Fan fic: Can it be a happy ending? [02]
Title: Can it be a happy ending?
Author: Mika (bleeding_jaws )
Beta: thethirdstone
Band: The Gazette
Pairing: Aoi x Reita, Reita x ?
Rating: PG13
Genre: Angst
Chapters: 2/?
Warning: Cursing?
Disclaimer: Do not own anyone.
Summary: He weakly punched the steering wheel over and over and over again until he gave up, until there was no more anger inside him.
Note: Ahhh... I've been trashing this chapter so many times by now and changed the story line so much, I'm not really sure anymore.. This wasn't really how it was supposed to be. But oh well, what do you know.. Please comment ♥
Previous chapters:
Chapter 1
Following chapters:
Chapter 3
Chapter 4a
Fan art
Artist and copyright: rukixkaiyaoi
Page 00
Page 01
Page 02
Page 03
Page 04
The shock penetrated his frustrated mind making his body go stiff, unable to move. He was speechless as he tried to understand, register, those words just spoken by a very sad guitarist. He stood in one place, staring at the other one, feeling lost, silence wrapping around like a suffocating hand around his throat. It all happened so fast.
As soon as he figured out what had been said and what the meaning of the words was, furious tears pressed on in the corner of narrowed eyes, glaring down at the fidgeting brunette whose eyes widened. His hands wrapped into fists, he grit his teeth and felt anger welling up inside of him and it was nothing like a little frustration or bitterness. Pure rage consumed the young man. Without any care for the visible tears in dark orbs he stomped towards the other, pulling him up by the arm. Surprised, the cup lingered in his hands and he unconsciously let it go as he got yanked up from his seat.
The cup broke into pieces and its content spilled across the kitchen tiles but neither of them took notice. Reita was busy dragging the other across his apartment, and Aoi was busy trying to move his feet, and then they reached the door.
Unlocking it, a harsh push made the dumbfounded Aoi stumble backwards. He was unable to speak, and given no opportunity to do so either, a pair of shoes came flying landing somewhere close to him. Door smacked shut with a loud bang, its frame vibrating ever so slightly.
He stared at the closed door for a few moments then ran up those few steps and banged loudly, screaming to be let in.
No response. His voice cut off his hands resting on the surface, fingers brought into fists. He was scared; what if his confession broke everything off and that would be it? No more friends, no more of the band? It can’t be...
Picking up his shoes, he walked down the stairs, across the parking lot only in clothed feet until he reached his car.
He got in, put his key in the ignition but didn't start the car yet, the first tears falling and the first sobs heard through the silence. He weakly punched the steering wheel over and over and over again until he gave up, until there was no more anger inside him.
Up in the apartment, a certain bassist was broken down on the floor between the kitchen and the living room. Unable to move, crying violently, banging his head repeatedly into the wooden floor. Shrilling screams penetrated his body and it cut through the lonely apartment bathed in the daylight, his body shaking uncontrollably.
“Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?” Words mingled and jumbled leaving trembling lips. His brain was working on top speed, filled with memories of a past better yet forgotten, and yet too sweet for him to ever stop loving. His one. His only. His drug and addiction. The only one he’d ever let himself obsess over. One single soul he’d only give his all to. And that name leaves his quivering lips. Time has passed and sped by. So many days have passed since he allowed himself to speak name again, and it made him smile between the tears.
Scrambling to his unstable feet, half walking, half crawling, he made it to the fridge, pulled out a water bottle, some pills shoved into the back of a kitchen drawer, and he took on the journey to his darkened bedroom.
Shaky fingers got a pill out of the box, pushed it past plush lips and swallowed it along with the cold water. For a second tears were forgotten and he lied there in utter silence. A silence he had gotten used to again, since a few years ago. Back when he had nothing else to do but accept that his room would never again be filled with his love. Soothing himself with the fact that at least the room inside of his vulnerable body wouldn’t be empty, but overflow with that love for him. Even though it’s the end and the end can never be undone.
Knocks on the door pulled the sleeping blonde from his temporarily slumber. A sleep he had sometimes hoped would last forever but then he’d remember those words and all the things he had yet to see, people to meet, and places to go. So those thoughts would slip from his mind, knowing the day would come. So he broke out of the dreams he had been floating inside of.
Blinking, he rubbed his tired eyes. Groggy and for the moment unaware of the happenings between him and the guitarist. With lazy movements, the blonde pulled on his jeans and a black t-shirt that seemed clean enough. His naked feet led him to the door where the knocking had stopped. When he opened, Reita was greeted by a sheepish smile from his childhood friend at whom he merely stared at with his blank expression.
