(no subject)
It has been an odd tiring day mostly because I've cried so much. I woke up with a physical pain in my heart because of a dream/real life occasion and that automatically set the tone for the next few hours of my day. My loneliness smacked me upside the head today and I finally emotionally reacted. With the end of a long-term committed relationship where the man was both my best friend and my lover and with all of my friends either being located in different cities or states, I have huge chunks of my heart missing with no hope in sight of them being filled or mended anytime soon. Right now this very moment I feel so alone, misunderstood, forgotten, and lost. I'm supposed to say that I'm trusting God to help me through this mess and that I'm relying on Him to give me my worth but I'm not at that answer yet, at least not genuinely. I know what I can say to make things seem better and to not have my parents worried. But I'm just tired of every day passing me by and me feeling as if I'm without purpose. Where is my purpose? Why have the stars placed me here without any of my incredible friends? Why Lord? I'm just confused and I'd like some clarification on what it is I'm doing where I am. I'm just so down and disappointed today.