Allison. You have GOT to cut yourself some slack. Things don't always go as planned, but they ESPECIALLY won't go as planned when you're worried. Remember that you are a new teacher, that you do not have any experience, and that no one--even the students--expects you to be perfect. As long as you are respectful to your students--which you have expressed as something you value so this won't be hard--and give them plenty of chances to have some input and then LISTEN to them, you will be just fine and your students will love you and everything will be okay.
Also, I understand where you're coming from with your cooperating teacher. While mine is not quite as bad, I see her doing similar kinds of things with her low-achieving students. She doesn't say it to their face, but when they have left the room she will turn to me and rant to me about how lazy they are (this is actually true, but it shouldn't mean that they can't learn) and how "low" she has to take things for them to "get it" and how "all the other classes did this for homework but [she] had to hold [the low-acheiving students'] hands to get them through it."
But here's what I do about it. I keep a journal. During every visit, I write down what actually happens, and then I go home afterwards and write about how I feel about it and what this means for my own teaching and how my experience either supports or refutes some of my beliefs/committments about teaching. Remember that she has been doing this a lot longer than you and may have learned some things that are unpleasant but true about her students--you don't have to agree, just keep it in the back of your mind and try and see how the beliefs she expresses through her teaching might reflect some educational truths that you might not have considered. Basically, think of this as an opportunity to really clarify your own pedagogical committments. If you think about it as a learning experience it won't be quite so hard to swallow.
Also, I understand where you're coming from with your cooperating teacher. While mine is not quite as bad, I see her doing similar kinds of things with her low-achieving students. She doesn't say it to their face, but when they have left the room she will turn to me and rant to me about how lazy they are (this is actually true, but it shouldn't mean that they can't learn) and how "low" she has to take things for them to "get it" and how "all the other classes did this for homework but [she] had to hold [the low-acheiving students'] hands to get them through it."
But here's what I do about it. I keep a journal. During every visit, I write down what actually happens, and then I go home afterwards and write about how I feel about it and what this means for my own teaching and how my experience either supports or refutes some of my beliefs/committments about teaching. Remember that she has been doing this a lot longer than you and may have learned some things that are unpleasant but true about her students--you don't have to agree, just keep it in the back of your mind and try and see how the beliefs she expresses through her teaching might reflect some educational truths that you might not have considered. Basically, think of this as an opportunity to really clarify your own pedagogical committments. If you think about it as a learning experience it won't be quite so hard to swallow.
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