"Good morning! Did you oversleep again? You seem a bit lost.." He sang with his sing-song-happy voice while he pushed his way past Reita whose eye was twitching from the cheery tone of his friend.
"What are you doing here?" Was the only thing he wanted an answer to.
"What the hell, Rei? It's fucking 09:30AM something-something, you were supposed to pick me up on the way to practice! And now we're both late!! Kai will fucking stomp on us and crush us under his heel for fuck's sake!" Now it was Uruha who started to get angry at how clueless the other man seemed to be about the whole situation.
"But... is it already morning?" Reita scratched his head like only a moron would do. His eyes flickered up at the ceiling, thoughtfully, like he was thinking really hard about something.
Stupefied, Uruha's mouth dropped open. By now his patience was actually running dry, sure he himself was slow when it came to most things, but the way Reita acted now was almost on the level of a kindergarten kid trying to solve math questions.
"What's wrong with you today?" The question came before a second thought could form inside his head. "No, wait, I don't want to know." He dismissed it, waving his hand in front of the other man and shook his head furiously "Go put on some socks, find your jacket, and whatever you need to get by." Leaving no room for arguments, his hands grasped the other shoulders and pushed him into the bassist’s bedroom.
Seconds later, with no more words shared between them, Reita had decent clothes on and his bag over his shoulder. They were standing outside the apartment door, finally, locking up and eventually with a relived sigh from Uruha's part, they walked down the stairs and towards Reita's car.
Pulling up outside of PSC after something Uruha personally thought could compete with forever, he hastily got out of the car and practically ran towards the entrance door while muttering words only meant for him to hear.
Shaking his head, Reita soon followed far behind the fleeing guitarist with a smile that had found its way on his lips. His eyes fixated the blue sky above him, decorated with a few heavy clouds that couldn't possibly bring anything good with them.
He didn't know it, but behind him stood a brunette who was staring at the back of the man he had confessed to the morning before. In his dry throat a lump formed as he wanted to call out the other's name. But the reaction that might come from that, considering it would be anything like yesterday morning, he didn't want to even let a whisper be blown with the wind. Standing still, the seconds ticked by at a snail’s pace while that man of his dreams stood dangerously still. Only meters away. So close, that he felt like the other could hear the beats of his racing heart. But still so far that he couldn't simply reach out a hand and he'd be grasping an arm, clutching a shoulder or fisting his shirt. Before he could make up his mind on what to do, the man in front of him started to walk and the distance between them increased drastically. Time was moving freely again. Without even making up his mind, he acted upon his heartbeat.
"Wait, Akira!" Echoed the loud scream of Aoi's deep voice. With an arm outstretched like a fool, standing put in his spot, he watched how the other man stopped in his tracks.
But he wouldn't turn around, because last night just slapped him in the face with the force of Aoi's voice. He only stopped because his name was called but he wouldn't turn around because he felt guilty for how he treated his friend. Trying to swallow that lump in his throat that only got bigger the more he feared what was to come now that he had been caught a hold of. Which words of importance to Aoi would be spoken into the air?
"Can't you give me a chance...? Just one chance.. I know I can make you happy. Please... you won't know if you don't try." He didn't mean to, but the words became more pleading than he wanted them to, needier, sounding more desperate. But in reality, that's exactly how he felt.. Needy and the despair made him beg for what he wanted. "Akira... Akira.. please look at me. I want you to look at me..." He pleaded again, his hands limp on his sides. The need to touch the other made him start decreasing the distance that had been between them. He might have pleaded for the other, but to Reita, his words weren't convincing, weren't important, at all.
Unintentionally, Reita had let his gaze fall down on the dirty asphalt, on the dirty road he always walked down every day. But then the blonde lifted his head and faced the sky with closed eyes then, a moment after opened them halfway as he searched the sky for something it didn't have. Then the first sign of rain hit him, a raindrop solely crashed on this weary face. It trailed down and then more drops came from the sky, rain came pouring down on them. Drops of rain mingled with the tears that now streamed down, tears he never gave permission to come out. His shoulders started to shiver while his fingers clutched to his arms, his nails dug painfully into the flesh. He heard the footsteps on the asphalt getting closer, the rain falling harder, louder in his head and his heart beating in uneven fear. Dashing forward with all his might, with all the energy he had left in his drained body, he ran. And he ran so fast, so far, without any destination. Just let his feet lead him to wherever they wanted to take him. If he only could go anywhere with them.
Some place far away would be nice.
"AKIRAAA!!" Aoi shouts out to no one at all. Because he was the only one left in the parking lot. Alone, feeling hurt, rejected and more than anything... sadness consumed his mind like never before. As the rain kept falling, it only drenched him to the core, soaking every piece of cloth on his body. But he didn't care. It didn't matter. All that mattered to him just ran away.
