone was banging action figures together and making gunshot noises with their mouth]
No, Captain Kirk, you will never defeat me, for I am Han Solo, the greatest starship pilot ever!
Silly silly man. Don't you know the women will flock to me, whether I win this fight or lose? For I am striking and magnificent in my glorious victories, yet also incomparably huggable and needing of comfort when injured. My sexual prowess knows no bounds! Muahahaha!
Oh you poor naive Starfleet Captain. Archer was the rockingest Captain ever and everyone knows it! Which... isn't really the issue since this fight is between us! And I can do the Sexy Smirk!
[more fake explosion noises]
No, Captain Kirk, you will never defeat me, for I am Han Solo, the greatest starship pilot ever!
Silly silly man. Don't you know the women will flock to me, whether I win this fight or lose? For I am striking and magnificent in my glorious victories, yet also incomparably huggable and needing of comfort when injured. My sexual prowess knows no bounds! Muahahaha!
Oh you poor naive Starfleet Captain. Archer was the rockingest Captain ever and everyone knows it! Which... isn't really the issue since this fight is between us! And I can do the Sexy Smirk!
[more fake explosion noises]