Itachi is way too tired to be out and about right now. This isn't the first time, however, he let something as simple as fatigue stop him from reaching his goal. The idea that maybe he should take a nap had crossed his mind earlier in the morning, when him and Naruto had stumbled back into Death City, but they were underwhelming enough to ignore.
He had stopped back at his apartment, briefly. There was a change of clothes, and a sip of tea, and then he had set back out again. He wasn't even sure what he was doing, all the Uchiha knew was that he wanted to keep moving until he took up his Watch shift again. While it was true that he wasn't required to start back right away, the idea of simply sitting around did not sit well with him.
Itachi had someone to find.
The compelling urge to see his little brother was a steady feeling, one he usually pushed back to the corners of his mind. Keeping tabs on Sasuke had become a smaller priority since being in this place-- he had other people watching out for his well-being. Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi. Not that this was enough to calm the worry he constantly ignored.
After this mission he could care less that Sasuke probably didn't want to see him, that they were unable to hold a normal conversation- he just intended to check up on him. From afar, no doubt. Trying to speak with him was not part of the plan. That is- until he spots him on the street in front of him.
He pauses when he hits the street, perhaps half for the sole reason that he isn't sure which way to go. After his promotion, he wasn't required to have a set sector to patrol, and while he could technically make his own hours, he wasn't always expected at this time. Then again, he wasn't sure who was out for the count, even with the role call Mustang had issued, and therefore which areas needed more coverage. With the madness rollout during the sales, he considered the shopping district, but then he'd caught wind of weaknesses along the borders of the city, and so that was a viable option too.
Unable to make up his mind, gaze dull and fixed on the pavement of the street before him, Sasuke's brow creases in frustration. It shouldn't be this difficult to make a decision. He'd made it this far in life taking difficult situations, picking a solution and sticking to it with a stubbornness unmatched. Nothing felt sure, now, and for the second time that day, he worries about his own accountability. It's only distantly, as he tries to order his thoughts, that he feels eyes on him- but it's a feeling he's accustomed to and he doesn't look up directly.
He's been spotted. Itachi doesn't even need Sasuke to look up to know his little brother's awareness. Since arriving in Death City he's found that the younger Uchiha has always been able to sense when he was near. For someone rarely surprised by anything, this startled Itachi every time.
The idea of turning around and heading back the way he came passed over his mind briefly. But Sasuke- he hadn't seen him at all when they were in Europe, even when they were in the same base together. The only reason he had even know his brother was okay was due to Naruto. Willing himself to unfreeze, he took a few steps forward before stopping again. This time when he spoke, however, his greeting has changed slightly.
His attention only comes when those footsteps draw closer, and he takes a moment to categorize them. Everyone in this place had a different tread, and for the nin, it was tell tale. But he knows, he knows, seconds before the dark figure comes into his periphery and addresses him. Too dark eyes lift, softened by his outburst beforehand, though he doesn't realize how clear it shows in his face.
Sasuke's chest clenches, not for the first time, and he can't pinpoint the feeling. It should be fear, for what he was reminded of in the last week, a pervasive feeling he couldn't shake around his brother even now. But that isn't right. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't known if they were alright- he hadn't seen Naruto or Itachi since the fight, but he hadn't even considered that they might not have made it.
But his thought process spiraled, fizzled out, and it didn't matter what the feeling was because it was so big that Sasuke blinked and forced down the burn that threatened his eyes again. If he cried in front of Itachi, it would be blatant weakness, and his brother wanted him to be strong; he would never live it down. Still, his voice isn't quite steady when he opens his mouth, gaze wavering on Itachi's tired face, and the word foreign, familiar, and heavy with decision on his tongue. "Niisan-"
aASDFGHJK I'M HEEEREofshroudingredNovember 2 2011, 07:33:08 UTC
That word--
Itachi froze, an unfamiliar feeling wrapping itself around his chest- if he wasn't so used to blocking out his emotions it might actually have overwhelmed him. The look on his brother's face was one that had long since become foreign to him, the words coming out of his mouth wholly unfamiliar. For a brief moment it was as if Sasuke was young again, standing in front of him with a complaint about a scraped knee, as always just an excuse to get carried home.
