suggestions please
i've thought about it and i want others feed back. i know i am crazy and i totally feel it. i am literally about on my wits end. recently i've been having nightmares. they have gotten pretty hardcore. i can't keep my emotions in tact and i wake up physically scared. recently someone at my job got a promotion and thats when they started. i guess because i realized how much a hold michael has over me. i always was able to say he never stopped me from doing stuff but now he has. he's stopped me from working normally. most my friends tell me that it's just a sign i need to get out. but i like my job sorta. but anyway. i want suggestions on what these dreams mean. or if you don't know what they could mean tell me if i am nuts!!!
in one dream i am running through a forest following a fairy who looks like bill from tokio hotel *laugh i know* but all of a sudden i can't breath and everything goes black when i open my eyes i see this painting max did and i realize michaels strangling me agian. he lets go and gets up and then he walks over to skylar who is asleep. he leans over and looks at me and smiles then touches him and stand up. he blows and skylar blows away into dust. i scream but it's too late michaels behind me and he's playing with my hair and i am crying. he tells me that no matter how much therapy i get he will always be there to haunt me. then i am at work and i can't talk and he walks over to carly and touches her and what i guess is her bf *i haven't met him* and all of a sudden they disappear and i hear her screamming. THANK GOD the only perk to this dream is i see nothing. then he's behind me and he goes 'no matter how much therapy you get you'll never trust men.' then things change again and i am on the roof of a building and theres this song playing. it's this piano concherto that max plays. i walk to the edge and michaels standing on the ledge. he tells me to take a look and like a moron i do. max, carly, erin, miranda, all my family and my friends are looking up and shaking there heads. they start to walk away and michael pushes me. i always wake up.
in another one i am at work developing film. every roll is blank. then robert walks up and tells me it's my fault and i just look at him. all of a sudden he morphs into michael and he just cocks his head and goes 'you know it is' and then i look at the screen and it's pictures of skylar like dying in this weird very not pleasant way. then i try to get the roll out and it goes nuts and michael wraps it around my neck and pulls me close to him. he kisses my chin and tells me that i will forget skylar long before i will forget his legacy. then he runs his hand across my face and i black out i guess it just turns black. i wake up and my legs and....down there are aching like they used to when he.....anyway i look around and theres blood everywhere. then lights come on and skylars head is just sitting here with all these other ones and michaels standing there and goes 'look what you did now when you fell asleep...i got bored.' i start screaming in the dream and wake up screaming.
in another one i am sitting on a cupcake *this one was weird* and all of a sudden a snake pops out from it. then a spider. then one of the sprinkles morphes into michael. i get up to run and the snake bites me and i am laying there trying to move but i can't. michael walks over me and is looking at me and goes 'in death you should know i would still kill you slowly.' he raises a hammer above me but i wake up thank god
me and skylar are laying on the deck playing where did the stars go. the deck collapses and skylar is gone. i look around and i see him on the other side of the rubble. i walk over to him and touch his shoulder but when he turns he changes and it's bugs and stuff and when they part it's michael. i wake up.
i know this might be more then anyone ever wanted to know about me...but if you could help it would be nice. i am posting this on my myspace blog and livejournal. if you ahve both sorry. thank you