pathetic
hmm.. i just watched finish episode 4 of The L Word.. finally managed to find the videos.. on YouTube.. =) this rocks! it's so touching. hmm. it's a lesbian soap opera btw.. so many characters.. all complex and intriguing in their own way. so nice to watch. it's funny but.. after watching lesbianism im kinda lik.. feeling weird abt my own lesbian tendencies? it's ok to feel it but once i start actually bein aware of it, analysing it, it strikes me how unnatural this is. lik.. i dno.. i cld never imagine myself spendin my entire life with a girl.. sigh. like im all for homosexuality, ya know, but when im actually presented with it, im taken off-balance. i guess it's juz ignorance? blissful ignorance? like most ppl think they can surely take smth but they dont know how it realli is till they experience it.. lik, HIV for example.. i mean, who actually goes n thinks abt how it wld feel lik to haf HIV? i tot i cld handle it.. but not till in sec3 when i went for the HIV test cuz one of my previous partners had had multiple sexual partners and i was worried after givin him a blowjob.. hmm.. yeah then i finally started getting scared. but luckily i was clean la. haha... sigh. one shldnt play with fire.. i wanna go visit a lesbo bar.. what happens if i end up sleeping with some girl tho. *shakes head*
my ex came round today to return me my shawl that she borrowed long time ago.. she juz popped it in the mailbox n left. i was still in bed.. i was wonderin if she'd lik write a note to put in with it or smth.. but nah it was juz my shawl in a paper bag.. i felt quite crushed after that. everytime i see her online i cringe a little. she's lik so happy u noe.. her nickname is "Happy =)" wtf. yeah. so.. like that lo. i guess it hurts a lil realising that she's really over me. no, it hurts a LOT. haha. sigh. im still not quite over her. sometimes i find myself thinkin abt her and missing her.. but i guess it's juz e loneliness. it's juz me bein psycho. her display pic is these 2 jap guys.. gross.. so she's lik turned straight huh? or whatever.. i dont wanna get with someone now. but the loneliness.. esp since my girlpals are lik overseas.. or workin.. changx, nab and phee are overseas.. my bestie is workin everyday.. my life is realli slow right now.. got so mani things to do but i aint doin em. damn. feelin kinda screwed. lol. my sister's weddin this sunday.. ohwell imma cut my hair 2ml. one excitin thing to look forward to. yay.
ohoh frm lastnight i started imbibing 2 teaspoons of honey b4 bedtime =)) it's supposed to help burn fat. lol. by stimulating the liver or smth. last night i had it with water. 2nite i had it with hot milk. im tryin to formulate a way of eating it that wont haf me eatin too much b4 bedtime.. will defeat e purpose. how bout having a honey/milk shot everynight? not injection, lik u noe whiskey shots? or smth? yeah that much. quite cool. lol.
my ex came round today to return me my shawl that she borrowed long time ago.. she juz popped it in the mailbox n left. i was still in bed.. i was wonderin if she'd lik write a note to put in with it or smth.. but nah it was juz my shawl in a paper bag.. i felt quite crushed after that. everytime i see her online i cringe a little. she's lik so happy u noe.. her nickname is "Happy =)" wtf. yeah. so.. like that lo. i guess it hurts a lil realising that she's really over me. no, it hurts a LOT. haha. sigh. im still not quite over her. sometimes i find myself thinkin abt her and missing her.. but i guess it's juz e loneliness. it's juz me bein psycho. her display pic is these 2 jap guys.. gross.. so she's lik turned straight huh? or whatever.. i dont wanna get with someone now. but the loneliness.. esp since my girlpals are lik overseas.. or workin.. changx, nab and phee are overseas.. my bestie is workin everyday.. my life is realli slow right now.. got so mani things to do but i aint doin em. damn. feelin kinda screwed. lol. my sister's weddin this sunday.. ohwell imma cut my hair 2ml. one excitin thing to look forward to. yay.
ohoh frm lastnight i started imbibing 2 teaspoons of honey b4 bedtime =)) it's supposed to help burn fat. lol. by stimulating the liver or smth. last night i had it with water. 2nite i had it with hot milk. im tryin to formulate a way of eating it that wont haf me eatin too much b4 bedtime.. will defeat e purpose. how bout having a honey/milk shot everynight? not injection, lik u noe whiskey shots? or smth? yeah that much. quite cool. lol.