But then it passed, and he was once again the same angry kid who turned his back on his village, his best friend, all for him. Finding his bearings for the second time, he stepped forward once more in some wild attempt to get closer and keep the distance at the same instant.
The sound hits the air and Sasuke isn't quite sure what he's just done save change something radically in himself and between them. Calling this man brother, for years it had been nothing but a word, a title and little more; something filled with hatred and bitterness. But he closes his mouth after it's said, a bird let loose from it's iron cage, and knows he can take back neither the honorific nor the feeling that had followed it.
It's nearly imperceptible, but Itachi freezes, a moment before he steps closer. A thrill like adrenalin races up his spine, something akin to fear that lodges in his throat. He can't find comfort in this Uchiha, he thinks, he knows, and yet in the charged quiet that sparks into the foot of distance between them- it's what Sasuke finds.
He's alive, they both are- Itachi and Naruto- and in the wake of Rei's awakening is almost too much for the shaken boy to handle. His chin lifts, forced to do so to continue looking into Itachi's face, and he realizes that putting everything else (Sara, Rei, the mission, his work) aside, it's all he wanted.
THIS THREAD asdfghjofshroudingredNovember 4 2011, 02:53:29 UTC
These interactions, they had only spanned over several moments, but to Itachi is seems so much longer. As if he had spotted Sasuke in the street hours ago instead of mere minutes. Forcing his eyes to focus, he gazes down at the face of his brother. The feelings etched across it are unfamiliar to him, and it's all he can do to stop himself from reaching out to him. It would only make him pull back.
Finally, he opens his mouth, and the words come before he can even think about what to say. Words that clearly didn't need to be spoken, but the silence was becoming too pressing.
The question, though it could have been something so simple and so easily dismissed from anyone else, strikes Sasuke like a blow. Normally, he could shrug it off: I'm fine. He had survived worse, he would continue to survive, and this altercation was nothing but another stepping stone for Sasuke to struggle over.
But he isn't fine, and for one straining moment he almost admits to it, and it surges into his throat and lodges there as a silent scream of No, no I'm not alright! That he's anything but alright: he's frightened, and hurting, and without a partner and a broken resonation that could leave him partnerless for an indefinite length of time. The uselessness that this realization provides, that he's weak, that he's failed not only in what was expected of him by his brother years ago, but in what he'd decided to do here.
Sasuke takes a breath.
"Yes," He lies, but it's blatant in his eyes, betraying how much of a falsity it is. "I didn't see you out there." Are you alright?
He's lying, and Itachi is tempted to call him out on it. Tempted, but he doesn't. Not yet. Whatever is wrong with Sasuke, most of which he can guess, it's something he can get through. His brother can get through anything-- that's something Itachi made sure of when he left him with nothing but a dead family and a grudge.
"I was there." It's his only comment as far as the mission goes. It hadn't been his worse, not by far, but in truth he was not happy with it. Particularly with how little he saw of the other Uchiha, considering all that had happened to him.
"Naruto was looking for you," He meant out there, during the fight; the last he'd seen of the too loud nin before everything had degenerated into chaos. Sasuke blinks once, as though refocusing, on Itachi's face, before his gaze raked the taller man's body as though he might be able to tell what injuries- if any- he'd sustained. But in truth, he wouldn't be able to tell. It had taken his getting up close and personal with his brother when he'd first arrived before he'd even realized the Uchiha was blind.
Unless he was missing a limb, it would be too easy for Itachi to disguise his pain.
"We found each other." Before I could find you. Though he has no intention of adding that he had been looking out for his brother-- if Sasuke did not realize by now that Itachi spent much of his time watching out for him he probably never would. The whole mission had been too chaotic, as far as missions go, and even though Itachi had left relatively unscathed, he had no intention of letting a job get that messy again.
