First Hit [English//Audio//Open Commentlog]

[soyouwannaplay]

Okay, asswipes. I’ve seen Saw, I know what you’re trying to do here. And it’s not cute. What have you done with Kick-Ass? We’re kind of in the middle of something. Jesus, he’s such a little bitch… He’s probably tied to a chair again. If you’ve done anything to him, you cunts are going to have another thing coming.

By the way, the walkie talkies

Comments

[lilyground]

What? Um, welcome?

[soyouwannaplay]

Hi. You the MC around here?

[lilyground]

Umm, no. My name is Lily. You're on Isle de Saphir, but that's because we made port. Usually we're on the MS Elegante. It's a cruise ship.

[soyouwannaplay]

...a cruise ship. What kind of stupid joke is this? How the hell did I get on a fucking island?

[lilyground]

The ship made port.

[Duh! She just said that!]

[soyouwannaplay]

Okay, yeah! I heard that! But I was never on a goddamn ship! I was at home. How'd I get on an island?

[lilyground]

The captain brought you here. The captain brought us all here.

[Pause. This is sometimes traumatizing to people, but there's no way to phrase it lightly...]

Youuu're probably never going home.

[soyouwannaplay]

Who the fuck is the captain? And what do you mean I'm not going home? I have something to take care of. Someone is waiting to die, and I'm not missing that appointment, got it?

[lilyground]

Captain Redd's the captain, and he's not gonna send you home.

[Pause.]

You're gonna kill somebody? Why?

[Not that Lily's entirely opposed.]

[soyouwannaplay]

Revenge.

Why can't I leave? Why am I here? Who the hell is Captain Redd?

[lilyground]

Wha'd they do? And how're you gonna do it?

[Lily is morbidly curious.

A-anyway!]

And um, you can't leave because the captain chose you. Also because your world is probably gone.

[Lily should get better at this.]

[soyouwannaplay]

[Lily's curiosity is just pissing Hit Girl off at this point.] It's none of your goddamn business what they did. I'm going to kill him, that's all that matters.

...you mean the Earth is gone? That doesn't even make sense.

[lilyground]

[She's just going to let that go...]

Everyone's world is gone. [Annnd] Hey, I'm from Earth, too! I think. My brother said I'm from Earth.

[soyouwannaplay]

Oh, my gosh! No way! We must me long lost twins. [Don't mind her sarcasm, Lily. It's nothing personal.]

Look. Your crazy babble isn't helping a whole lot. Have you seen a jackass in a scuba suit running around like an idiot?

[lilyground]

[Ahaha... ha...]

Nope. And I'm not crazy. You can ask everybody else.

[soyouwannaplay]

Everybody else. [Sigh.] I'll get right on that shit.

So I'm gonna go find my dumbass and then I'm gonna need to talk to the big man. Where can I find Redd?