I'm doing pretty well.a-thank-u
I don't really know what to write, but I felt like a journal entry was appropriate for some reason. Mike is the greatest guy. Every single time I think about him it makes me want to smile. I'm still having trouble convincing myself that I could be liked by someone like him but I suppose if he hasn't felt sick of me yet I at least have that going for me.
Life is strange. I know time hasn't stopped but I feel like I have. It's like time is just forging ahead and I'll never be able to catch up. Sometimes I feel like I need a break and I want to just cry and let out all my frustrations at once, but then I remember that I can't stop now because I want to make something of myself. I forget things far too often, but I'm trying to work on that.
I occasionally wonder if I really want to do things this way...it seems a bit late to be second guessing things but I'm the only one who knows my stress level. I really need to sit down and have a talk with my dad. It kind of sucks to think about though, because I know how proud everyone is of me for going to college. It's just really hard....I technically shouldnt even be allowed to registar for spring semester..as a matter of fact, that's why I haven't tried to because I don't want to find out that I can't.
I also have this unbearable urge to move out of my dad's house. I just want to be out on my own already. It might sound a little immature but I'm sick of rules and having to let everybody know where I am. I just want to....I don't know. It just seems like it would make things less complicated if I could just do things my way. (I can almost feel people wincing when they read that sentence)I want to be a writer so bad but I'm just so distracted. It's so hard to go to school, have a job, keep in touch with friends and deal with family problems all at the same time. It's not even so much family problems as it is me not knowing exactly how to be a good sister...I always wonder if I could be doing something differently.
I just really need to talk to my dad..or mike...or someone.*sigh* I just don't know sometimes.
Life is strange. I know time hasn't stopped but I feel like I have. It's like time is just forging ahead and I'll never be able to catch up. Sometimes I feel like I need a break and I want to just cry and let out all my frustrations at once, but then I remember that I can't stop now because I want to make something of myself. I forget things far too often, but I'm trying to work on that.
I occasionally wonder if I really want to do things this way...it seems a bit late to be second guessing things but I'm the only one who knows my stress level. I really need to sit down and have a talk with my dad. It kind of sucks to think about though, because I know how proud everyone is of me for going to college. It's just really hard....I technically shouldnt even be allowed to registar for spring semester..as a matter of fact, that's why I haven't tried to because I don't want to find out that I can't.
I also have this unbearable urge to move out of my dad's house. I just want to be out on my own already. It might sound a little immature but I'm sick of rules and having to let everybody know where I am. I just want to....I don't know. It just seems like it would make things less complicated if I could just do things my way. (I can almost feel people wincing when they read that sentence)I want to be a writer so bad but I'm just so distracted. It's so hard to go to school, have a job, keep in touch with friends and deal with family problems all at the same time. It's not even so much family problems as it is me not knowing exactly how to be a good sister...I always wonder if I could be doing something differently.
I just really need to talk to my dad..or mike...or someone.*sigh* I just don't know sometimes.