If I were truly to be myself [BACKDATED]
Characters: Mushu (travel_sized4u) and Mulan (thethirdhare)
Location: Casualty Communal, Mulan's Room
Rating: G
Time: July 18 after Shadow Confrontations
Description: Mulan comes to a very important decision, and she and Mushu catch up.
Mulan ached all over.
She couldn't quite remember a time she had hurt this much--not even in all her years of training and battling against the Huns had she felt this battered. Withstanding that fog for so long, fighting two Shadows, and then of course the confrontation of her own Shadow.
Recalling it made her stomach turn a little. She had looked exactly like she had on that day she when to the Matchmaker, and failed the test. The same day that had tried to steal her father from her, and the same day she shed the name of Mulan, and adopted the name of Ping.
It had said little. It sought her like all the others, but remained there crumpled on the ground, face obscured so even those telling eyes were hidden but she, Mushu, and she was sure Shang knew who it must be. It hadn't said much, but much had gone on in her mind.
Mulan was not a boy. She had no desire to be one. She wished to embrace her femininity so much, but she had failed as a woman, and in doing so would never be able to serve her family or China in any honorable way as one.
She accepted that she wished to be a woman, wished to be Mulan, and thus satiated her Shadow.
But she had decided that she would cast aside her own desire, forever live as Ping, and thus killed her Shadow--killed Mulan.
She'd be unusually silent since the Shadow simply crumpled and disappeared. Moreso than usual as China and Shang fussed over the wounds she had gotten in battle, silent as she trudged the stairs to her room; but she was grateful, so grateful just to be there now, and she let out a sigh leaning against the closed door.
Location: Casualty Communal, Mulan's Room
Rating: G
Time: July 18 after Shadow Confrontations
Description: Mulan comes to a very important decision, and she and Mushu catch up.
Mulan ached all over.
She couldn't quite remember a time she had hurt this much--not even in all her years of training and battling against the Huns had she felt this battered. Withstanding that fog for so long, fighting two Shadows, and then of course the confrontation of her own Shadow.
Recalling it made her stomach turn a little. She had looked exactly like she had on that day she when to the Matchmaker, and failed the test. The same day that had tried to steal her father from her, and the same day she shed the name of Mulan, and adopted the name of Ping.
It had said little. It sought her like all the others, but remained there crumpled on the ground, face obscured so even those telling eyes were hidden but she, Mushu, and she was sure Shang knew who it must be. It hadn't said much, but much had gone on in her mind.
Mulan was not a boy. She had no desire to be one. She wished to embrace her femininity so much, but she had failed as a woman, and in doing so would never be able to serve her family or China in any honorable way as one.
She accepted that she wished to be a woman, wished to be Mulan, and thus satiated her Shadow.
But she had decided that she would cast aside her own desire, forever live as Ping, and thus killed her Shadow--killed Mulan.
She'd be unusually silent since the Shadow simply crumpled and disappeared. Moreso than usual as China and Shang fussed over the wounds she had gotten in battle, silent as she trudged the stairs to her room; but she was grateful, so grateful just to be there now, and she let out a sigh leaning against the closed door.