(no subject)
I don't know how to be a good friend. I think I should be doing something to make her better, but I just can't and I know that's terrible of me. It's not that I've given up, it's just that it's not within my means to do anything to make her life better. It kills me. All I can do is tell her how much I love her and how great she is, but that doesn't do any good. I know I could find a nice place to live and have her move in with me to help her out, but I'm not willing to do that and I feel like shit for it. I could loan her money, or ask my parents to help her out, but I'm not willing to do that either. Does that mean I don't care? Back in the day I would have given her anything she asked for. I don't know what made me change my mind. She's in a pretty desperate situation, and I'm not doing anything to help. Knowing she's tried to kill herself 3 different times before, I still do nothing when I read the Facebook status updates that sounds like she may try again. I feel like an awful person, but I don't know what to do. Suicide is something I take seriously, so why don't I do anything to help her? Or is she really okay and am I just overreacting to her wanting/needing some attention? I'm an asshole for even thinking that. Maybe I'm too depressed to care? How awful is that? I feel so bad, but I really don't know what to do. Should I call her mom every time she writes something alarming on Facebook? I'd rather have her mad at me than dead, but I'm always told I overreact to everything so I don't know. I would feel so guilty if anything happened to her.