"You and Sara--" He began, but the words simply hung there, the rest of what he was trying to say completely lost on him.
The words, though brief and half cut off, grip his chest like an icy fist. To Sasuke's benefit, it doesn't really show in his face, save a flicker in his eyes as he fights to keep his gaze level with his brother. It's a weakness, really, one that he hadn't intended to let loose- but Sara had always had his own agenda. It was something they'd agreed on a long time ago.
But the wound is still fresh, and the fear still lingers even if it's starting to numb.
"I told you I couldn't stay with him," He finally says, a hollowness lingering in his voice. Part of him had known, after all, that when he finally left the king wouldn't take it well. He just hadn't expected how badly he'd take it.
It's not a repeat, it's a statement. Although not one he is entirely sure about. While he never saw the king as being particularly good for his brother, the idea of Sasuke having bonds was not one he saw as being negative. Any bond he could get apart from himself and Naruto could be a step forward for him. He held his ground, but kept his gaze heavy on the younger Uchiha.
"What will you do now?"
Itachi wasn't sure of anything anymore when it came to Sasuke. It was a strange feeling for him, obviously, considering how he had spent so much of his life shaping his brother's future.
Itachi's gaze is so heavy, like a weight bearing down on his shoulders that Sasuke struggles to keep holding up. The expectations, the need to be strong, he clings to it now because he doesn't know what else to do. Sasuke's dark eyes flick away from the deep red of his brother.
"Find someone else," He says, but the distance hasn't left his voice. He will find someone else- he has no choice. But it's actually finding someone, it's figuring out what the hell is wrong with his resonation, that's scaring him. "I'm not giving up."
"I expected as much." And it was true-- Itachi knew his little brother would never give up, even if he could be terribly weak. His gaze on the younger Uchiha's face stayed in place as he scrutinized him further. "Although it is hard to imagine you putting up with someone new, after how long you and Sara-san..." He trails off once again. Clearly talking to Sasuke is still not something he's good at.
Sasuke shrugs to the sideways accusation, as it was nothing less than that. They both knew Sasuke didn't play well with others, even as a child he often preferred to either spend time with his brother or training on his own. After everything- he'd only become more barbarous toward the other kids. Not that Itachi had been around for that.
He had stopped back at his apartment, briefly. There was a change of clothes, and a sip of tea, and then he had set back out again. He wasn't even sure what he was doing, all the Uchiha knew was that he wanted to keep moving until he took up his Watch shift again. While it was true that he wasn't required to start back right away, the idea of simply sitting around did not sit well with him.
Itachi had someone to find.
The compelling urge to see his little brother was a steady feeling, one he usually pushed back to the corners of his mind. Keeping tabs on Sasuke had become a smaller priority since being in this place-- he had other people watching out for his well-being. Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi. Not that this was enough to calm the worry he constantly ignored.
After this mission he could care less that Sasuke probably didn't want to see him, that they were unable to hold a normal conversation- he just intended to check up on him. From afar, no doubt. Trying to speak with him was not part of the plan. That is- until he spots him on the street in front of him.
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Unable to make up his mind, gaze dull and fixed on the pavement of the street before him, Sasuke's brow creases in frustration. It shouldn't be this difficult to make a decision. He'd made it this far in life taking difficult situations, picking a solution and sticking to it with a stubbornness unmatched. Nothing felt sure, now, and for the second time that day, he worries about his own accountability. It's only distantly, as he tries to order his thoughts, that he feels eyes on him- but it's a feeling he's accustomed to and he doesn't look up directly.
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The idea of turning around and heading back the way he came passed over his mind briefly. But Sasuke- he hadn't seen him at all when they were in Europe, even when they were in the same base together. The only reason he had even know his brother was okay was due to Naruto. Willing himself to unfreeze, he took a few steps forward before stopping again. This time when he spoke, however, his greeting has changed slightly.
"Otouto."