PREVIOUS | NEXT
Author: Mika (bleeding_jaws )
Beta: thethirdstone
Band: The Gazette
Pairing: Aoi x Reita, Reita x ?
Rating: PG13
Genre: Angst
Chapters: 2/?
Warning: Cursing?
Disclaimer: Do not own anyone.
Summary: He weakly punched the steering wheel over and over and over again until he gave up, until there was no more anger inside him.
Note: Ahhh... I've been trashing this chapter so many times by now and changed the story line so much, I'm not really sure anymore.. This wasn't really how it was supposed to be. But oh well, what do you know.. Please comment ♥
Previous chapters:
Chapter 1
Following chapters:
Chapter 3
Chapter 4a
Fan art
Artist and copyright: rukixkaiyaoi
Page 00
Page 01
Page 02
Page 03
Page 04
The shock penetrated his frustrated mind making his body go stiff, unable to move. He was speechless as he tried to understand, register, those words just spoken by a very sad guitarist. He stood in one place, staring at the other one, feeling lost, silence wrapping around like a suffocating hand around his throat. It all happened so fast.
As soon as he figured out what had been said and what the meaning of the words was, furious tears pressed on in the corner of narrowed eyes, glaring down at the fidgeting brunette whose eyes widened. His hands wrapped into fists, he grit his teeth and felt anger welling up inside of him and it was nothing like a little frustration or bitterness. Pure rage consumed the young man. Without any care for the visible tears in dark orbs he stomped towards the other, pulling him up by the arm. Surprised, the cup lingered in his hands and he unconsciously let it go as he got yanked up from his seat.
The cup broke into pieces and its content spilled across the kitchen tiles but neither of them took notice. Reita was busy dragging the other across his apartment, and Aoi was busy trying to move his feet, and then they reached the door.
Unlocking it, a harsh push made the dumbfounded Aoi stumble backwards. He was unable to speak, and given no opportunity to do so either, a pair of shoes came flying landing somewhere close to him. Door smacked shut with a loud bang, its frame vibrating ever so slightly.
He stared at the closed door for a few moments then ran up those few steps and banged loudly, screaming to be let in.
No response. His voice cut off his hands resting on the surface, fingers brought into fists. He was scared; what if his confession broke everything off and that would be it? No more friends, no more of the band? It can’t be...
Picking up his shoes, he walked down the stairs, across the parking lot only in clothed feet until he reached his car.
He got in, put his key in the ignition but didn't start the car yet, the first tears falling and the first sobs heard through the silence. He weakly punched the steering wheel over and over and over again until he gave up, until there was no more anger inside him.
Up in the apartment, a certain bassist was broken down on the floor between the kitchen and the living room. Unable to move, crying violently, banging his head repeatedly into the wooden floor. Shrilling screams penetrated his body and it cut through the lonely apartment bathed in the daylight, his body shaking uncontrollably.
“Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?” Words mingled and jumbled leaving trembling lips. His brain was working on top speed, filled with memories of a past better yet forgotten, and yet too sweet for him to ever stop loving. His one. His only. His drug and addiction. The only one he’d ever let himself obsess over. One single soul he’d only give his all to. And that name leaves his quivering lips. Time has passed and sped by. So many days have passed since he allowed himself to speak name again, and it made him smile between the tears.
Scrambling to his unstable feet, half walking, half crawling, he made it to the fridge, pulled out a water bottle, some pills shoved into the back of a kitchen drawer, and he took on the journey to his darkened bedroom.
Shaky fingers got a pill out of the box, pushed it past plush lips and swallowed it along with the cold water. For a second tears were forgotten and he lied there in utter silence. A silence he had gotten used to again, since a few years ago. Back when he had nothing else to do but accept that his room would never again be filled with his love. Soothing himself with the fact that at least the room inside of his vulnerable body wouldn’t be empty, but overflow with that love for him. Even though it’s the end and the end can never be undone.
Knocks on the door pulled the sleeping blonde from his temporarily slumber. A sleep he had sometimes hoped would last forever but then he’d remember those words and all the things he had yet to see, people to meet, and places to go. So those thoughts would slip from his mind, knowing the day would come. So he broke out of the dreams he had been floating inside of.
Blinking, he rubbed his tired eyes. Groggy and for the moment unaware of the happenings between him and the guitarist. With lazy movements, the blonde pulled on his jeans and a black t-shirt that seemed clean enough. His naked feet led him to the door where the knocking had stopped. When he opened, Reita was greeted by a sheepish smile from his childhood friend at whom he merely stared at with his blank expression.
"Good morning! Did you oversleep again? You seem a bit lost.." He sang with his sing-song-happy voice while he pushed his way past Reita whose eye was twitching from the cheery tone of his friend.
