a mess.
ha.. suddenly i dont feel lik blogging. damn.
oh well. i just realised that i forgot to drink my honey tonight -.- doesn't make much difference now does it, it's alr 4 am. lol. it's been raining the entire day.. and now the wind is still blowing strongly through the trees.. it sounds quite creepy. ive got totally clear glass windows behind me.. and when i start hearing the wind lik that, it freaks me out. i imagine myself turning behind and erm.. seeing stuff i shldnt see. yeah. but of course that's just my imagination.. and an overactive one, at that. hmm.. think i shld get the windows covered, lik my mom's been suggesting.. so i can't see what's outside.. and ppl can't see me changing clothes. lolll
hmm.. i feel kinda shitty right now. been watching The L Word again.. haha.. i guess my reasons for feeling shitty are well, shitty. lemme see. i'd actually had a really bad headache tonight and i tot i shld sleep early.. lik changx did, i suppose, cuz she had a headache too. but i ended up watching the L word all the way till 4 am. i guess i forget that each episode is supposed to last an hour? and i watched lik.. what, 3 episodes? i dno. somehow it doesnt seem that long.. haha. my eyes have been feeling really tired recently.. i guess it's all the starin at the comp screen and tv screen and what not.. just plain staring. yeah. and other reasons for feeling shitty.. well they're cumulative. am thinking of the game im playing now (FF9) and how i totally screwed up.. imagine forming a party of 4 to take into this non-magic zone.. of which 2 members are bloody mages. i mean.. gawd. that's lik the stupidest thing to do. so now im screwed. gotta go read some walkthroughs to make sure i get outta that place with minimal damage done. haha. gahhh.. ok so that's one. another is.. well ive been meaning to clean up my room for several days now.. and so far nth's changed. bleh. still the stacks of clothes and paper everywhere.. yeah.. my to-do list is accumulating.. i actually juz wanna stay at home and well, ROT. but ive got so mani events lined up this week.. my bestie is coming over to bake 2ml (wed).. changx is coming over on thurs to play PS I/II.. on fri ive got my prev jc OG dinner outing and the archery bbq.. which i think im gonna skip, since the darn jnrs will be there. man. bloody fred. ok it's not only the jnrs, i think my dinner outing will clash with the bbq.. it's just unfortunate they're both on the same day. and weide wont be going.. and prob yuenling too.. and yeah it juz aint fun w/o the seniors u know what i mean? and an evening of dao-ness with the jnr girls and getting ridiculed by the jnr guys juz aint my idea of a good time -.- geez. ok and on sat, im going to this City Harvest Church christmas performance.. hmm.. it's at Expo. im not a religious person and i usually shy away from any activities remotely related to christianity. urk. but this time im going juz to accomodate my online mei which erm i havnt spoken to for yrs.. =/ she's abit weird now.. lik.. i dno. she's frm that church and.. man, she's juz weird now. im like =/ when i talk to her. she's 15 now. and also, this guy KKK will be going.. he's another netfren.. he was 28 when i was sec2. LOL. we had a lil fling.. he's another weirdo. i dno why im doing this. i feel really reluctant.. i mean one half of me is saying gawd u know u dun wanna go for this. juz tell her and get it out of your system! yet the other half is saying hey cmon it cld be fun.. sigh.. i think it'd be mean to cancel right? as in.. i dno if it's being prejudiced to turn down every invitation that's to do with religion.. but i feel seriously uncomfortable going for such events. yet, i dont feel right telling them, oh hey im sorry i dont do christianity so yeah. that's just.. being.. yuck. *shrugs* sighh..