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Sasuke's chest clenches, not for the first time, and he can't pinpoint the feeling. It should be fear, for what he was reminded of in the last week, a pervasive feeling he couldn't shake around his brother even now. But that isn't right. Maybe it was the fact that he hadn't known if they were alright- he hadn't seen Naruto or Itachi since the fight, but he hadn't even considered that they might not have made it.
But his thought process spiraled, fizzled out, and it didn't matter what the feeling was because it was so big that Sasuke blinked and forced down the burn that threatened his eyes again. If he cried in front of Itachi, it would be blatant weakness, and his brother wanted him to be strong; he would never live it down. Still, his voice isn't quite steady when he opens his mouth, gaze wavering on Itachi's tired face, and the word foreign, familiar, and heavy with decision on his tongue. "Niisan-"
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Itachi froze, an unfamiliar feeling wrapping itself around his chest- if he wasn't so used to blocking out his emotions it might actually have overwhelmed him. The look on his brother's face was one that had long since become foreign to him, the words coming out of his mouth wholly unfamiliar. For a brief moment it was as if Sasuke was young again, standing in front of him with a complaint about a scraped knee, as always just an excuse to get carried home.
But then it passed, and he was once again the same angry kid who turned his back on his village, his best friend, all for him. Finding his bearings for the second time, he stepped forward once more in some wild attempt to get closer and keep the distance at the same instant.
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It's nearly imperceptible, but Itachi freezes, a moment before he steps closer. A thrill like adrenalin races up his spine, something akin to fear that lodges in his throat. He can't find comfort in this Uchiha, he thinks, he knows, and yet in the charged quiet that sparks into the foot of distance between them- it's what Sasuke finds.
He's alive, they both are- Itachi and Naruto- and in the wake of Rei's awakening is almost too much for the shaken boy to handle. His chin lifts, forced to do so to continue looking into Itachi's face, and he realizes that putting everything else (Sara, Rei, the mission, his work) aside, it's all he wanted.
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Finally, he opens his mouth, and the words come before he can even think about what to say. Words that clearly didn't need to be spoken, but the silence was becoming too pressing.
"Are you alright?"
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But he isn't fine, and for one straining moment he almost admits to it, and it surges into his throat and lodges there as a silent scream of No, no I'm not alright! That he's anything but alright: he's frightened, and hurting, and without a partner and a broken resonation that could leave him partnerless for an indefinite length of time. The uselessness that this realization provides, that he's weak, that he's failed not only in what was expected of him by his brother years ago, but in what he'd decided to do here.
Sasuke takes a breath.
"Yes," He lies, but it's blatant in his eyes, betraying how much of a falsity it is. "I didn't see you out there." Are you alright?
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"I was there." It's his only comment as far as the mission goes. It hadn't been his worse, not by far, but in truth he was not happy with it. Particularly with how little he saw of the other Uchiha, considering all that had happened to him.
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Unless he was missing a limb, it would be too easy for Itachi to disguise his pain.
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"You and Sara--" He began, but the words simply hung there, the rest of what he was trying to say completely lost on him.
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But the wound is still fresh, and the fear still lingers even if it's starting to numb.
"I told you I couldn't stay with him," He finally says, a hollowness lingering in his voice. Part of him had known, after all, that when he finally left the king wouldn't take it well. He just hadn't expected how badly he'd take it.
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It's not a repeat, it's a statement. Although not one he is entirely sure about. While he never saw the king as being particularly good for his brother, the idea of Sasuke having bonds was not one he saw as being negative. Any bond he could get apart from himself and Naruto could be a step forward for him. He held his ground, but kept his gaze heavy on the younger Uchiha.
"What will you do now?"
Itachi wasn't sure of anything anymore when it came to Sasuke. It was a strange feeling for him, obviously, considering how he had spent so much of his life shaping his brother's future.
Reply
"Find someone else," He says, but the distance hasn't left his voice. He will find someone else- he has no choice. But it's actually finding someone, it's figuring out what the hell is wrong with his resonation, that's scaring him. "I'm not giving up."
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