(no subject)
Winter 2019
I've certainly neglected this forever.
Three day weekend presidents day. Came home from work Friday with no plans, pretty beat, literally went straight to some Haagen Dazs and a Broad City episode, pretty content to not do shit; ended up closing down Sharlene's with Trevor at his beckon, a solid one-on-one.
I'm really loving the one-on-one hangs these days; I worry though that part of that stems from me not having whatever security or je ne sais quoi it is to, like, deal with plurality in group conversions, to not feel entitled to that solid milk chocolately-half of the conversation, in the duo.
Maybe it's pure loneliness. I'm 33 and I, like, get "My Dinner With Andre", I think. I'm a bald commuter, god damn, how old was Wallace Shawn supposed to be in that?
Sometimes I twist the knife and jam that Erik Satie song.
I'm 33 now, and I'm still pretty hung up on the woman I started dating two years ago, not in cruel, debilitating way, but I just don't know how to let it go, I assume it'll rinse out eventually. Maybe it doesn't ever, I'm just triggered by Avenues, and entire neighborhoods and whiskey-soda-bitters and crochet and shades of mustard yellow.
Sometimes, too often probably, I twist the knife and go through the pictures and videos; the algorithm fucks me up, keeps me haunted.
Going to New Orleans in two weeks, finally biting the bullet on the full week that Coconut advised me to do, that I couldn't believe was the move, until I went and then it all made sense. A lot of Wes made more sense once I went to New Orleans.
Whatever the case, 33 and have a credit card for the first time in my life this year, can do the thing, the winter get away, buy plane tickets and deal with a month later, could go to Minetta Tavern if I wanted to (I do, plz go with me)
Al Green tickets go on sale this week, I should buy Al Green tickets. Do I just buy one? Do I buy a pair? Am I confident enuff to buy four? Can't buy four, gotta save for New Orleans, live thriftily for next two weeks.
On that hummus and 99 cent whole wheat pita move. Prudence dictates...
Got the apartment to myself this week. Deep some deep scrub cleaning this three day weekend; holed up for a couple days and then braved out in the freezing rain Sunday night to see Endless Boogie at a jazz club on Avenue C, two sets, chewed some sunshiney chopped up dried fungus; that is the kind of shit I've always wanted to do. It was a solo hang, which is fine, sometimes that thing is best accomplished solo. Do I want a hippie girlfriend? I'll certainly try a hippie girlfriend? Is there a prospect of hippie girlfriend?
So I'm rolling to New Orleans solo, a year ago, went as a couple. Some parts were awesome because we were a duo, she was always an excellent partner for stomping into bars, day and night. I suppose this will be a different beast altogether, can pursue other hangs, a plurality of the beloved aforementioned one-one-one hangs could go down, that'd be a great vacation, seek out a handful of ex-Richmond and DC friends.
Maybe it'll all be too crazy for any of that? I got no clue, I'm trusting Coconut on this, this is his carnival and I've wanted to check it for minute.
Looking forward to even just wandering. The dreamy quality of New Orleans, that almost unsettling hypnagogic haze, try to will some Inception-y deja vu.
Pulled the trigger a month ago on a long overdue L.A. trip, which ruled, it was mega mellow way, but mega mellow addressed my wants, and while it was most definitely mega mellow but still included seeing Warthog at a 9 Shocks Terror show and mega mellow with dollar bills hurled at pole dancers at Jumbo's Clown Room. Ate too many donuts too quickly and bought GISM and Rusted Shut records. Did not grab a Karen Dalton record and now I wish I had.
New Years Eve I was hung up, a week later at Milk Music (ne Mystic 100s) still hung up.
Part of me gets way too excited in the midst of the hangup, da hell? Like the heart is gonna explode, like the brain's got nothing to do with any of it.
foul moods and old tensions resurface, but to what effect on the hangup?
I'm going through a brown butter thing lately.
and pine nuts.
and seared garlicky greens.
That actually sounds so fucking awesome all together.