days gone by

[soulessrain]

what happened to the days when everything was so easy to decide? All you had to figure out was what you were gonna wear to school and who'd you eat with at lunch. Now it's deciding whether or not I want to go to that school. Calvin. Do I want to go back? Do I want to stay home? Why does it feel like either way I'll end up letting somebody down

Comments

[angelgirlo04]

steph-
I really think that whatever you do your parents will still love you and care about you! In the end, you cannot please everyone, believe me. I spent too much of my time trying to please everyone so hard that I missed out on having friends, enjoying life, and most of all serving God. When we were talking a few weeks ago, I could really tell that you were struggling to find your place and where you needed to be and that you thought you knew where you wanted to be but that your fear of disappointing your parents and leaving Nanea were really holding you back. Don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to leave. I love you even though we have only known each other for a little while but I have truly enjoyed our fun times and good talks. I really think that you should follow your heart, but most of all remember that whatever decision you make, it was part of God's plan. HE knew you would make that decision and follow that road and even if it wasn't what you expected, you learned and were changed by that decision. Just think, maybe Calvin is not the place for you and maybe you are meant to be back at home with Marty and all of you high school friends, but maybe the purpose of you being here was so you had to make the hard decision you are making to not return in the fall(or spring) and to stay home. MAybe it was for you to realize that no matter how hard you try, you cannot please everyone and that you have matured because you decisions cannot all be based on your parents anymore, they have to be about you and what God has planned for your life!

I know, I know, it sounds like I am lecturing you but i am just saying from experience, that pleasing everyone leaves most unhappy anyway and you most of all unhappy.
I love ya steph, and I think that whatever you decide will be the right decision.

[soulessrain]

thanks sam! you're an awesome friend and i love you dearly and i regret to inform you that i have made my decision. I'm staying home and will be attending the community college and then when i receive my AA i will most likely be attending Central. my plane ticket is changed, i'm coming january 4th and will be leaving january 8th. nea doesn't know, nor does jamie. they will know soon though... I'll see you while I'm out there. You are great Sam and I appreciate your support through all of this. Love you!

[angelgirlo04]

I love you too and I can't wait to see you! I kind of had a feeling that is what was going to happen when you got home and saw everything you missed and all the friends who were back home without you and could hang out with Marty just about any time you wanted to. I just glad you made this decision for you and not for anyone else. I hope you enjoy being at the community college more than you liked calvin. Always remember that the stars only shine when they are in the dark and man are you a star or what. I sincerely hope and pray that you grow in the Lord and that you make your faith your own much more than you felt it was here in Michigan. I also want to tell you that something that has been on my mind sense we talked was when you told me that you had said to someone that you didn't think you would ever be with Marty because you couldn't be with someone who loved the Lord like that and that made you feel so inferior or something to that affect. You know what you said and you can ignore the parts I just made up in there but I wanted you to know that you glow with an inner beauty and grace that I don't see in many people. You are very sincere and you don't act fake when you don't feel the faith you know you have. Even if you are struggling now remember that you have an inner beauty that glows for others to see that is a true love for God even if you don't feel that right now. I know it rambles a little and is hard to follow but I hope you get mostly what I am trying to say. I really pray that you will be happy with your decision and I think you will be. Love you more!