"you're the king of controversy" - Kathleen
FUCKING RIGHT! You read that title, bitches? I have been formally crowned as the King of Controversy so bow down, bitches and listen up.
Psssssh, I love all my readers (those who post...get the hint?) so don't worry. Let's get down to brass tacks ladies and gentlemen. Your newly crowned King has been the recent victim of a disrespectation (I just made that word up) and he isn't very happy about it. Let's start from the beginning...
Last night I got to see Deanna, my hot ass girlfriend of two years. Now, I had just worked 6 days in a row and at least 8 hours yesterday and had a splitting headache. We both just wanted to relax and hang out (fuck like bunnies) and get some food. So she was in the mood for Tuesdays, even though she works there. No big deal since I love Tuesdays. So we get there and there is like no wait. Very nice for a Saturday night at the mall. As soon as we walk in there are two guys up front who work there and said hi to Dee. Werd. Then as we're waiting for a table, one of these guys decides to saunter over and hug her...while my fucking arm is around her, thus pulling her away from me. Okay...first insult. THEN, this douchebag kisses her on the cheek pulls away, looks at me...then turns around and walks away.
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Well, I naturally stare at this fag in disbelief and then I look at Dee. I'm speechless until I scream out "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT?" How does Dee respond? By giving me that "You jealous fuck look". Well, I told her verbatim "If I had gloves I would slap that motherfucker."
JC: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
JC: DUELING GLOVES?!
Big Sovs: NO DOUBT!
JC: =-O
JC: OMG
JC: AMAZING
Big Sovs: you know how I roll
JC: i know
Werd. John feels me. He agreed...he said he'd be pissed, too. Fig had this to say when I asked him what he would do:
Fig: easy
Fig: make the kid walk like a flamingo: with inverted knee caps
Fuck yeah, Fig...fuck yeah. The only reason that kid is breathing on his own is because I FUCKING ALLOWED HIM TO! NICK, HOPE I DON'T FIND YOU AT TUESDAYS WHEN I'M NOT WITH DEE! PRAY EVERY DAY TO YOUR GOD THAT I MIGHT FORGET I LOATHE YOU AND SPARE YOUR MEAGER BULLSHIT EXISTENCE. OH YEAH, JUST WAIT, DICK...THE IRISH MAFIA WILL COME DOWN AND WE'RE GONNA TEAR UP YOUR SHIT!
Oh, I even asked a female authority on this subject. Kathleen said "the guy could at least say like 'hey what's up dude. i'm so and so.'"
So what happens next? I do nothing. I don't fuck the kid up or confront him because Dee just looks at me and I love her so much. Does she care that I've been upset or disrespected? No. So I get so upset I made myself sick last night. Yeah, that's why I was nauseous Dee. Because of that flagrant display of disrespect I had to go through and you just sat there and was like whatever. Last time that shit happened I let it go and my girlfriend got taken away from me. Well, this time I'm gonna fucking take this kid by his scrotum and twist them until he passes out or until one of them pops out...whatever happens first.
W3rd. That's it for now except to plug my picture website. http://community.webshots.com/user/bigsovs. There it is in all its glory: John's amazing haircut. I still have to put the final pic up and I will also post Rich's last haircut. Kat wanted to see it and I think it's been a long time since we've seen that kids fucking scalp. Oh, and post on how you think this kid Nick should die.