hmm 2 big events happened recently.. my sis' wedding was on sunday, 17/12. it was meant to be an outdoor wedding but im sure we dont want to wear swimming costumes as wedding attire.. so yeah in the end it was held indoors.. it was at Raffles Marina. i think my outfit was pretty classy.. =) this deep purple tube dress with a white cropped jacket and champagne gold wedges! wedges is a type of heels btw. yeah. and a gorgeous necklace with blue jewels to brighten up everything. heee i feel happy just thinking about it. oh and i had a pedicure done.. now my toenails are black with white n silver floral designs.. dont puke, it's seriously pretty. well it was, until i botched it juz minutes later, trying on shoes. LOL. ah well. how was i supposed to know all those layers of polish wld take so long to dry? sheesh. i guess to my mom it's juz another stupid thing her daughter did.. they juz keep coming.. lik right before that, i ruined her $200 bag.. ripped off this little flap, thinking it was the zipper. man. ohwell.. i dno what to say about myself la. yeah. i was to be at the reception table.. didnt do very well i think, it's hard to erm smile at people and be nice. i tried. but my smile was fake... luckily i had one of my sis' jie meis there to help.. she was really professional and welcoming and her voice sounded so nice and.. well.. she was a real pro. i guess she really fits her job.. she mans the telecounters or smth.. lik customer service via telephone? yeah... garrghhh.. why is bein nice to strangers so hard? i can't even smile. i can't smile unless i mean it. lik even when my dad takes pics of me.. u shld see how awful i look. sometimes i dont even smile. i juz look surly. sometimes my smile looks like =/ instead. in fact it's lik that most of the time.. its not even curved. gawd. a real smile curves upwards.. but the fake smile i use juz opens out horizontally and shows my teeth.. that's not a smile.. that's barring my teeth. lol. like how an animal does when it's hostile. what an apt description of me.. *faints*
ok well aniwae the wedding wasn't so bad i guess. i had my cousin Jared there to keep me company the whole night. he's 19. i KNOW we are cousins and that's that. it's weird tho.. cuz here's me being real chummy with a guy and.. gawd im screwed up. what can i say? i used to have crushes on this other cousin, and when i was little i got angry at another (much older) cousin for faking affection with me. he had a gf btw. he was just play-dancing with me and i was idiotic enuf to fall for him a little and get all peeved later.. lol he mustve thought i was nuts. i wldnt speak to him for a little while after that. i guess for me, r/s are all mixed up. like.. they're not how they're supposed to be. my r/s with my mom is not how it's supposed to be. my r/s with my family aint how it's supposed to be. this r/s with Jared is by far one of the best ive had with any of my family members. its nice. it feels weird feeling close to a family member. i guess in time, i'll be fine. juz gotta keep my head with me.. haha i realise this all sounds terribly psycho.. and i realise im not exactly the most sane person.. im suddenly thinking of all the weird stuff i used to want, used to think when i was younger.. man.. i was one screwed kid. seriously. man.. i feel terrible right now.... worse than shitty...
k.. so the wedding went fine and the food was good juz that it disappeared too quickly and Jared and i were bein gluttons who kept going out for more servings and scheming about how to get the seafood (cuz it goes really really fast. lik unimaginably fast) and sharin food and all.. sigh. oh i forgot to mention that the wedding started at lik 5 plus in the morning? the whole groom coming for the bride thing. it was crazy. and i felt crazy for i'd onli slept an hour.. i slept at 4 am and my sis came banging at my door at 5 plus (cuz i'd accidentally locked it the previous night n forgot to unlock it) to get her dresses n stuff that she'd stored in my room -.- my room's a total storeroom manz.. my house is one huge storeroom. it drives my mom mad. ok aniwae.. yeah even tho we were supposed to get up at 7 but i didnt get much sleep frm 5 plus to 7 due to my sis and her bridesmaids.. gawd.. den later all the fun and games with the jie meis and the brothers.. lol.. it's crazy. it's great fun. it's disgusting. and it makes me feel lik i dont want to get married next time. i dno why. i juz... i dno. yeah. den later we had a lil break cuz they were doin e tea ceremony at the groom's place. so i had a nap. den after that they came back for the tea ceremony at my place.. so i had to get up.. and i went to the toilet.. and when i came back to my room, still dressed in my batik dress and lookin all sleepy, gawd, Jared and my 2nd aunt were in my room, checkin out my (shrivelled) plants. how terribly embarrassing!! my room is in a TOTAL mess. ARGH! and recently i found out that my cousin also brought her annoying kids to look at the plants (while i wasnt there).. her son is the pervert who slapped my ass the last time i let em in. and the girl makes lik SO MUCH NOISE?! she's a scorp too. i guess we're all screwed kids huh. damn, many a time i wanted to juz shout at them to shut e f*cking hell up.. but of course i cant. ok den after the whole tea ceremony.. i set up the PS2 and Jared and i played it, side by side, till 4 plus.. when i went to get ready for the wedding dinner.. u noe it's all weird cuz i havnt done such things with a guy and it's things that i tot i wld do with a bf.. yet he's my cousin.. i feel so confused. it's not lik i like him la.. but these feelings that i associate with him are lik.. really crappy. i think it's juz cuz im bloody lonely. prob im not used to bein close to a family member.. yeah. in time..
