Resolve.
I can't stand the mess I've allowed my life to become.
I have no direction, no goals, no aspirations of something better.
Come December, I will have no job.
I still live with my mother. I lie to myself, and tell myself I'm still living with her because I want to make sure she's ok. Truth is, I'm not motivated enough to go out and find my own place to live.
I had a relationship. It was trying at times, sure... but it made me happier than anything else these last few years. But now, I fucked that up too. I may not even have that man as a friend anymore...
I live pill by pill. I'm always sick.
I complain and complain, but I never change anything.
I make fun of myself, in the hopes no one will see how insecure I am.
I am just that, insecure.
I am insecure, emotionally unstable, untrusting, vicious, volatile and impulsive.
I don't deserve the life I had, the life where things were handed to me, and everyone always forgave my tresspasses.
I deserve a life where I have to struggle. Where I have to work hard and long for just enough money to keep my alive. I deserve all the hate and frustration that I caused other people to feel. I deserve a life of solitude- no man will ever find his way into my heart again.
I resolve to live this life, as soon as I can.
I get my car fixed, I get my month's notice filled, and I'm gone.
I don't know where- just out of this Dollhouse.
I have no direction, no goals, no aspirations of something better.
Come December, I will have no job.
I still live with my mother. I lie to myself, and tell myself I'm still living with her because I want to make sure she's ok. Truth is, I'm not motivated enough to go out and find my own place to live.
I had a relationship. It was trying at times, sure... but it made me happier than anything else these last few years. But now, I fucked that up too. I may not even have that man as a friend anymore...
I live pill by pill. I'm always sick.
I complain and complain, but I never change anything.
I make fun of myself, in the hopes no one will see how insecure I am.
I am just that, insecure.
I am insecure, emotionally unstable, untrusting, vicious, volatile and impulsive.
I don't deserve the life I had, the life where things were handed to me, and everyone always forgave my tresspasses.
I deserve a life where I have to struggle. Where I have to work hard and long for just enough money to keep my alive. I deserve all the hate and frustration that I caused other people to feel. I deserve a life of solitude- no man will ever find his way into my heart again.
I resolve to live this life, as soon as I can.
I get my car fixed, I get my month's notice filled, and I'm gone.
I don't know where- just out of this Dollhouse.