Sixth Parfait | Video | Dec. 23rd, early afternoon
[When the feed switches on, viewers are greeted initially by a white screen. After several seconds, it eventually comes into focus and your attention is centered on a snow sculpture of the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon minus that slide at the front. If you’re thinking it looks a lot like the thing that hangs between the legs of men, you’re wrong. It’s a Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon. Any similarities it may have to a man’s privates are purely coincidental. There is a moment of contemplative silence before Gintoki speaks.]
Oi, Kagura, don’t you think this one’s better than the one we built last time? I guess the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon just isn’t the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon if it doesn’t have wings.
[Kagura nods to herself. Clearly they’ve done a better job this time.]
The wings symbolize hope! The will to never give up! Extra protection during days of heavy flow too!
That’s right, Kagura. And hope and extra protection are exactly what Death City needs. Santa and presents are redundant, we need only the length of this cannon to penetrate the walls of our hearts!
To raise our battle worn spirits! To inflame our p-- [she pauses] Wait, Gin-chan I still want a present.
[Aaand the camera pans over to Kagura.] Don’t be stupid. The Cannon is your present. This is your second one, actually, and it’s bigger than the first.
Eh? But I don’t want to share my present with the rest of Death City. And the first one doesn’t count. It was so small I didn’t even feel it. [Again, we would like to say that any similarities this snow sculpture may have to a man’s privates are purely coincidental. Look at Kagura’s innocent face. Would a child with such a face think dirty thoughts like that?]
[Gintoki snorts.] You ask anybody here who looks like they have even the slightest amount of experience, and they’ll tell you it’s all about how you use it. [The camera swings back over to the pen- I mean, Cannon.] Though I guess it might be even better if it was thicker.
How hard could it be? You just load the shaft and fire away!
That won’t do. You’re forgetting about hitting the right angles. Without them, it’s like you’re just groping around in the darkness. Taking aim actually is a necessity.
Oh! The Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon sounds like a great and powerful weapon. If we could all become like the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon we’ll have nothing to fear from those Kishin Eggs-- and you’re still getting me a present, Gin-chan, something that doesn't look like a pe--
Oi, you idiot! You’re not supposed to say what is it outrigh-- Ah, forget it... [And the feed blips off.]
[[ooc: Silver Grey is Gintoki, orange is Kagura!]]
Oi, Kagura, don’t you think this one’s better than the one we built last time? I guess the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon just isn’t the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon if it doesn’t have wings.
[Kagura nods to herself. Clearly they’ve done a better job this time.]
The wings symbolize hope! The will to never give up! Extra protection during days of heavy flow too!
That’s right, Kagura. And hope and extra protection are exactly what Death City needs. Santa and presents are redundant, we need only the length of this cannon to penetrate the walls of our hearts!
To raise our battle worn spirits! To inflame our p-- [she pauses] Wait, Gin-chan I still want a present.
[Aaand the camera pans over to Kagura.] Don’t be stupid. The Cannon is your present. This is your second one, actually, and it’s bigger than the first.
Eh? But I don’t want to share my present with the rest of Death City. And the first one doesn’t count. It was so small I didn’t even feel it. [Again, we would like to say that any similarities this snow sculpture may have to a man’s privates are purely coincidental. Look at Kagura’s innocent face. Would a child with such a face think dirty thoughts like that?]
[Gintoki snorts.] You ask anybody here who looks like they have even the slightest amount of experience, and they’ll tell you it’s all about how you use it. [The camera swings back over to the pen- I mean, Cannon.] Though I guess it might be even better if it was thicker.
How hard could it be? You just load the shaft and fire away!
That won’t do. You’re forgetting about hitting the right angles. Without them, it’s like you’re just groping around in the darkness. Taking aim actually is a necessity.
Oh! The Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon sounds like a great and powerful weapon. If we could all become like the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon we’ll have nothing to fear from those Kishin Eggs-- and you’re still getting me a present, Gin-chan, something that doesn't look like a pe--
Oi, you idiot! You’re not supposed to say what is it outrigh-- Ah, forget it... [And the feed blips off.]
[[ooc: Silver Grey is Gintoki, orange is Kagura!]]