goodnight my girl
This has been the hardest day of my life, by far. I've dreaded this day since as long as I can remember and now I still can't believe it has come.
I've never cried so much.
I've never felt this kind of pain, because I've never lost someone that close to me, or been old enough to understand what forever mean.
I sat there in the little room not feeling like it was me inside my own body. I listened to the words come from a man who has probably broken the news to so many others like me. I looked at him and felt almost numb, knowing that there was no good coming in this day.
I wondered why the other vet didn't suspect these new problems.
My poor baby girl.
I learned today that I'm stronger than I thought. As I stood with my arms around her, and my family in tears wondering if it was the right decision, I knew in my heart that I would not regret my choice. Because ultimately, it was my choice to make.
And I'm glad he told me to hold her as she took her last breaths. It was probably the hardest thing I've done in my life but I know she's happy now and at peace.
I didn't want to see her suffer, because I could see in her eyes that she was, even if she didnt want to admit it.
My last memory of her is of falling asleep last night, with her purring beside me...her arms outstretched to feel me. Her paws pressing into my mouth. I was uncomfortable but stayed there anyway..not knowing when the last time I would feel her beside me as I fell asleep.
I'm going to miss the snoring the most..as I would be desperately trying to fall asleep, she always beat me to it.
It's weird being in this house. Not having to leave the laundry room door open for her, not having to feed her in the morning, seeing her waiting at the steps for me to get home. Waiting each night for her to jump onto my bed...last night I couldn't sleep, I had to go get her...and im glad I did.
I'll miss you my baby girl. I'm sorry if you weren't ready to go..but something told me you were. When you looked me in the eyes before we left you. I love you i love you.. i'll never forget you. Goodnight my girl.
..please God, give me strength to teach tomorrow without breaking down in front of 30 pairs of eyes.
..and please take care of my girl.
Amen.
I've never cried so much.
I've never felt this kind of pain, because I've never lost someone that close to me, or been old enough to understand what forever mean.
I sat there in the little room not feeling like it was me inside my own body. I listened to the words come from a man who has probably broken the news to so many others like me. I looked at him and felt almost numb, knowing that there was no good coming in this day.
I wondered why the other vet didn't suspect these new problems.
My poor baby girl.
I learned today that I'm stronger than I thought. As I stood with my arms around her, and my family in tears wondering if it was the right decision, I knew in my heart that I would not regret my choice. Because ultimately, it was my choice to make.
And I'm glad he told me to hold her as she took her last breaths. It was probably the hardest thing I've done in my life but I know she's happy now and at peace.
I didn't want to see her suffer, because I could see in her eyes that she was, even if she didnt want to admit it.
My last memory of her is of falling asleep last night, with her purring beside me...her arms outstretched to feel me. Her paws pressing into my mouth. I was uncomfortable but stayed there anyway..not knowing when the last time I would feel her beside me as I fell asleep.
I'm going to miss the snoring the most..as I would be desperately trying to fall asleep, she always beat me to it.
It's weird being in this house. Not having to leave the laundry room door open for her, not having to feed her in the morning, seeing her waiting at the steps for me to get home. Waiting each night for her to jump onto my bed...last night I couldn't sleep, I had to go get her...and im glad I did.
I'll miss you my baby girl. I'm sorry if you weren't ready to go..but something told me you were. When you looked me in the eyes before we left you. I love you i love you.. i'll never forget you. Goodnight my girl.
..please God, give me strength to teach tomorrow without breaking down in front of 30 pairs of eyes.
..and please take care of my girl.
Amen.