Redo of TM Topic #98: Kitty Reflection
What do you think when you look in the mirror was the question. Before it was allot easier to answer it. Or at least was easier to lie to myself. Could just ignore the truth before. Cause before as a vampire I didn't have a reflection or any reason to look into a bloody mirror. But just recently that all changed. So can no longer hide from the truth of what I really am inside. Or the reflection I'm forced to face when lookin' in the mirror. Because now I do have a refection. Though isn't exactly the reflection I was hopin' to see. No I don't see the reflection of the man I use to be. The good man that sacrificed everything for true love. That gave up any chance at happiness so the ones he loved and the world itself would survive. No there is no reflection for soulful William. Nor for the poor dark tortured demonic being known as Spike.
Instead is only a tiny insignificant image that shows up when I look in a mirror. Yet is still a reflection nonetheless. Now when I look in a mirror, I see a cute little blue eyed kitten staring back. And you wanna know how this makes me feel? Before I was nothing. Not even a reflection to acknowledge that I even existed. Now I'm not nothing. I'm not cold and dead inside. I'm not some heartless monster looked down upon and despise as a freak of nature. I'm not a social outcast anymore.
But not because I've finally found the love and acceptance that I've craved for my entire existence. Instead I've lost myself completely. I'm no longer a man or monster. I'm just a bloody pussy cat. And it truly makes me wonder if the reflection I see now is the real me. Is this who I really am inside. Am I this timid and vulnerable... this pathetic and helpless... this unloved and unwanted. God I'm afraid to look in the mirror. Cause I'm scared of what I'll see. Scared that I'll see the real me. And that he really is nobody.
Muse: Spike
Fandom: Buffy/Angel The Series
Words: 358
Instead is only a tiny insignificant image that shows up when I look in a mirror. Yet is still a reflection nonetheless. Now when I look in a mirror, I see a cute little blue eyed kitten staring back. And you wanna know how this makes me feel? Before I was nothing. Not even a reflection to acknowledge that I even existed. Now I'm not nothing. I'm not cold and dead inside. I'm not some heartless monster looked down upon and despise as a freak of nature. I'm not a social outcast anymore.
But not because I've finally found the love and acceptance that I've craved for my entire existence. Instead I've lost myself completely. I'm no longer a man or monster. I'm just a bloody pussy cat. And it truly makes me wonder if the reflection I see now is the real me. Is this who I really am inside. Am I this timid and vulnerable... this pathetic and helpless... this unloved and unwanted. God I'm afraid to look in the mirror. Cause I'm scared of what I'll see. Scared that I'll see the real me. And that he really is nobody.
Muse: Spike
Fandom: Buffy/Angel The Series
Words: 358