k.. i stole so mani roses frm the wedding =)))) and i saw these GIGANTIC gorgeous rose blossoms that are unbelievably huge.. and of course i stole those too =P now i feel inspired to take up rose planting! haha. tho it's realli hard cuz of all the associated pests.. lik aphids.. and who-knows-what. blehh. OH. this brings me to my next event! i went to the Sg Garden Festival today! with my dad =) was gonna bring changx along too but she's going with her mom later on. it's a real eye-opener.. the orchids are lik.. wow.. but after awhile ure eyes tend to glaze over cuz uve been staring at too mani orchids for too long. some of the varieties are crazy tho. anyone who thinks orchids are juz boring Vanda Ms Joaquims have definitely got to see the orchid exhibition at the festival.. it's like.. whoaaaaa. seriously. they've got GIANT orchids.. with blooms the size of a child's hand.. and tiny tiny ones.. smaller than your lil fingernail. they're got lik really really rounded phaelonopsis (sp?) orchids.. and weird curvy ones that totally do not look lik orchids. the variety of shapes is amazing. ok the festival doesnt onli haf orchids.. they've got this "marketplace" which has a variety of booths.. frm shops selling all sorts of plants to shops selling food and clothes and art with plant themes.. cool huh. oh and the festival has loads of showpieces.. frm this whole section on terrariums to lik, landscaping designs.. and so on. cool shit. hmm. i wldnt realli call it a festival tho? it's more of.. a convention? yeah..
you know, ive got this major psychological problem. and i'd better get it out now. it's 2 things, basically. like, i noticed that for the past 2 events.. the weddin and the garden festival.. i went to it with this hope in my head that i might get noticed by guys and get hit on. isnt tht sick. as im typing this i feel sick. it's just this little thought at the back of my head.. but it's noticeable. and when i notice it.. i feel.. not right. this shldnt be how things happen, yeah? why is my self-esteem so goddamn low again? why do i feel so desperate? sigh.. ive tried telling myself.. look girl you gotta love yourself before you can let someone else love you. or love someone else, for that matter. like when i feel this way, i think of the next r/s ill be in.. and i picture myself being a shitty gf.. being clingy.. unreasonable.. far too demanding.. and i know ill be that way. cuz i aint ready. and till i feel ready.. till i feel fine.. i know i cannot let myself go into a r/s. yet i dno how im gonna become ready.. ok not ready for a r/s per se. as in juz get myself outta this rut. i gotta start loving myself. that means finally doing the stuff i know i need to do.. stop procrastinating.. start exercising.. start signing up for those driving and inline skating courses.. start makin those phone calls.. start living more healthily.. sigh. i need to feel like.. this is my life and im my own person. i cant keep feeling lik i exist for the sole purpose of getting together with someone. yeah. that's juz crap. *shrugs* that juz shows what a shrivelled person i am. as shrivelled as my malnourished plants.. haha. sometimes tho, i juz wanna lean on someone. really.. oh well. ok the next prob i haf is my reaction to ppl who say they like me.. not that ive had much exp with that.. but so far all the exp ive encountered arent going v well. my reaction is unhealthy. ill start to feel lik i have some edge over them.. which is assholic. and like.. ill act weird ard them. i cant be myself anymore. becuz.. well, i dno, cuz somehow i think being myself is what made em like me so if i dont want em to like me i shldnt be myself? makes weird sense? and also cuz im hypersensitive.. and paranoid.. and abit screwed up there. ok.. basically i need to learn to be able to take it.. in some way i cant accept it graciously.. i dno why but it boosts my self-esteem, den after awhile, my self-esteem crumbles. cuz i find out some probs with the person who likes me, and ill think that oh since that person has this prob so therefore im not really that attractive. it's just them. somehow, them liking me becomes a sort of weakness on their part. that is insane isnt it. i feel quite ashamed now.. but at least im admitting it. sigh.. i think i shld go lie down.. cuz i dont feel very good now... i dont feel myself. it feels weird to be typing all these.. and i feel quite ripped open.. (if that's possible)
it's been raining.. the whole day.. flooding.. the rain never seems to stop...
