(no subject)
everyday... day in day out... we learn new things... ur perception of me is wat u think of me... probably true to a certain extent... probably valid for a certain of time... i am in fact trying to change... wat is it that drove me to this state... coz of alot of things that was said or been said... maybe tts the reason why ive been on this roller coaster ride...
i remember those days when i really freaking dun get how things happen... it took me awhile to understand wats happening... change my mentality... then comes the time when u told me to just buzz off and stop all my non sese... i din get it at first too... why cant we tok abt it?... and then it took me a lot more effort to keep my mouth shut... to think out of the box... to put myself as something else and try to tok to u in a nice and cool manner... to the point that i cant even regonise myself sometimes... honestly speaking... im one who loves to face the problem rather than change myself to make the problem disappear... but i guess it didn work... so i had to change... so i think ive changed... but there are certain things tt probably u were right abt me... or wat it seemed to u... im still tat emotional... i still cant really take things as it is... but i guess its pretty standard right? i mean if the same thing happened to u... how would u feel? i dunno and i wun be able to noe how u would react and feel... but this kinda thing are the basics... its unchangable in a short period of time... but i worked on my external stuffs... ive changed externally... and i guess its still quite possible to mix the new external self with the old internal feelings... maybe the external forces can help change myself internally...
but... wat u seem may not be the actual thing right? we all do make errors in our judgements... i thought when u said certain things last time... u meant it as like wow u really mean it... but then i never thought it can change tat fast... so i guess sometimes we shud seek the reality instead on relying on all the assumptions and maybe even illusions... that are so well shaped by many factors like personal view and past histories... and besides everything are subjected to changes right... so views on someone shud change as and when its appropriate...
hmmm everything is in such a grey area... but its on the dark side... its like a drak grey... but still everythnig can and absolutely possible to change...
if all u really wan is to be at square zero... square zero it shall be... and im contented with that...
i remember those days when i really freaking dun get how things happen... it took me awhile to understand wats happening... change my mentality... then comes the time when u told me to just buzz off and stop all my non sese... i din get it at first too... why cant we tok abt it?... and then it took me a lot more effort to keep my mouth shut... to think out of the box... to put myself as something else and try to tok to u in a nice and cool manner... to the point that i cant even regonise myself sometimes... honestly speaking... im one who loves to face the problem rather than change myself to make the problem disappear... but i guess it didn work... so i had to change... so i think ive changed... but there are certain things tt probably u were right abt me... or wat it seemed to u... im still tat emotional... i still cant really take things as it is... but i guess its pretty standard right? i mean if the same thing happened to u... how would u feel? i dunno and i wun be able to noe how u would react and feel... but this kinda thing are the basics... its unchangable in a short period of time... but i worked on my external stuffs... ive changed externally... and i guess its still quite possible to mix the new external self with the old internal feelings... maybe the external forces can help change myself internally...
but... wat u seem may not be the actual thing right? we all do make errors in our judgements... i thought when u said certain things last time... u meant it as like wow u really mean it... but then i never thought it can change tat fast... so i guess sometimes we shud seek the reality instead on relying on all the assumptions and maybe even illusions... that are so well shaped by many factors like personal view and past histories... and besides everything are subjected to changes right... so views on someone shud change as and when its appropriate...
hmmm everything is in such a grey area... but its on the dark side... its like a drak grey... but still everythnig can and absolutely possible to change...
if all u really wan is to be at square zero... square zero it shall be... and im contented with that...