Cafe of Bitchin'
Haven't written in a while. Guess I still have a lot on my mind,find it hard to keep inside, but even harder to share. I have been working the past couple of nights. I haven't really talked much to anyone and it makes the nights go by so much slower. I guess i just really don't know what to say. I'm sorry to all of those who I'm a bitch to at work though. I just get really stressed out and find a hard time focusing on anything. I used to love the job.. but anymore I fucking hate it. I'm also mad because I just wish I fit in more with the people at work and maybe it would be easier if I did, it seems like the harder I try the more everyone pushes me away. Whether they realize it or not (no offense to those who are in them) it seems like everyone besides me is in one big fucking click, and its just starting to wear on me. I was excited about warped tour, but fuck warped tour anymore. I'll probably just be walking around by myself anyway.. just like every other day. no one wants to go with me anyway. Yeah I probably sound like i'm pitying myself. I'm just sick and tired of being sick and tired. Bullshit, drama, and life in general. I had fun going out to eat and hangin out with J. But I think he notices more than anyone how distant I have really become. We did do what makes me probably the happiest anyone will see me though, which may sound gay, but to shop. I hope he isn't worrying too much though. I saw him at the movies tonight.. he seemed pissed.. I hope he isn't mad at me.. but I wouldn't be surprised. Someone always seems to be mad at me. I got accepted into the cosmotology program at KC.. but I don't really even care about that too much either. What joy it will be going to school 8-4 then straight to work till 9 then come home do homework then back up.. It's going to be complete and utter insanity. Also I fried my hair with my straightening iron the other day so I had to get it cut when I've been growing it out for about a year now. I can't even stand to take it out of a ponytail. and for all that know me.. my hair USED to be the only feature I liked about myself. but I don't really have anything anymore. I just hope that the summer gets better and that everyone else is having more fun than I'm experiencing at this point. but i'm out.. good night all
K
K