"What are you doing here?" Was the only thing he wanted an answer to.
"What the hell, Rei? It's fucking 09:30AM something-something, you were supposed to pick me up on the way to practice! And now we're both late!! Kai will fucking stomp on us and crush us under his heel for fuck's sake!" Now it was Uruha who started to get angry at how clueless the other man seemed to be about the whole situation.
"But... is it already morning?" Reita scratched his head like only a moron would do. His eyes flickered up at the ceiling, thoughtfully, like he was thinking really hard about something.
Stupefied, Uruha's mouth dropped open. By now his patience was actually running dry, sure he himself was slow when it came to most things, but the way Reita acted now was almost on the level of a kindergarten kid trying to solve math questions.
"What's wrong with you today?" The question came before a second thought could form inside his head. "No, wait, I don't want to know." He dismissed it, waving his hand in front of the other man and shook his head furiously "Go put on some socks, find your jacket, and whatever you need to get by." Leaving no room for arguments, his hands grasped the other shoulders and pushed him into the bassist’s bedroom.
Seconds later, with no more words shared between them, Reita had decent clothes on and his bag over his shoulder. They were standing outside the apartment door, finally, locking up and eventually with a relived sigh from Uruha's part, they walked down the stairs and towards Reita's car.
Pulling up outside of PSC after something Uruha personally thought could compete with forever, he hastily got out of the car and practically ran towards the entrance door while muttering words only meant for him to hear.
Shaking his head, Reita soon followed far behind the fleeing guitarist with a smile that had found its way on his lips. His eyes fixated the blue sky above him, decorated with a few heavy clouds that couldn't possibly bring anything good with them.
He didn't know it, but behind him stood a brunette who was staring at the back of the man he had confessed to the morning before. In his dry throat a lump formed as he wanted to call out the other's name. But the reaction that might come from that, considering it would be anything like yesterday morning, he didn't want to even let a whisper be blown with the wind. Standing still, the seconds ticked by at a snail’s pace while that man of his dreams stood dangerously still. Only meters away. So close, that he felt like the other could hear the beats of his racing heart. But still so far that he couldn't simply reach out a hand and he'd be grasping an arm, clutching a shoulder or fisting his shirt. Before he could make up his mind on what to do, the man in front of him started to walk and the distance between them increased drastically. Time was moving freely again. Without even making up his mind, he acted upon his heartbeat.
"Wait, Akira!" Echoed the loud scream of Aoi's deep voice. With an arm outstretched like a fool, standing put in his spot, he watched how the other man stopped in his tracks.
But he wouldn't turn around, because last night just slapped him in the face with the force of Aoi's voice. He only stopped because his name was called but he wouldn't turn around because he felt guilty for how he treated his friend. Trying to swallow that lump in his throat that only got bigger the more he feared what was to come now that he had been caught a hold of. Which words of importance to Aoi would be spoken into the air?
"Can't you give me a chance...? Just one chance.. I know I can make you happy. Please... you won't know if you don't try." He didn't mean to, but the words became more pleading than he wanted them to, needier, sounding more desperate. But in reality, that's exactly how he felt.. Needy and the despair made him beg for what he wanted. "Akira... Akira.. please look at me. I want you to look at me..." He pleaded again, his hands limp on his sides. The need to touch the other made him start decreasing the distance that had been between them. He might have pleaded for the other, but to Reita, his words weren't convincing, weren't important, at all.
Unintentionally, Reita had let his gaze fall down on the dirty asphalt, on the dirty road he always walked down every day. But then the blonde lifted his head and faced the sky with closed eyes then, a moment after opened them halfway as he searched the sky for something it didn't have. Then the first sign of rain hit him, a raindrop solely crashed on this weary face. It trailed down and then more drops came from the sky, rain came pouring down on them. Drops of rain mingled with the tears that now streamed down, tears he never gave permission to come out. His shoulders started to shiver while his fingers clutched to his arms, his nails dug painfully into the flesh. He heard the footsteps on the asphalt getting closer, the rain falling harder, louder in his head and his heart beating in uneven fear. Dashing forward with all his might, with all the energy he had left in his drained body, he ran. And he ran so fast, so far, without any destination. Just let his feet lead him to wherever they wanted to take him. If he only could go anywhere with them.
Some place far away would be nice.
"AKIRAAA!!" Aoi shouts out to no one at all. Because he was the only one left in the parking lot. Alone, feeling hurt, rejected and more than anything... sadness consumed his mind like never before. As the rain kept falling, it only drenched him to the core, soaking every piece of cloth on his body. But he didn't care. It didn't matter. All that mattered to him just ran away.
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