oh well. i just realised that i forgot to drink my honey tonight -.- doesn't make much difference now does it, it's alr 4 am. lol. it's been raining the entire day.. and now the wind is still blowing strongly through the trees.. it sounds quite creepy. ive got totally clear glass windows behind me.. and when i start hearing the wind lik that, it freaks me out. i imagine myself turning behind and erm.. seeing stuff i shldnt see. yeah. but of course that's just my imagination.. and an overactive one, at that. hmm.. think i shld get the windows covered, lik my mom's been suggesting.. so i can't see what's outside.. and ppl can't see me changing clothes. lolll
hmm.. i feel kinda shitty right now. been watching The L Word again.. haha.. i guess my reasons for feeling shitty are well, shitty. lemme see. i'd actually had a really bad headache tonight and i tot i shld sleep early.. lik changx did, i suppose, cuz she had a headache too. but i ended up watching the L word all the way till 4 am. i guess i forget that each episode is supposed to last an hour? and i watched lik.. what, 3 episodes? i dno. somehow it doesnt seem that long.. haha. my eyes have been feeling really tired recently.. i guess it's all the starin at the comp screen and tv screen and what not.. just plain staring. yeah. and other reasons for feeling shitty.. well they're cumulative. am thinking of the game im playing now (FF9) and how i totally screwed up.. imagine forming a party of 4 to take into this non-magic zone.. of which 2 members are bloody mages. i mean.. gawd. that's lik the stupidest thing to do. so now im screwed. gotta go read some walkthroughs to make sure i get outta that place with minimal damage done. haha. gahhh.. ok so that's one. another is.. well ive been meaning to clean up my room for several days now.. and so far nth's changed. bleh. still the stacks of clothes and paper everywhere.. yeah.. my to-do list is accumulating.. i actually juz wanna stay at home and well, ROT. but ive got so mani events lined up this week.. my bestie is coming over to bake 2ml (wed).. changx is coming over on thurs to play PS I/II.. on fri ive got my prev jc OG dinner outing and the archery bbq.. which i think im gonna skip, since the darn jnrs will be there. man. bloody fred. ok it's not only the jnrs, i think my dinner outing will clash with the bbq.. it's just unfortunate they're both on the same day. and weide wont be going.. and prob yuenling too.. and yeah it juz aint fun w/o the seniors u know what i mean? and an evening of dao-ness with the jnr girls and getting ridiculed by the jnr guys juz aint my idea of a good time -.- geez. ok and on sat, im going to this City Harvest Church christmas performance.. hmm.. it's at Expo. im not a religious person and i usually shy away from any activities remotely related to christianity. urk. but this time im going juz to accomodate my online mei which erm i havnt spoken to for yrs.. =/ she's abit weird now.. lik.. i dno. she's frm that church and.. man, she's juz weird now. im like =/ when i talk to her. she's 15 now. and also, this guy KKK will be going.. he's another netfren.. he was 28 when i was sec2. LOL. we had a lil fling.. he's another weirdo. i dno why im doing this. i feel really reluctant.. i mean one half of me is saying gawd u know u dun wanna go for this. juz tell her and get it out of your system! yet the other half is saying hey cmon it cld be fun.. sigh.. i think it'd be mean to cancel right? as in.. i dno if it's being prejudiced to turn down every invitation that's to do with religion.. but i feel seriously uncomfortable going for such events. yet, i dont feel right telling them, oh hey im sorry i dont do christianity so yeah. that's just.. being.. yuck. *shrugs* sighh..
