Just not feeling myself.
Hi, it’s me. I miss you terribly. I love you a lot. I love you more than I thought I did. I can’t even describe how much I care about you. I feel like I can’t go on with out you. You are the one. The one for me. I just know it. You are the single most important person in my life and I cant live with out you. I need you. I want you. I want to share my life with you. I feel so weak with out you. Today was bad. I did nothing. I laid in my bed all day. I didn’t eat until about 6:30 at night. I miss you so much. I don’t feel like my self at all. When I’m alone it’s the worst. All I do is think about you and how much I miss you. I daydream about how I want our life to be when were all grown up. These past two weeks away from you have been the worst ever. I know I have my friends but they’re not you. I need you. I hate not talking to you, not telling you about my day, not badgering you with questions, not receiving a hug, or a kiss, I hate not feeling loved. You are the person that makes me the happiest and now you’re gone. I just want to fast forward to the day where this is all over. The day where I can think about you and not cry. I don’t know how much more if this I can take. What is going to happen after boot camp? What is going to happen when you will be gone for months at a time? I want to be independent, and I have tried. But I love you and I don’t want to be away from you. It’s too hard. I need you here, I need you to be all mine. I know it’s selfish but that is what I need. My life was perfect when I had you. I just wished that I realized it sooner. I wish I knew how to verbalize my feelings better and we didn’t fight as much as we did. I really miss you. With out you in my life things are not the same. I feel like a part of me is missing. A very important part of me… my heart. I am not happy. I don’t smile, or laugh, or love, or care like I did when I was with you. I know that I have been writing to you every day, but it’s not the same. I sit and pour my heart out while for two weeks I have heard nothing back from you. You are the person I love the most and this is just really taking a toll on me. Were young and in love. We should be together living life, sharing new experiences. What are we doing? Why do we have to be apart? I just don’t understand why you had to leave. Why was this your choice? I don’t know how you feel but all it has caused me is heartache. I can’t wait for you to come home. I can’t wait to be in your arms again. I can’t wait for my misery to be over. I don’t know what I would ever do with out you. Karl, I love you and I want to be with you. I hope you still love me, because with out you I don’t know what I would do.