My Spirit
Has been breaking and trying to get on the mend.. and crumbling.. then learning how to crawl again.. it's been exhausting..
One test after another has been thrown at me.. Kudos to me.. i've not cried in the past couple of weeks.. have managed to crack some jokes and laugh in the last 2 weeks.. I dont know if things are getting better.. i think they are.. or am i delusional.. i should just slap myself now for saying that.
It's been the toughest battle i've had to fight.. and its been the darkest tunnel ever...
I've taken solace in the bible recently.. funnily.. we all turn to something to grab on to when we feel we are drowning.. i cant find answers in my own religion.. but i love the way the bible is written although there are so many controversies about the new testament..
I've learnt the hard way.. the people that you hope would be your pillar when you are crumbling are not really there.. because they are having their happy times... and in the midst they have forgotten how you have been there in their darkest of times to lend a shoulder..this is a repeated pattern over and over in my life... they try to act like they are really concerned.. but you fail to sense the genuity in their actions.. its saddening..but i've learnt.. man will fail you.. but GOD will never.. So am believing in Him.. not because i have heard alot of miracle stories.. though i really would like one to come my way soon.. but because it does give my heart the strength to fight on.. i've given up on doctors..my physical body has been failing me.. but i know if i stregthen my spirit i'll overcome anything.. that is what i choose to believe now.. and i will try my best not to falter..
Dear God,
Please give me the strength to see this through and get all better very very soon..
Sha
One test after another has been thrown at me.. Kudos to me.. i've not cried in the past couple of weeks.. have managed to crack some jokes and laugh in the last 2 weeks.. I dont know if things are getting better.. i think they are.. or am i delusional.. i should just slap myself now for saying that.
It's been the toughest battle i've had to fight.. and its been the darkest tunnel ever...
I've taken solace in the bible recently.. funnily.. we all turn to something to grab on to when we feel we are drowning.. i cant find answers in my own religion.. but i love the way the bible is written although there are so many controversies about the new testament..
I've learnt the hard way.. the people that you hope would be your pillar when you are crumbling are not really there.. because they are having their happy times... and in the midst they have forgotten how you have been there in their darkest of times to lend a shoulder..this is a repeated pattern over and over in my life... they try to act like they are really concerned.. but you fail to sense the genuity in their actions.. its saddening..but i've learnt.. man will fail you.. but GOD will never.. So am believing in Him.. not because i have heard alot of miracle stories.. though i really would like one to come my way soon.. but because it does give my heart the strength to fight on.. i've given up on doctors..my physical body has been failing me.. but i know if i stregthen my spirit i'll overcome anything.. that is what i choose to believe now.. and i will try my best not to falter..
Dear God,
Please give me the strength to see this through and get all better very very soon..
Sha