hmm 2 big events happened recently.. my sis' wedding was on sunday, 17/12. it was meant to be an outdoor wedding but im sure we dont want to wear swimming costumes as wedding attire.. so yeah in the end it was held indoors.. it was at Raffles Marina. i think my outfit was pretty classy.. =) this deep purple tube dress with a white cropped jacket and champagne gold wedges! wedges is a type of heels btw. yeah. and a gorgeous necklace with blue jewels to brighten up everything. heee i feel happy just thinking about it. oh and i had a pedicure done.. now my toenails are black with white n silver floral designs.. dont puke, it's seriously pretty. well it was, until i botched it juz minutes later, trying on shoes. LOL. ah well. how was i supposed to know all those layers of polish wld take so long to dry? sheesh. i guess to my mom it's juz another stupid thing her daughter did.. they juz keep coming.. lik right before that, i ruined her $200 bag.. ripped off this little flap, thinking it was the zipper. man. ohwell.. i dno what to say about myself la. yeah. i was to be at the reception table.. didnt do very well i think, it's hard to erm smile at people and be nice. i tried. but my smile was fake... luckily i had one of my sis' jie meis there to help.. she was really professional and welcoming and her voice sounded so nice and.. well.. she was a real pro. i guess she really fits her job.. she mans the telecounters or smth.. lik customer service via telephone? yeah... garrghhh.. why is bein nice to strangers so hard? i can't even smile. i can't smile unless i mean it. lik even when my dad takes pics of me.. u shld see how awful i look. sometimes i dont even smile. i juz look surly. sometimes my smile looks like =/ instead. in fact it's lik that most of the time.. its not even curved. gawd. a real smile curves upwards.. but the fake smile i use juz opens out horizontally and shows my teeth.. that's not a smile.. that's barring my teeth. lol. like how an animal does when it's hostile. what an apt description of me.. *faints*
ok well aniwae the wedding wasn't so bad i guess. i had my cousin Jared there to keep me company the whole night. he's 19. i KNOW we are cousins and that's that. it's weird tho.. cuz here's me being real chummy with a guy and.. gawd im screwed up. what can i say? i used to have crushes on this other cousin, and when i was little i got angry at another (much older) cousin for faking affection with me. he had a gf btw. he was just play-dancing with me and i was idiotic enuf to fall for him a little and get all peeved later.. lol he mustve thought i was nuts. i wldnt speak to him for a little while after that. i guess for me, r/s are all mixed up. like.. they're not how they're supposed to be. my r/s with my mom is not how it's supposed to be. my r/s with my family aint how it's supposed to be. this r/s with Jared is by far one of the best ive had with any of my family members. its nice. it feels weird feeling close to a family member. i guess in time, i'll be fine. juz gotta keep my head with me.. haha i realise this all sounds terribly psycho.. and i realise im not exactly the most sane person.. im suddenly thinking of all the weird stuff i used to want, used to think when i was younger.. man.. i was one screwed kid. seriously. man.. i feel terrible right now.... worse than shitty...
k.. so the wedding went fine and the food was good juz that it disappeared too quickly and Jared and i were bein gluttons who kept going out for more servings and scheming about how to get the seafood (cuz it goes really really fast. lik unimaginably fast) and sharin food and all.. sigh. oh i forgot to mention that the wedding started at lik 5 plus in the morning? the whole groom coming for the bride thing. it was crazy. and i felt crazy for i'd onli slept an hour.. i slept at 4 am and my sis came banging at my door at 5 plus (cuz i'd accidentally locked it the previous night n forgot to unlock it) to get her dresses n stuff that she'd stored in my room -.- my room's a total storeroom manz.. my house is one huge storeroom. it drives my mom mad. ok aniwae.. yeah even tho we were supposed to get up at 7 but i didnt get much sleep frm 5 plus to 7 due to my sis and her bridesmaids.. gawd.. den later all the fun and games with the jie meis and the brothers.. lol.. it's crazy. it's great fun. it's disgusting. and it makes me feel lik i dont want to get married next time. i dno why. i juz... i dno. yeah. den later we had a lil break cuz they were doin e tea ceremony at the groom's place. so i had a nap. den after that they came back for the tea ceremony at my place.. so i had to get up.. and i went to the toilet.. and when i came back to my room, still dressed in my batik dress and lookin all sleepy, gawd, Jared and my 2nd aunt were in my room, checkin out my (shrivelled) plants. how terribly embarrassing!! my room is in a TOTAL mess. ARGH! and recently i found out that my cousin also brought her annoying kids to look at the plants (while i wasnt there).. her son is the pervert who slapped my ass the last time i let em in. and the girl makes lik SO MUCH NOISE?! she's a scorp too. i guess we're all screwed kids huh. damn, many a time i wanted to juz shout at them to shut e f*cking hell up.. but of course i cant. ok den after the whole tea ceremony.. i set up the PS2 and Jared and i played it, side by side, till 4 plus.. when i went to get ready for the wedding dinner.. u noe it's all weird cuz i havnt done such things with a guy and it's things that i tot i wld do with a bf.. yet he's my cousin.. i feel so confused. it's not lik i like him la.. but these feelings that i associate with him are lik.. really crappy. i think it's juz cuz im bloody lonely. prob im not used to bein close to a family member.. yeah. in time..
