well...

[sounds_phishy]

to tell u the truth, i thought i had it all figured out. that it was all coming together, all of it. but its not its only just begun. where am i? what can i do? am i happy...? ya im happy, im always happy. but what about in my head, whats going on? i thought i was done, but its still going. its only just begun. it will go on forever weather i want it to or not. does it bother me?? no im not bothered by much. how can i stop it?, or better yet do i want it to stop?? whats going on?? one realization. shit a cant believe it, i told my self i wouldnt, this cant be happening. but it is. its all there but i cant make much of it. i want to, oh man do i want to. i know what i need to do but im having problems doing it. this isnt me. and its only just begun

all of this, its sucks, not the way it should be.
but the worst part is .................................................i cant cry.