k.. i stole so mani roses frm the wedding =)))) and i saw these GIGANTIC gorgeous rose blossoms that are unbelievably huge.. and of course i stole those too =P now i feel inspired to take up rose planting! haha. tho it's realli hard cuz of all the associated pests.. lik aphids.. and who-knows-what. blehh. OH. this brings me to my next event! i went to the Sg Garden Festival today! with my dad =) was gonna bring changx along too but she's going with her mom later on. it's a real eye-opener.. the orchids are lik.. wow.. but after awhile ure eyes tend to glaze over cuz uve been staring at too mani orchids for too long. some of the varieties are crazy tho. anyone who thinks orchids are juz boring Vanda Ms Joaquims have definitely got to see the orchid exhibition at the festival.. it's like.. whoaaaaa. seriously. they've got GIANT orchids.. with blooms the size of a child's hand.. and tiny tiny ones.. smaller than your lil fingernail. they're got lik really really rounded phaelonopsis (sp?) orchids.. and weird curvy ones that totally do not look lik orchids. the variety of shapes is amazing. ok the festival doesnt onli haf orchids.. they've got this "marketplace" which has a variety of booths.. frm shops selling all sorts of plants to shops selling food and clothes and art with plant themes.. cool huh. oh and the festival has loads of showpieces.. frm this whole section on terrariums to lik, landscaping designs.. and so on. cool shit. hmm. i wldnt realli call it a festival tho? it's more of.. a convention? yeah..
you know, ive got this major psychological problem. and i'd better get it out now. it's 2 things, basically. like, i noticed that for the past 2 events.. the weddin and the garden festival.. i went to it with this hope in my head that i might get noticed by guys and get hit on. isnt tht sick. as im typing this i feel sick. it's just this little thought at the back of my head.. but it's noticeable. and when i notice it.. i feel.. not right. this shldnt be how things happen, yeah? why is my self-esteem so goddamn low again? why do i feel so desperate? sigh.. ive tried telling myself.. look girl you gotta love yourself before you can let someone else love you. or love someone else, for that matter. like when i feel this way, i think of the next r/s ill be in.. and i picture myself being a shitty gf.. being clingy.. unreasonable.. far too demanding.. and i know ill be that way. cuz i aint ready. and till i feel ready.. till i feel fine.. i know i cannot let myself go into a r/s. yet i dno how im gonna become ready.. ok not ready for a r/s per se. as in juz get myself outta this rut. i gotta start loving myself. that means finally doing the stuff i know i need to do.. stop procrastinating.. start exercising.. start signing up for those driving and inline skating courses.. start makin those phone calls.. start living more healthily.. sigh. i need to feel like.. this is my life and im my own person. i cant keep feeling lik i exist for the sole purpose of getting together with someone. yeah. that's juz crap. *shrugs* that juz shows what a shrivelled person i am. as shrivelled as my malnourished plants.. haha. sometimes tho, i juz wanna lean on someone. really.. oh well. ok the next prob i haf is my reaction to ppl who say they like me.. not that ive had much exp with that.. but so far all the exp ive encountered arent going v well. my reaction is unhealthy. ill start to feel lik i have some edge over them.. which is assholic. and like.. ill act weird ard them. i cant be myself anymore. becuz.. well, i dno, cuz somehow i think being myself is what made em like me so if i dont want em to like me i shldnt be myself? makes weird sense? and also cuz im hypersensitive.. and paranoid.. and abit screwed up there. ok.. basically i need to learn to be able to take it.. in some way i cant accept it graciously.. i dno why but it boosts my self-esteem, den after awhile, my self-esteem crumbles. cuz i find out some probs with the person who likes me, and ill think that oh since that person has this prob so therefore im not really that attractive. it's just them. somehow, them liking me becomes a sort of weakness on their part. that is insane isnt it. i feel quite ashamed now.. but at least im admitting it. sigh.. i think i shld go lie down.. cuz i dont feel very good now... i dont feel myself. it feels weird to be typing all these.. and i feel quite ripped open.. (if that's possible)
it's been raining.. the whole day.. flooding.. the rain never seems to stop...